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I've done something that I've never done before!

1068 Views 7 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  WhyMe888
You guys on here inspired me to start trying. So thats what I did today. I went into a walgreens store completely on my own, then my mom drove me to the other one and I did it again! Of course I was really pretty nervous, and didn't stay long, like less than 2 minutes. I knew what I was getting. This is something I've never tried before because I was afraid of the anxiety literally killing me or that I would lose control and I wouldn't be able to talk if I needed to. It didn't kill me, obviously. But it did tell me a few things, it told me that I underestimate what I can do, and that my anxiety symptoms are different than they used to be, some were worse some were better, my shaking is a lot worse than I expected.

Overall I'm pretty worn out mentally over the whole ordeal and actually pshyically too. And I really don't know what to think, mixed feelings, like depressed and disappointed, happy and hopefully. These things usually take a few days to sink in my mind, and it'll mean more to me a few days from now than I can comprehend now.

I'm determined to beat SA, maybe it'll take years, but I absolutely know I have to.

:thanks for listening to me
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All right, Tranquil Emotion! :boogie :boogie :boogie

You did great and you are a valued Walgreen's customer! Just remember, the cashiers are people, too, and if they don't know something, they have to do a price check :lol.
Awesome :banana
That is great, tranquil! Just take little steps each time. You'll get stronger and better. Believe me, cuz I've been there and I've come quite a long way. I used to say I can't do anything or go anywhere. But, as I ventured out and did things with courage and strength from God, I was able to overcome many social situations. I used to say I can't eat out in restaurants or in front of my boyfriend who is now my husband. Now, I love eating out and have eaten by myself in the food courts at malls.
I just want to encourage you, you can take small steps and soon enough you'll see that your freedom will expand beyond the confines of your home. You'll gain greater confidence to do more and more. It will take time, but it will happen.
I'll be praying for you.
Also, notice the thoughts you are thinking while you're in these anxious situations. These are the thoughts you need to evaluate. What are you telling yourself is terrible? More than likely you will come through the situation without any major harm. You probably won't die. The anxious feelings will pass. You probably won't see these people again, so who cares what they think.
You have to be your own best friend and dispute the negative thoughts.
Tell yourself good, positive and encouraging things.
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I started a journal of successes that I've made, but I'm only writing what I did, only a sentence or two. Actually I'm leaving out all the details about how my anxiety effects me, or how I felt. I think too much CBT can be more of a hinderence than a help. This has been really helpful in motivating me. I thought that writing down things that I tried was a good idea because I have a tendency to discount successes, or minimize them.

I think I did pretty good yesterday for someone who wasn't on any meds. Maybe I would have done better on ativan. I've thought about tackling walmart next, but thats a pretty big jump and not a good idea so I'll plan something else. I'm not looking to get trampled by my anxiety. :lol

How do normal people just go in places and not freak out and worry, worry, worry? I'm constantly aware of people, yesterday when I was in walgreens, and people walked past the isle I was on I'd try to act casual but then that just makes me look awkward and probably a little insane. I was paranoid that they were judging me on what I was looking at, and I was only buying shampoo! If the stores were busy and there was someone on the isle I would have gone down an empty isle and waited until they left to get what I wanted.

I do believe there is hope for us, and it's not a hopeless situation as long as you keep trying! :)
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Well done Tranquil! :banana

>>"How do normal people just go in places and not freak out and worry, worry, worry?>>"

heh. How do you now they are *not* freaking out as well? You don't, it's just your perception telling you everyone else can do it just fine. Unless they wear shirts or something, you don't know. ;)

Don't forget to reward yourself with a little something for your success. You deserve it.

Hey good job!!!!! That's the first step. :) Keep up the good work! We all have to start somewhere, right?
yay! good job. you deserve a dancing banana :banana
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