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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't know if this is a good place to put this, but I want to get this out. Sorry if this upsets anyone or causes arguments etc.

As a kid my parents made me and my siblings go to church every Sunday and do church events and Sunday school. As a little kid I mainly slept and when I got a little older I slept still or talked to one of my brothers. At age 8 I had my first disbelief, I cannot remember what happened that day but I do know it was very bad. I was crying and cursing God over and over again. Then later I apologized asking for forgiveness. I also would pray every say, not selfish prayers for myself but for my family and friends and everyone else, most of the time my parents would pray with me before bed. I admit I use to believe because that's what was around me and in my heart I knew God was real even after that time when I was 8, I forgot and kept on believing, but like I said that's when things started going sour. When I got older I started to question my belief, my parents blamed my half brother because he always acted out and questioned about it, but I was thinking this myself. At age 14 I basically just did not want to go to church ever again, it was pointless to me and full of nonsense what they were speaking of. I got this idea in my head that it did not make much since. I guess since bad things were happening to me and my family I was mad but that's not the only reason. It may also be the fact that people like to call themselves Christians to make themselves feel good or look like a good person and they do not even follow what they believe, it bothers me. It's like too many Christians are hypocrites.
I hate when people say Gods blessed that person, but what about the other people, what are they..or I thank God for something, when someone else helped you or you did it yourself. My mom says it all the time even if I helped with something, where is my thanks. I worked hard. I don't think you can be religious and hate people, or judge. Or the point that some people do not even know what God is, because in my opinion it is taught to you, but if God really existed wouldn't you know without someone preaching to you, like wouldn't you feel it or something? If you don't know who he is and you don't praise him, won't you go to hell then? Even though it's not your fault. I also see to much hate to believe in some being that loves us and bless us. So God blesses people more then others..there are so many hard working people getting nothing.. I hear people say you have to go through pain, ****ing stupid. Pain should not last years and some people live in pain and die, that's just not fair. Or Gods testing you? Wtf why? If God or whatever else someone believes in is similar to Christianity and is devoted and has dont right by what their religions wants and still go through suffering and pain, that;s not fair and no they do not deserve it..
Maybe I beleive I'm a good person, I help people and care and yet bad things happen, not matter how much and how hard I prayed..8 years was a long test, and since I stopped praying years ago, not one thing has changed. No matter if you're christian, atheist, muslim, buddist, agnostic etc you might have good she happen to you as well as bad.
Look at America, founded on christian believes, but used it wrong. Lying that God told them to kill the Native American and take their land etc. that's evil and look at our country to day(for those that live here) all these politicians who are christian that are ****ing greedy lying selfish *******s judging all the time.
I hated when I stopped wanting yo go to church my parents would make me even when I turned 18. A few weeks ago my twin finally admitted he did not believe in God and my parents are pissed. They shove God down my throat all the time, and say I have to marry a christian man. That stuff just annoys me..going around talking about God all the time and praising him and putting him first before your own family is absurd to me. I've told no one that I don't, my grandfather is a retired preacher, my grandmother is a minister and so is my aunt and my other grandmother and aunts and cousin are big in the church, so me and my brothers are the only ones..
I feel like people have to believe in something to understand life and other things. Over the years of man kind humans have always believed in some higher power. Look at the **** load of religions that are out there, a lot have similarities but also a lot of differences and they all can't be right. Maybe there is a higher power and we all got it wrong. I just beleive as long as your a good person and try to do the right thing that's all that matters. I guess I feel like it's a waste of time and life should just be lived. I respect people who believe in something, just don't go around being a hypocrite. So not I don't hate Christianity or any other religions, just hate how a lot of people act like their better then everyone else and judge the hell out of someone who is not their religion or does not believe in religion at all.


One more thing, I see nothing wrong with masturbation or sex before marriage, we are like animals and have needs :D, same thing with Gay animals, God created them, so shouldn't it be okay?

Sorry if this got offensive or causing arguments or certain comments..was intentional.
 

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Nice real post.

