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Hi I've been waiting around a year to join this forum, I think. I'm a 20 year old male and I've battling with my demons for the best part of 10 years. But during the past year I've actually managed to get out of my depression by getting a full-time job working 9-5, I finally felt like I had a purpose. I was meeting new people every day and socialising. I had money to buy pretty nice clothes and aftershaves for myself, I was going out to clubs every weekend with friends. I gained a new-found confidence which I never had before. But then 2 months ago my job ended, they couldn't afford to keep me on any more. That was a MAJOR blow to my self-asteem, I started drinking more and more during the week mainly to stop myself feeling bored.

But last month I came very, VERY close to doing something stupid whilst drunk alone in my house. I thought to myself that I'll never get back on the horse and STAY on it, and I thought that in future I will just end up on the streets begging for money to buy maybe drugs or booze and that really scared me. so I got a handful of a different mixture of medication pills and I put them in my mouth. It was the first time I ever contemplated suicide, there was 50+ pills in my mouth but I couldn't bring myself to swallow them, so I just spat them out into the kitchen sink. After sobering up the next day, I shocked myself that I let myself get that far, so I'm making a vow to try and make something of my life and get back on track to being confident again.

So I thought it can't hurt to log onto here, (sorry for the long introduction)
 

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Welcome, OddKnee! :)
 

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Hey your intro is fine! I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through, is anything getting better now? I hope so. I had a past with suicide attempts, pills seem to be the way to go! I'm glad that you spit them out. God Bless your heart, I hope things get better for you untill then I'm saying a prayer for you. -Nicky
 

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I hope you're finding a reason to hang on for one more day, each day.

I was laid off from my first job out of college because of reorginization within the company and merging with another company. It really was a blow to my self-esteem.

Welcome, I hope things will get better soon and that you'll stick around for a while.
 

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Hey Oddknee welcome. :hyper
 
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