Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
87 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think part of the problem with SA is that we have to hide it from everyone, and keep it a secret. This fuels my anxiety because I'm worried people will notice, so I try and avoid them. If I knew the world was more accepting of this condition (which they're not), I would probably feel less anxious. The next time I got that "look" from someone, it would be nice to be able to say "don't worry, I just have social anxiety disorder". Of course this is impossible, and I really can't say that I blame them, because it's such an irrational thing. Nobody would fully understand. I'm left with trying to overcome this condition in secret as well as cope with it in secret.

I've thought about what my reaction would be if I eventually did overcome this, and people asked me why I seem happier. What would/could I tell them? This is a secret that I'll probably take to my grave.
 

·
SAS Member
Joined
·
31,286 Posts
Yeah, it would be nice to get a megaphone and shout it in the middle of the city. I guess you could tell them that you were struggling with some inner demons and you overcame it.
 

·
Starlight and moonbeams
Joined
·
20,920 Posts
I agree. If I could just explain to my friends the reason why I don't write them is because I have anxiety, and have them understand, it would be so much easier.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
84 Posts
I'm quite the opposite, i feel the need that others should perceive me as confident, otherwise if people know that i have SA, then i sorta feel weak and ashamed.
 

·
blessed with lucky sevens
Joined
·
840 Posts
Yeah, but some people will make fun of you for being like that and take advantage of you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
315 Posts
Tell if the other party deserves it, as post #6 implies. If not, individual rights protect you amply from idiots who make sarcastic remarks and the like.

In our case society adapts to you, not the other way around, as you are by equity entitled to greater consideration and care from others if necessary. No need to take up a submissive point of view if it's not appreciated by others.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,380 Posts
I was thinking the same thing. In fact, I'm going to make it a personal mission of mine to raise awareness about social anxiety disorder. I've already made a start by telling a spokesperson from Headspace (a mental health care provider in Oz) that more needs to be done to improve the lives of people with this condition. Wish me luck. And I wish you well. Hang in there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
87 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I wasn't implying that I was looking for sympathy or anything like that. The point I was trying to make, was part of my anxiety is brought on by the fact that I feel the need to hide it. I realize this is futile, but only because people don't understand it. If I was blind and someone said "hey, watch where you're going" all I would have to do was simply tell them of my impairment and they would completely understand. Can you imagine the anxiety they would go through if for some reason blindness was seen as weakness?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
83 Posts
It would be a nice thing if it was of some benefit but unfortunately most things concerning the mind are misunderstood by the general public. My own brother doesn't even understand and thinks I act like snob. He doesn't understand that my discomfort with being around people has nothing to do with snobbery at all....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,626 Posts
It would be a nice thing if it was of some benefit but unfortunately most things concerning the mind are misunderstood by the general public. My own brother doesn't even understand and thinks I act like snob. He doesn't understand that my discomfort with being around people has nothing to do with snobbery at all....
I was getting a cup of coffee and these two women were judging me calling me arrogant and snobby. All I wanted to do is say I have SA and you shouldn't judge people like that, I was shocked at that comment. Of course what my head thinks and wants me say and what happens is different. I just try to ignore it and go on my way. But ever since, I been avoiding people more, I don't feel there is someone that would understand because if I told someone I had SA, they would be perplexed. How can someone socially inept be arrogant.

I'm can't believe something so simple as expressing yourself can be so difficult and why I even care what people say and think. I simply want to go crazy sometimes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,527 Posts
I know the feeling of wanting to let everyone know. I've wondered if I would ever do something on Facebook when I'm drunk.

It's not really the sympathy, but just the want for others to understand. How many friends have I lost or slowly grown apart from because of SA? I've always wondered if letting them know would bring us back together if maybe they thought I wasn't interested in them anymore. How many times have I blown off people I'm still friends with? Not that it would give me the right, but maybe they'd interpret my actions differently.

Then there's also the thought of maybe somebody in my network has gone through the same things too. I've suspected close friends but never really asked them. There's hope that someone could reach out to me.

And then like was said, not having to hide it anymore would take off a huge burden. A lot of people I know probably think I'm weird. I'm sure they speculate and whatnot. Maybe if they had a reason to think I was weird their speculation would stop and I'd be at ease.

I'm mostly talking about people I already know though and not a random stranger that acts like a tool or something. I think you defenitely have to tell someone whether a close friend or family member or significant other. We shouldn't have to fight this on our own and I'm sure if someone we know ever needs help us SAers would be right there for them.
 

·
Remarkable
Joined
·
1,043 Posts
My real name is attached to social anxiety blogs and stuff all over the internet. So I guess I don't really care. I don't expect any "sympathy." It is what it is. If other people have a problem with social anxiety, that's their problem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,793 Posts
Well,I have thought of it..That it would be easier for people to understand why I'm so quiet,but I also know that not everyone is that understanding about disorders like that.

But also if people can't accept things like that,is that someone you would want in your life?
I was super nervous when I was going to tell my boyfriend about it,I thought that he would think less of me,but he didn't..He just accepted it right away..

With all this said I think that the reason for people not being open with things like that is mental disorders aren't accepted in society..I ruins the illusion of being perfect that everybody is trying to create.
 

·
dirt person
Joined
·
2,788 Posts
I don't think SA is really something you can hide. People know that I'm introverted and have no friends, they just wouldn't call it "social anxiety".
I guess it's true that people would be more understanding if I told them about it, but I don't want to be treated differently because of it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
529 Posts
I've always been & wanted to be a honest kind of guy.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people would use this SA info as a sign of weakness.

The men a reason to avoid you as a weirdo or wimp or to target you & use
you as a doormat. & women as a unattractive trait since you are not putting
forth the expected(demanded) men of steel that nothing bothers.
(Why does he never talk & tell me how he feels? Cuz it doesn't show the *required* confidence)

So I guess if you are asked & want to be accepted by most
your best chance of being accepted short term is to lie & hide it.(fake it till you make it)
Maybe once they get to know you it wont matter anymore.

What a foundation to build relationships on huh?
Especially with members of the opposite sex.

If you ever come clean or are exposed you are a fake/liar/deciever(I don't know who you are) but
you prob. would never of had a chance in the first place if you weren't.

Ain't life grand? ha ha (Don't answer that question. I already know the answer :eek:(
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top