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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was feeling really down today.

I decided for the first time to open up to someone other than my twin brother (who also suffers from SA).

I don't really know what I expected. Part of me just wanted to get it out in the open. I think another part was looking for advice. I explained my situation and condition.

The person was sympathetic, but all they were able to provide was reassurances. I hate that. They seem so hollow. Anyone can say "It'll be okay," or "You'll be fine," but that doesn't really amount to much. Fact is, I am not convinced that I will be fine, and until I see some progress I doubt I will.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiments and all, but I guess I was hoping for something more profound. The discussion ended with me feeling the same way when it had started. I thought I'd feel relieved or possibly even encouraged, but neither happened.

On the bright side, I discovered that my fears of intolerance and rejection were unfounded, which, in reflection, is sort of nice.

What kind of experiences have you guys had when you opened up?
What kind of responses did you get?
 

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I've only spoken to one person .. my mum. In May this yr, i was really down, and i was crying in my room.. then my mum walked in.. i told her that i was miserable and unhappy with my life.. she told me that everything will be okay, and asked me if i wanted to go to the doctors. I said no, and it kind of got forgotten about.. my mum has no idea what social anxiety is, all she knows is that i "need to socialise more" (she actually said that to me today)..sigh.. it must be great having a twin who shares the same experience.. i would love that! my siblings are quite loquacious.. especially my sister.
 

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Some people can help some people can't.

Like if you were to ask me to help you in english, I probably couldn't since I know a lot about english, but its hardwired into my brain. I make grammar corrections just because a sentence doesn't look or sounds right, but I don't think I could make a list of grammar mistakes you need watch out for.

So this is why incredibly social people may not be able to help you, though the most common advice you will achieve is to just be friendly and to go to places where you can practice socializing, which isn't bad advice, there are only so many things you can learn through books (there are a lot of socializing books out there btw, you can torrent the most famous. Don't get dale carnegie's, that's just useless in this day and age), the real learning comes from actual social encounters. It may be really scary but its a must.

Back to asking people on advice though, you should only ask people really knowledgable about socializing, not people who are very talented. People who are talented got their stuff for free, it will be harder for them to explain things to you.

Though telling people in general isn't bad, and you can be sad when you are telling them the story as a good means of venting, just don't be sad when you aren't venting, its going to be hard making friends if you are a downer. See that person that you vented on now can hook you up with people you can meet, even if they can't directly help you with your problem, but to make friends with those people you can't be a downer. If you have to talk about your issues, DO NOT be ashamed of them. Unless your venting you should not go into sadness and shame, people rarely will actually empathize with you and pat you on your shoulder if you are ashamed of yourself, they will simply be put off because you're downing their mood. Just talk about your past for what it is, mistakes you've made which you can't change, there's no use feeling bad about it. Basically, act like you have self esteem (so hopefully you will get ACTUAL self-confidence), and that you are okay with your mistakes and flaws, and that you have learned from all your mistakes.

EDIT: to above post, why don't you actually go to a therapist. And to OP, almost forgot lol, a person that for SURE is a good person to talk to you about your problems due to advice that they can give is a THERAPIST! (if you have health insurance or go to a college)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Good point.

I'd seek out a therapist but I don't have insurance or money to afford it.

I'm not even sure if I can work up enough courage to make the call...

I wish I had someone a little more experienced to talk to, like you indicated. It would really help. I don't know anyone like that. I typically rely on what I read. It helps some, and I do find encouragement with it, but it never really helps solve my problems. I constantly read about exposing oneself to social situations, but I'm not even sure how to do this. In all honesty, I don't know where to go for the interactions that I so desperately need.

I am usually pretty good at hiding my depression. I slip sometimes, but I can normally maintain the facade.

It is nice that I have a twin to rely on, but we kind of bring each other down >_<
 
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