I have a habit of imagining myself as someone i'm not, i look the same, i'm just different, different family, different feelings, but same name, just the me i wish i was or will be someday. 99 percent of the time i'm dreaming..1 percent of the time i'm myself, so i've grown accustomed to dreaming these things and lost my identity for awhile, i need to learn to accept myself. I've got so many questions i'd like answered about myself..like why am i me? why am i so blessed and so cursed the way that i am? But alas, its just my fate..everyone has their own fate.
I've gotten a taste of what its like to be absolutely carefree and confident, if i could only reach that side of myself, there is just so much baggage covering the passage to peace in myself. I don't understand why i'm so fixated on this 'other girl' who's not me, but 'is' me...
I think that is part of my problem, i'm thinking that feeling 'good' like is as surreal as unicorns or werewolves existing, i've tricked my mind into thinking that anways.
I've given my energy to this phony me. I've given most of my time to this person who doesn't even exist but in me. So i've left myself out of this picture as the true me.