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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I'm starting college now three years after graduating high school and I just got back from orientation. Two words to describe the experience would be lonely and overwhelming. I was completely alone through all of it and it kinda bummed me out since most of the people I saw were with a family member or friends.

I'm enrolled in a computer programming/systems analysis program and when we got into our individual lectures/overviews, I was pretty uneasy throughout most of it. I just felt sorta out of place the entire time (everyone had a nerdy look to them and seemed like they belonged, while I'm sitting there in a Billabong Tshirt with shorts and flip flops knowing jack **** about programming), and when one of the profs mentioned we'd have to do some presentations throughout the term, my stomach lurched and I already started feeling the performance anxiety well up. Oh god, what the hell am I getting myself into? I'm completely freaking out. :(
 

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Anyone else recently attend orientation? How did it go?
Yeah, I attended orientation. I purposely got there late so I wouldn't have to do the breakfast and some fair thing they had to showcase clubs and whatnot. I had my dad with me but then they separated the parents and the students after a short slideshow presentation. Then the students got separated into groups and went to different buildings depending on what major you declared. There was some long *** presentation that I don't know really know what was about, I can never pay attention. After that we just met with our academic adviser and then signed up for classes and were free to go. Not bad at all really. However, I did an online orientation before I went. If you didn't do the online portion you had to stay for lunch and afterwards do some "activities" for the next 3-4 hours. **** that.
 

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i recently went to mine. we did this thing where we paired up for the whole day. of course i was paired up with the annoying ugly chick. it was awkward all day, i couldnt remember peoples names etc. it seemed like my group was just plain awkward.

i convinced my mom we needed to leave early so i didnt have to stay around the whole time. it was bad. i hope college is much better than this.
 

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I just had orientation yesterday but I have a slightly different situation because this year will be my 6th year of college! My first 2 years I was in a program at a university which I ended up not enjoying very much so I stopped halfway through it. Then I went straight after into a program (3rd year) at college that I wanted to have a field in but I found it too hard and failed two courses. Next, in my fourth and fifth years I took a liberal arts program because I wanted to at least have a diploma in something and the course is pretty general so it was good for me because I did not know what I wanted to go into any more. Finally, in April, I graduated that program and decided I wanted to take the library tech program at the same school so that's another two years. (my 6th and 7th!)

Anyways, as I said yesterday was my orientation and I just went alone and did not really care. Most people of course did come with someone else, but I shrugged it off because I'm used to being on my own. I actually found it pretty fun seeing all these new people and when we split up into our own programs it was nice to see who would be in my classes even though it was only about a half an hour lecture. Afterwards, there was a bbq outside, so I just ate on my own and got some errands done at the school and went home. It was no big deal, practically, everything that was said in the lectures, I knew about already but I thought it would be fun to get out and get free stuff! Good luck at school this year!
 

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so what did you do those 3 years? if you didnt go out in public much and deal with anxieties then it is going to be harder. you should've went straight to college. only person to blame is yourself.
thats bullsh*t. going to college just because you just graduated from high school when you don't care about it is a recipe for disaster. people should go to college when they want to go to college, and when they feel motivated to succeed. anyways, why do you assume he just sat in his room for 3 years and never came out? thats pretty rude.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
so what did you do those 3 years? if you didnt go out in public much and deal with anxieties then it is going to be harder. you should've went straight to college. only person to blame is yourself.
Like obsidian said, rushing into college just for the hell of it is probably one of the stupidest things anyone could do. Most likely the reason over 30% of students drop out the first year and only 50% graduate. As for what I did those three years, I worked at a shipping company driving a forklift... But even if I hadn't, what the **** is it to you? You know absolutely nothing about me, yet you make such a brash, self-assured statement. Way to be a presumptuously judgmental prick.
 

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What college/university is everyone going to?
 

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I still remember my freshman orientation. God, it sucked. I knew no one, and my SA was so bad at that time I could barely talk to anyone. Being forced together with all these new people absolutely freaked me out and I snuck back to my dorm room.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I was thinking you jus didn't go coz of social anxiety, which isn't a good excuse imo. Im jus saying because if you hadn't done anything that would effect your anxiety level around people. You'd feel worse. I wasn't really assuming anything, that's why I wrote "if"...so what iis it that was I presumptuous about? I dont get how my comment is brash, I think you just feel bad about yourself.
Your comment dismissively came across as if my reasons for not going straight to college were somehow trite or insignificant and then went on to say I'm the only person to blame, as if I was blaming anyone in the first place. And of course I feel bad about myself, I'd assume most people on this board do... What exactly are you doing here? You're certainly not being helpful, that's for sure. This forum is meant for support, this is the last place I'd want, or expect to be judged. God knows I get enough of that as it is, I don't need it here too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I meant, you would be the only person to blame.
Even if that were true, what in my initial post warranted that reply or specifically proposed anything to the contrary? Saying that is in no way constructive and quite honestly just feels like kicking a horse when it's down.

