[Shy extrovert]

I hear my parents and even my coworkers in the past say that social skills are a must, and I should at least try to socialize with coworkers. The coworkers I've cared to befriend are the ones where I've liked their personality and had common interests. But if I talk to them and discover we don't, then I just don't see the point.

In a fast food job I probably should've made more of an effort as I was surrounded by people my age. Now I'm in a "real job" and there is no one near me that I even care to socialize with. There are 2 guys my age in the break room that I'll try to have causal conversation with because they seem nice. The other 2 guys who sit near me around my age I cannot stand, especially the one who I actually did try to talk to during down time. They are calling the architects idiots all the time, complaining a lot, kind of know it alls. My supervisor is the same way and I don't think he likes me, though to be fair, my work ethic could use a lot of improvement. Everyone else is far older than me.

I recently got a comment that I should be more engaged which is true in some ways. I need to ask for help more instead of messing around and experimenting with the program on company time. I usually just stay quiet unless I run into someone in the break room where I will ask politely about their day. I know I have an attitude problem, but I don't like these people. I don't like hearing them constantly talk about how our clients are idiots and complain about the revisions they make. That's what being a designer is. Seems the quiet employee that just wants to be there for their time and then go home is seen as a problem, even though we don't bother anyone. What are your alls experiences with being the quiet one? Is there a place where this is seen as neutral or even good?

I also think my slight shyness is costing me job interviews. I am trying to hard to get out of this job (not hard enough though) and I usually make it to the second interview, then will never hear back

 

[Star_light]

I really hope there is somewhere for us quiet employees. There are times I wish I socialized with fellow employees but didn't, usually it'll make the shift go by faster because it breaks up the quiet moments. It's just difficult to find time to socialize and even more difficult to find people that I actually want to socialize with. I'm looking into research positions as a career because I honestly just want to be in a lab, do my work, and go home/have time to myself. But talking with someone in that field they told me that it's all about the connections you make with people, I'm not looking forward to it but it's looking like I may have to just force myself through it.

Best of luck to you with the job interviews, hope it all works out and you find a place you enjoy (or at least can tolerate) working at.

 

[aladdinsanity1]

There is definitely a place for quiet employees. Workers come in different varieties and if you are able to show value to the company, that is what matters. You don't have to be buddy buddy with co-workers, but just extending common courtesy should be enough (hello, how was your weekend, blah blah). I think where social skills are necessary is networking. You definitely need to be social to meet people in the field, keep in touch, etc. in order to build the industry relationships in case you wanted to be considered for a promotion or new job. That is what I find overwhelming.

 

[Dan the man]

Sometimes you can be surprised to find you have things in common with someone with a different personality then you.

The post above me said it very well. I think you can be quiet and still be able to command respect. But if you're interested in other tasks at work per say it can be difficult If you don't speak up

 

[pheniboner]

That's why I work from home.

 

[JH1983]

Being quiet or not doesn't matter at my job since I work alone. For your own mental health it's probably better that you are introverted here otherwise the isolation would probably get to you. Doesn't really hurt you for interviews either since companies are so desperate for drivers right now. At my company at least interviews are just a formality at this point because anyone that applies gets hired, but nobody even applies. I'm assuming it's like that everywhere by how empty the shelves are at the stores.

 

[shouldeyefallbehind]

night security and various cleaning jobs. Just make sure you have enough social skills to be competent and be able to handle certain situations.

 

[copper]

I have been blessed that my two bosses over the 27 years were introverts too so I got along with them and that is the most important. I know a few coworkers this introversion rubs them the wrong way but as long as the boss is okay with it I am not going to lose my job over it.

 

[Linnie48]

I hear my parents and even my coworkers in the past say that social skills are a must, and I should at least try to socialize with coworkers. The coworkers I've cared to befriend are the ones where I've liked their personality and had common interests. But if I talk to them and discover we don't, then I just don't see the point.

