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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, I'm just sort of on my way out the door, and I had this thought. I've thought about this before, but couldn't really come to a conclusion. Today for some reason, I thought, "Hey, I wonder what other people with social anxiety would think and would they feel the same way?"

I was thinking about the way I perceive others, and the way I think people are perceiving me. I usually think that people dislike me, and that they're judging me unworthy for a multitude of reasons. Yet, I also noticed that I judge most people I see.

Right now, I'm paranoid about the thought of being criticised. Now I'm starting to think that maybe what's making me paranoid is the fact that I'm judging everyone around me and I can't stop. I never noticed it before, but I'm downright cruel. For tiny imperfections, maybe someone wearing a frayed sweater or someone with a big nose, I'll feel good (though when I see a person with no imperfections, I hit a brick wall and feel like crap).

These thoughts are really bothering me. I try hard to be a nice person and I really want to be liked by people, but I'm starting to feel really bad. No matter what I do, I can't make myself think -nicely- of other people and I only see everything -wrong- with them.

How can I change? :(
 

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I am this same way. See my post in this section, subject line 'Do you dislike people? Feeling superior?" I talked about how because I am constantly judging I feel that others must be doing this to me too.

I don't know how to change that, but I think perhaps I am so judgy because people have judged me in the past and perhaps my subconscious is quick to point out flaws of the other person in case I need to fire back at them? Or, perhaps that's how it started, then became habit.

Did you have people pointing out your flaws before?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well, I was bullied in elementary school. It was pretty brutal. I had kids call me ugly, spit on me, call me names. My only friends were a handful of other outcasts. Everything mostly changed in high school, and I never bullied or anything.

I was just really shy, and kids would tease me once in awhile about the way I'd stumble over my words, or how red my face went. That's when I went from just being shy, to having social anxiety. I was aware how my body reacted to social situations, and I hated it.
 

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Thinking well of other people works just like thinking poorly of other people. It took a long time of practice (perhaps you learned this from your parents and it comes natural to you) to think of people poorly, and it will take a long time of practice to think of people well. Think of the tiniest, smallest thing in the world that could be said that is good about these people. All you can do is build on it and keep practicing it until it becomes habit, and yes, I like you noticed that I tend to be more worried about people criticizing me when I am secretly criticizing them.

But, be fair. Remember, there are lots of terrible people out there, just like those kids in school. If someone treats you poorly and is a terrible person, acknowledge it as a fact and avoid that person or tell them to "piss off" in whatever way possible. But, give people a fair chance at first and let them give you good reason to think they are bad people before you actually engage in any type of that behavior.
 

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I judge people my age more than older people. I think it's because I got bullied in high school so I just asume most people my age will be the same /: It's mostly with guys as most boys bullied me in school (then again so did a group of girls in my child development class) It messed my defences up too, like if a guy my age asks me the time I act quite cold as I think he hates me /: I'm just paranoid.
 

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:clap same here...im starting to think the reason why i feel like people dislike me is because i thnk that way about them first. Its like my thoughts are reversing on me and i end up judging myself....in the end its all comes back to me. i judge people so i think they judge me.at the same time its my way of puttng up a wall so i wont be hurt..so ill call someone ugly or "ghetto" in my mind ,i dont mean to be cruel but these automatic thoughts are my way of hurting them before they hurt me...its very complicated
 

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I am nice to people that I speak to or who speak to me. From there, I always leave it up to them on how we get along. Be nice to me, no problem. I will return it.
I judge people all of the time, and although I know its a terrible thing to do, its just hard not to. Now, although I can be nice to people, overall I think people are totally worthless.
 

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I am nice to people that I speak to or who speak to me. From there, I always leave it up to them on how we get along. Be nice to me, no problem. I will return it.
I judge people all of the time, and although I know its a terrible thing to do, its just hard not to. Now, although I can be nice to people, overall I think people are totally worthless.
do you think its a defence mechanism? reject them and thnk theyre worthless before/just in case they judge you and think your worthless
 
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