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Is there a place in the workforce for the quiet employee?

1757 Views 11 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  Linnie48
I hear my parents and even my coworkers in the past say that social skills are a must, and I should at least try to socialize with coworkers. The coworkers I've cared to befriend are the ones where I've liked their personality and had common interests. But if I talk to them and discover we don't, then I just don't see the point.

In a fast food job I probably should've made more of an effort as I was surrounded by people my age. Now I'm in a "real job" and there is no one near me that I even care to socialize with. There are 2 guys my age in the break room that I'll try to have causal conversation with because they seem nice. The other 2 guys who sit near me around my age I cannot stand, especially the one who I actually did try to talk to during down time. They are calling the architects idiots all the time, complaining a lot, kind of know it alls. My supervisor is the same way and I don't think he likes me, though to be fair, my work ethic could use a lot of improvement. Everyone else is far older than me.

I recently got a comment that I should be more engaged which is true in some ways. I need to ask for help more instead of messing around and experimenting with the program on company time. I usually just stay quiet unless I run into someone in the break room where I will ask politely about their day. I know I have an attitude problem, but I don't like these people. I don't like hearing them constantly talk about how our clients are idiots and complain about the revisions they make. That's what being a designer is. Seems the quiet employee that just wants to be there for their time and then go home is seen as a problem, even though we don't bother anyone. What are your alls experiences with being the quiet one? Is there a place where this is seen as neutral or even good?

I also think my slight shyness is costing me job interviews. I am trying to hard to get out of this job (not hard enough though) and I usually make it to the second interview, then will never hear back
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I've been told if I don't interact with people I won't make it in the world. I've had social anxiety since I was 12 years old. I'm 48 and still have it. As a result I don't talk to people and didn't learn social skills to make friends with people so I just keep to myself. I didn't make any lifelong school friends and no lifelong work friends my age. I just can't find people who get me. And when I do meet someone when they discover I'm not what they expect they don't talk to me again.
I'm sorry to hear that, I think you can still make it in this world, but it will probably be less enjoyable without a few good friends. However, I understand. I had to rebuild social skills that I've lost over the years because my previous friend groups just fell apart, and it's hard to find people who get you. I think some people just have more common personalities and will make friends with anyone. But there are just some people I wouldn't wanna befriend at all. Mainly loud, obnoxious people who blast their ****ty rap music in public when no one else wants to hear that crap. Seems oddly specific but I worked with a lot of people like that.

I think it would do quiet people good to try to make friends really for their own sake. But that doesn't mean more outgoing people have to pull people like us aside and make it their mission to make us friends, or make us more outgoing. Like why do they even care, it's none of their business
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