I'm a fellow ex-christan, now atheist, so I can relate. However my family is not religious at all, I found Christianity through friends when I was younger. I was surrounded by religious people and friends a lot of my teenage life. I'm still friends with a couple of them who are really devoted Christians. They have good intentions a lot of the time. But I know what its like on both sides and frustrates me that I can recognize and relate to why they are Christian, but at the same time I can't do anything about it to open their minds more.

It's a very restricting belief that makes people suffer for simply just believing.
 

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I, too, am a former Christian. I was very much into the faith up until the age of about 21 (?). After that, the only word I can use to describe what happened to me was enlightenment. I remember back in High School, one of the reasons I was such an outcast was because of my fundamentalist Christian ideas. I remember no one agreed with them, especially at that age, I was just viewed as uptight (because it seems the last thing teenagers want to hear is Christian values. Then, in my very early 20s, someone opened me up to the idea of Humanist values (I came to the realization that you can be a good, caring, moral and ethical person without being affiliated with any religion or holding any claim to a God). Also, around the same time my mind just kind of evolved into a mindset that valued the scientific method and the world of evidence based science, and at that point, the supernatural stories of the Bible just seemed ridiculous and impossible. I didn't change my personal belief system to atheism due to my negative experiences in high school, my change was independent of that.

Your post has really closely "hit home" with me because religion, and then my move away from it, has been a major part of my life, so if there's anything you'd like to discuss further, feel free to talk with me about it.
 

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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Nice real post.

I'm a fellow ex-christan, now atheist, so I can relate. However my family is not religious at all, I found Christianity through friends when I was younger. I was surrounded by religious people and friends a lot of my teenage life. I'm still friends with a couple of them who are really devoted Christians. They have good intentions a lot of the time. But I know what its like on both sides and frustrates me that I can recognize and relate to why they are Christian, but at the same time I can't do anything about it to open their minds more.

It's a very restricting belief that makes people suffer for simply just believing.
Thanks, I really like what you said, especially the last line.

I, too, am a former Christian. I was very much into the faith up until the age of about 21 (?). After that, the only word I can use to describe what happened to me was enlightenment. I remember back in High School, one of the reasons I was such an outcast was because of my fundamentalist Christian ideas. I remember no one agreed with them, especially at that age, I was just viewed as uptight (because it seems the last thing teenagers want to hear is Christian values. Then, in my very early 20s, someone opened me up to the idea of Humanist values (I came to the realization that you can be a good, caring, moral and ethical person without being affiliated with any religion or holding any claim to a God). Also, around the same time my mind just kind of evolved into a mindset that valued the scientific method and the world of evidence based science, and at that point, the supernatural stories of the Bible just seemed ridiculous and impossible. I didn't change my personal belief system to atheism due to my negative experiences in high school, my change was independent of that.

Your post has really closely "hit home" with me because religion, and then my move away from it, has been a major part of my life, so if there's anything you'd like to discuss further, feel free to talk with me about it.
I'll keep that in mind. I too belief in humanist values.

It sounds like you've thought this through thoroughly--which is a good thing! Critical thinking is always a good thing. I'm sorry to hear that your family would not be accepting of you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell my mom since I think it would hurt her feelings, she would find a way to blame herself for my atheism.

I really dislike when people say that "it was god's plan." Usually they are trying to comfort someone, like when someone said that to me after I had a miscarriage. So, god decided it would be a good idea to rip my heart into a million little pieces and make me feel more empty than I ever felt in my life? And they're saying it like it's a good thing. I would rather the person say nothing at all than tell me it was god's plan that my baby's heart stopped beating.

I hope you and your twin can someday live religion-free! ;) You won't hear any arguments from me!
Haha yeah. It'll be better when we move out :p. I dislike that very much too, and that's sad what happened to you..
 

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Both ideas - that God is good or that he doesn't exist - are astounding.

Things being as they are, one would think the belief that God exists, but is a hateful, cruel being, would be far more prevalent. I often get the feeling that those in the Abrahamic traditions do, in fact, believe this, but worship anyway. They believe that God is good, but that he is good because the world is bad, and he is good because he is cruel to the world that is bad. That is why any sign of hope outside religion is so often treated by Christians and other religionists as a spit in the face of God.
 