When people complain so much, it's like they don't realize they did it to themselves.
Nature vs. Nurture aside, if someone's feeling like ****, how is telling them "It's your fault" in any way going to help them feel better?
 

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Probably a majority of people feel disconnected at orientations, even though they are usually given in the hope of making people feel more at home. it's ironic.

school has just begun. it gets easier. it takes time for most students to feel at ease. sympathy and best of luck.
 

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I was thinking you jus didn't go coz of social anxiety, which isn't a good excuse imo. Im jus saying because if you hadn't done anything that would effect your anxiety level around people. You'd feel worse. I wasn't really assuming anything, that's why I wrote "if"...so what iis it that was I presumptuous about? I dont get how my comment is brash, I think you just feel bad about yourself.
Right.... So, social anxiety is no excuse and people should get over it.... But then when someone is actually trying to get over it + they share the process, you tell them what they're feeling is their own fault...how in the world is that supposed to help the people with sa you so strongly feel should face their fears?

The site is called Social Anxiety "Support" for a reason....
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Because you control your life, which may be obvious, but some people just don't get it. It warranted the reply because you may feel that life is against you or something. So just because you may not have proposed that doesn't mean you aren't possibly thinking/feeling it.
Doesn't change the fact that simply telling someone who's feeling down that it's "their fault" is a totally negative thing to say. Especially when they did absolutely nothing to imply they felt otherwise. Your words were completely presumptuous and in no way constructive, and if you truly disagree, why'd you delete your initial post?

Probably a majority of people feel disconnected at orientations, even though they are usually given in the hope of making people feel more at home. it's ironic.

school has just begun. it gets easier. it takes time for most students to feel at ease. sympathy and best of luck.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate the encouragement.
 

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No,what i'm saying is, if you quit high school or college because of SA, that is not a reasonable excuse in my opinion. It's hard to not feel bummed out from social anxiety, but I don't think you should let it stop you from going to school.
But the op is in school now... Even if you think taking time off because of sa is unreasonable, how is reminding someone of possible past mistakes supposed to help them in their present situation?
 

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Because past mistakes can help in other future/present situations, to think differently this time in order to improve.
That's true, but... Think of it this way... A kid breaks his leg falling off the monkey bars. The initial response is to treat the leg and help it heal. Afterwards, it would be helpful to tell the kid not to go on the monkey bars anymore, but making that the primary focus while he's laying there with bone sticking out helps no one...
 

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FrozenInferno said:
Nature vs. Nurture aside, if someone's feeling like ****, how is telling them "It's your fault" in any way going to help them feel better?
"It's your fault" can also mean, "Your own expectations and reactions contribute to how you feel." It may not make the person feel better, but at the very least it should contribute to a personal re-evaluation of one's use of willpower and self-regulation in a given situation.

Doesn't change the fact that simply telling someone who's feeling down that it's "their fault" is a totally negative thing to say.
It's not "totally negative," because it might be true. Part of getting over emotions or past actions is owning up to them; once you take responsibility for your actions and emotions you can start working through them. Feeling like **** yet never taking responsibility for how you react or behave toward things is a recipe for feeling even worse about yourself.
 

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It's not like that. A bone sticking out is just, grueling pain. This isn't like he needs an EMT or suicide hotline or something. So the analogy just doesn't work. I mean, it's just a bad analogy. It's like warning the kid not to go on the monkeys after he is pretty calm days later. If you disagree with something just relate it to the topic.
Alright, I could argue/ further simplify my point, but I don't think this will get anywhere... I tried to relate (notice how i started with "that's true") + you respond by not even trying to see any validity in my point of view... Have a nice life :D.
 

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Hmm... I didn't do orientation (community college). I just jumped right in to classes, but I totally get the anxiety about presenting/ feeling out of place. I think it's great you're back in school + I'm sure you'll be just fine;).
 
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