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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, I just joined SAS and I wanted to introduce myself.
I have not been diagnosed with SAD, but I feel I have many of the symptoms and I thought a good first step for me might be joining an online support group.

I was married about 1 month ago, and have found it extremely difficult to adjust to having a new family. My husband does not have a particularly good relationship with his parents, and this makes things even more difficult for me. I often find that his parents put me in the middle of their relationship with my husband, because they feel I am a good influence on him. But, I feel they are wanting me to manipulate him into doing things they wish him to do. I'd rather let him make his own decisions.

I am extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation and hope to find ways to improve it.

I have difficultly making and answering phone calls, and prefer to use e-mail and social networking sites to communicate with friends and family whenever possible. I also feel very torn when I am invited to most social gatherings. Part of me would love to attend, and part of me is nervous and afraid to do so.

I do have "safe" friends and family members, whom I rarely get anxious or nervous about talking to or seeing. I find that others often let me down or leave me alone, and that makes it hard for me to trust them.

I'm hoping to find support on this site. I already feel better, reading through some of the threads and realizing that I am not the only person with these feelings (because sometimes it truly feels that way.)
 

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Hey Lacey :wels
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, ArtistLace! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hello and welcome! You remind me of myself except for the husband part. I hope you enjoy this place as much as I do!
I'd like to learn what about me reminds you of yourself.

I wonder if you are like me in the way that many people, even some of those I see daily, would have no idea that I have social anxiety. I seem to hide it, but sometimes I wish that everyone knew, so that people would better understand my reactions to some things.

I seem to have bad days, sometimes bad weeks. Other times I seem okay. It seems to take very little sometimes to make me want to crawl back into my shell. Sometimes I can tough it out, sometimes I just can't.
 

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Honestly, I just typed that because it was the first thought that popped into my head. There are quite a few people here who can relate to the both of us.

I have not been diagnosed with SAD, but I feel I have many of the symptoms and I thought a good first step for me might be joining an online support group.
I'm also here because I feel like the most of symptoms match, but never was diagnosed.

I have difficultly making and answering phone calls, and prefer to use e-mail and social networking sites to communicate with friends and family whenever possible.
I was a paralegal at an old friend's father's lawfirm once. I was only there for about two weeks until I left because I couldn't stand it. Part of the job was to answer the phone and take messages. I never answered the phone. I won't ever feel comfortable enough to answer business calls unless I'm sure I can confidently answer every possible question, react to every possible comment, and direct every possible concern. It's so embarassing for me to put someone on hold and get someone who can, most of which are working and don't have the time to help do my job for me.

When it comes to my friends and family I also prefer to use instant messaging or e-mail. I find it hard sometimes to call my own friends to hang out. Even when I'm already with one friend and he asks me to call up another friend to ask if he would also like to hang out with us. It's because I don't like it when I'm put on the spot with a phone call and I really want to say no, but I can't think of a good excuse right away. Also, I don't like turning people down, I almost always give in to peer pressure. And because of all this, I expect my friends to feel the same way when I call them.

I just remembered I'm avoiding calling my bank to get a new debit card because mine has trouble reading at some places. I've already checked online. It's not possible. I have to make this phone call eventually.

I also feel very torn when I am invited to most social gatherings. Part of me would love to attend, and part of me is nervous and afraid to do so.
Same here. I get a slight moment of excitement like there's something to do instead of be bored at home. Then I realize that I probably won't enjoy myself, and I will regret going.

I'm hoping to find support on this site. I already feel better, reading through some of the threads and realizing that I am not the only person with these feelings (because sometimes it truly feels that way.)
Finding out that I'm not alone and I have a problem was a big step for me. I'm more aware of the things I avoid due to social anxiety, and I'll take steps to overcome it. Very tiny baby steps though.

I wonder if you are like me in the way that many people, even some of those I see daily, would have no idea that I have social anxiety. I seem to hide it, but sometimes I wish that everyone knew, so that people would better understand my reactions to some things.