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I agree with you on most of that. And it changed for me as I got older too. Luckily my parents aren't as heavily religious as they claim to be, so it's not much of a problem. Plus I'm not the only kid in the family who doesn't go to church now :p
 

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Hello, for the most part I've lived my life without saying that I belong to any specific religion but just believed in being respectful to others and doing good. However, I do believe in God but I'm still searching for answers here (especially about why some people seem to be more 'blessed' in life and why some people seem to live their entire life suffering)... but I do find that having a strong faith does help provide some hope and strength to carry on during times of hardships.

I hope that whatever pain you were going through passes.

And...

One more thing, I see nothing wrong with masturbation or sex before marriage, we are like animals and have needs :D, same thing with Gay animals, God created them, so shouldn't it be okay?
This made me laugh, haha :)
 

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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Both ideas - that God is good or that he doesn't exist - are astounding.

Things being as they are, one would think the belief that God exists, but is a hateful, cruel being, would be far more prevalent. I often get the feeling that those in the Abrahamic traditions do, in fact, believe this, but worship anyway. They believe that God is good, but that he is good because the world is bad, and he is good because he is cruel to the world that is bad. That is why any sign of hope outside religion is so often treated by Christians and other religionists as a spit in the face of God.
Interesting..

I agree with you on most of that. And it changed for me as I got older too. Luckily my parents aren't as heavily religious as they claim to be, so it's not much of a problem. Plus I'm not the only kid in the family who doesn't go to church now :p
Lucky you haha. I think it was 2 years ago on new years my parents were yelling at me to go to church and I was trying to finish dinner and they went ballistic lol

Hello, for the most part I've lived my life without saying that I belong to any specific religion but just believed in being respectful to others and doing good. However, I do believe in God but I'm still searching for answers here (especially about why some people seem to be more 'blessed' in life and why some people seem to live their entire life suffering)... but I do find that having a strong faith does help provide some hope and strength to carry on during times of hardships.

I hope that whatever pain you were going through passes.

And...

This made me laugh, haha :)
? Hows that funny?
 

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@amene I just thought that part gave off a very "innocent" view of the world which is a good thing too, which made me smile and laugh upon reading it. I do mean it in a good way. :)
 

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Can pain not be transfiguring too?

If we were caterpillars before the winter months when we froze fast and died before being miraculously brought back to life as nature's will, countless times. We would die and be brought back to life. We would store food each time, but never enough to sustain ourselves. Then, on the last year of our life we'd feverishly alter our destiny for the final time as an inclination we barely understand enough to rest a will to. After the ice cleared for the final time, a metamorphosis into a beautiful moth would take place.

If you asked a butterfly, he would speak to you beyond deaths he lived through: without memory. To a butterfly, the world he knew, the time he spent as a caterpillar was short and restricted; but his ultimate destiny, the wind to lift his arms arms and carry him away. He never knew anyone to tell this to; but through his life he felt the sense to gather food for opaque reasons which seemed absurd. Their absurdity intrigued him, so he made the best of it despite adversity. As a caterpillar, he marked his life with desperation, starvation and death with brief flashes of happiness intermingled, all lost in time. A certain consiousness sustained, with an intent beyond it's gathering of food, despite his body lost in ice, the mind too, the inviolable intent towards that end, remained. The space any caterpillar spends on earth is infinitesimal compared to the vast expanse a man covers. If humans are the only ones who mark our history with any interest, why shouldn't there be someone who marks our history as we do the butterfly, who cares for us when we are sick with a heart that struggles ahead, who crafts our world as we do the butterfly's; but ultimately wouldn't change it's metamorphosis, even if it had the power to?

I allow this every day, I don't consider it particularly cruel. I could make it better, I could feed it, but however fast it ate it was damned to fall short of it's inclination throughout it's existence and destined to lose it's life. The God question interests me. I'm sorry your family clamp down on you so harshly.
 

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@amene, well most people probably wouldn't like to be compared to animals in behaviour, but sometimes the act of animals are so 'pure' because its just fully out of instinct and to survive.

Part of the lyrics from 'The Animal Song' by Savage Garden seems to say this quite nicely too I think;

"Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide"

Hope I kinda made sense :S
 

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Op's post made me remind of this.

"I feel like sometimes that I was born, that I'm not meant for this society because everyone here is a f**king hypocrite. Everybody says they believe in God but they don't do God's work. Everybody counteracts what God is really about. If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me? I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even ... They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us. But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."
 

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Reposed in awesomeness...
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They believe that God is good, but that he is good because the world is bad, and he is good because he is cruel to the world that is bad. That is why any sign of hope outside religion is so often treated by Christians and other religionists as a spit in the face of God.
Yes I have noticed a very masocistic streak in the christian fundimentalists that I know. They talk about being a slave at the disposal of God and so forth. Quite disturbing actually.

A few weeks ago my twin finally admitted he did not believe in God and my parents are pissed.
Yeah, it's strange how they get angry with people for not believing. Surely if you are on the wrong path they should pity you and try to guide you rather than getting angry about it. But the fact is that they are angry because the other persons lack of faith highlights the irrationality of their faith. So long as they are surrounded by other believers who allow them to maintain their fantasy they are happy. But when confronted with skepticism they are reminded of the fact that they have no evidence what so ever for their belief. Their world view is put into question and they are faced with an existential dilema. This threatens their mental stability and sense of self. Anger is their defense mechanism against anihilation of the ego. They may be inclinded to make ad hominem attacks to make themselves feel superior, just as bully picks on someone weaker than them. Religious fundamentalists can be some of the most spiteful and vindictive people there are.
 

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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·

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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Yes I have noticed a very masocistic streak in the christian fundimentalists that I know. They talk about being a slave at the disposal of God and so forth. Quite disturbing actually.

Yeah, it's strange how they get angry with people for not believing. Surely if you are on the wrong path they should pity you and try to guide you rather than getting angry about it. But the fact is that they are angry because the other persons lack of faith highlights the irrationality of their faith. So long as they are surrounded by other believers who allow them to maintain their fantasy they are happy. But when confronted with skepticism they are reminded of the fact that they have no evidence what so ever for their belief. Their world view is put into question and they are faced with an existential dilema. This threatens their mental stability and sense of self. Anger is their defense mechanism against anihilation of the ego. They may be inclinded to make ad hominem attacks to make themselves feel superior, just as bully picks on someone weaker than them. Religious fundamentalists can be some of the most spiteful and vindictive people there are.
Thanks for this..also I love the way you talk.
 

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I feel bad for you being surrounded by people that don't think like you, that has to be tough.
I went to a religious school, had plenty of it. Church was a social event, where people gossiped after the service. At some point, I was realized that the teachings, had affected my life, I felt guilt, with every move I made, still do!!. Burning in hell etc. What a concept to teach a first grader! Sick and twisted. Seeing a man nailed to a cross, day after day, as a child. Going to confession, and making up sins as a child, since I knew they wanted to hear something.
I am a good person, treat others well, pay taxes, would like to donate my organs after I die. I respect everyone's choice to believe in what they want. I do not follow, I take my own path. Best of luck to you.
 

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Why can't I be happy?
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I feel bad for you being surrounded by people that don't think like you, that has to be tough.
I went to a religious school, had plenty of it. Church was a social event, where people gossiped after the service. At some point, I was realized that the teachings, had affected my life, I felt guilt, with every move I made, still do!!. Burning in hell etc. What a concept to teach a first grader! Sick and twisted. Seeing a man nailed to a cross, day after day, as a child. Going to confession, and making up sins as a child, since I knew they wanted to hear something.
I am a good person, treat others well, pay taxes, would like to donate my organs after I die. I respect everyone's choice to believe in what they want. I do not follow, I take my own path. Best of luck to you.
Thanks. I agree, I'm taking my own path too.
 
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