I seem to have bad days, sometimes bad weeks. Other times I seem okay. It seems to take very little sometimes to make me want to crawl back into my shell. Sometimes I can tough it out, sometimes I just can't.
I'm sure everyone here has those times too. Heck even people without social anxiety have problems that they worry about just as much. :)
 

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I have difficultly making and answering phone calls, and prefer to use e-mail and social networking sites to communicate with friends and family whenever possible. I also feel very torn when I am invited to most social gatherings. Part of me would love to attend, and part of me is nervous and afraid to do so.
Welcome :) I can relate. I always ask everyone I know to text me instead of calling.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
When it comes to my friends and family I also prefer to use instant messaging or e-mail. I find it hard sometimes to call my own friends to hang out. Even when I'm already with one friend and he asks me to call up another friend to ask if he would also like to hang out with us. It's because I don't like it when I'm put on the spot with a phone call and I really want to say no, but I can't think of a good excuse right away. Also, I don't like turning people down, I almost always give in to peer pressure. And because of all this, I expect my friends to feel the same way when I call them.

I just remembered I'm avoiding calling my bank to get a new debit card because mine has trouble reading at some places. I've already checked online. It's not possible. I have to make this phone call eventually.
Wow, does that ever sound familiar! I know exactly what you're referring to concerning already being with a friend and having them ask you to call someone else.

Sometimes a person will ask me to answer their phone for them. I usually give in, like you, I have difficulty turning people down. But I am also always searching for a legitimate excuse not to. Rarely do I find one, because there usually isn't one.

I am in the process of changing my name to my husband's. This means going to speak with many individuals at various offices and making many phone calls. Anything I can do online, I will. But, that's not always possible. So, I dread the phone calls and meetings that will eventually be necessary, just as you do.
 

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Hey, I'm sorry to here about your problems with your husband and his parents. Does your husband know about your anxiety? I think you should sit him down and tell him exactly what you feeling about this whole situation about him not getting along with his parents. Tell him it's really taking a toll on you and adds to your anxiety. And, I know, adding to your anxiety is the LAST thing you want to do. I have social anxiety, and If I could find anything to help lessen it, I would be jumping for joy. Your husband should understand , I hope you get through to him, through thick and thin you guys should stand by eachother's side. I know I'm only 18 and I don't know a heck a lot about marriage, but I've experience a lot in life, and having people you care about around you to help you through things can really be a life save- even if it's only one person. And if you have any thoughts or problems, please email me at [email protected]. Don't hesitate I'd love to chat with you.

Good Luckk .
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Hey, I'm sorry to here about your problems with your husband and his parents. Does your husband know about your anxiety? I think you should sit him down and tell him exactly what you feeling about this whole situation about him not getting along with his parents. Tell him it's really taking a toll on you and adds to your anxiety. And, I know, adding to your anxiety is the LAST thing you want to do. I have social anxiety, and If I could find anything to help lessen it, I would be jumping for joy. Your husband should understand , I hope you get through to him, through thick and thin you guys should stand by eachother's side. I know I'm only 18 and I don't know a heck a lot about marriage, but I've experience a lot in life, and having people you care about around you to help you through things can really be a life save- even if it's only one person.
Allissaxx, you have impeccable timing! My husband does know about my social anxiety and he is extremely supportive. Last night he sat down with me to read some of my posts on this forum, and that is when we came across your response (above).

His family situation bothers him more than it bothers me, I believe. He does not like to see me put in the middle and, at times, he will get angry with them for putting me in the position they do. As many of the people on this forum probably understand, this just makes things worse. I tend to feel guilty that I am escalating his family problems. He tells me that I have every right to feel the way I do, and that they are being manipulative and unfair. However, I think that while their actions are far from understanding of my condition, that a person without social anxiety would be far better equipped to deal with this situation. I feel that the situation is worse because my responses to their actions are overreactions.

My husband is one of the only people I can talk to, in person, about my social anxiety, and his understanding has only brought us closer. It's wonderful to have someone so close to me understand.

Just last night, after a very bad day at work, I apologized for being so dependent on him. He told me that's what our relationship is for. I'm very lucky. Hopefully, if he and I sit down to talk about this more often, my reactions to social situations will start to improve.
 
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