In a fast food job I probably should've made more of an effort as I was surrounded by people my age. Now I'm in a "real job" and there is no one near me that I even care to socialize with. There are 2 guys my age in the break room that I'll try to have causal conversation with because they seem nice. The other 2 guys who sit near me around my age I cannot stand, especially the one who I actually did try to talk to during down time. They are calling the architects idiots all the time, complaining a lot, kind of know it alls. My supervisor is the same way and I don't think he likes me, though to be fair, my work ethic could use a lot of improvement. Everyone else is far older than me.

I recently got a comment that I should be more engaged which is true in some ways. I need to ask for help more instead of messing around and experimenting with the program on company time. I usually just stay quiet unless I run into someone in the break room where I will ask politely about their day. I know I have an attitude problem, but I don't like these people. I don't like hearing them constantly talk about how our clients are idiots and complain about the revisions they make. That's what being a designer is. Seems the quiet employee that just wants to be there for their time and then go home is seen as a problem, even though we don't bother anyone. What are your alls experiences with being the quiet one? Is there a place where this is seen as neutral or even good?

I also think my slight shyness is costing me job interviews. I am trying to hard to get out of this job (not hard enough though) and I usually make it to the second interview, then will never hear back

I've been told if I don't interact with people I won't make it in the world. I've had social anxiety since I was 12 years old. I'm 48 and still have it. As a result I don't talk to people and didn't learn social skills to make friends with people so I just keep to myself. I didn't make any lifelong school friends and no lifelong work friends my age. I just can't find people who get me. And when I do meet someone when they discover I'm not what they expect they don't talk to me again.

 

[Shy extrovert]

I've been told if I don't interact with people I won't make it in the world. I've had social anxiety since I was 12 years old. I'm 48 and still have it. As a result I don't talk to people and didn't learn social skills to make friends with people so I just keep to myself. I didn't make any lifelong school friends and no lifelong work friends my age. I just can't find people who get me. And when I do meet someone when they discover I'm not what they expect they don't talk to me again.

I'm sorry to hear that, I think you can still make it in this world, but it will probably be less enjoyable without a few good friends. However, I understand. I had to rebuild social skills that I've lost over the years because my previous friend groups just fell apart, and it's hard to find people who get you. I think some people just have more common personalities and will make friends with anyone. But there are just some people I wouldn't wanna befriend at all. Mainly loud, obnoxious people who blast their ****ty rap music in public when no one else wants to hear that crap. Seems oddly specific but I worked with a lot of people like that.

I think it would do quiet people good to try to make friends really for their own sake. But that doesn't mean more outgoing people have to pull people like us aside and make it their mission to make us friends, or make us more outgoing. Like why do they even care, it's none of their business

 

[RSxo]

I think there's absolutely a place for you in the workforce - I know quite a few people who are just like you, and all have managed to find themselves in roles they really like!

I think it's important to distinguish between being "socially quiet" (fine to talk to people for work purposes, but not as keen on socialising), and being absolutely quiet (won't even talk to colleagues about work, even when you need their help). The first is fine - not everyone wants to do that, or is comfortable with it. Still, it's no bad thing to learn a bit of small talk, as it can make interactions with colleagues a bit more pleasant and less awkward/artificial. The second one would be more concerning, and it sounds like you've recognised that you need to work on this. The way I'd look at it, you're drawing on someone else's experience to find a solution that you don't know, which can help you to do your work better.

On interviews, they can be a really tough experience. It's quite common to not get through rounds early on even if you're a really good candidate because of what they look for, screening processes etc. Keep applying on that front and eventually an opportunity will come good. Also, I'd work on interview scenario confidence, and the best way to do that is practice!

 

[Linnie48]

I'm sorry to hear that, I think you can still make it in this world, but it will probably be less enjoyable without a few good friends. However, I understand. I had to rebuild social skills that I've lost over the years because my previous friend groups just fell apart, and it's hard to find people who get you. I think some people just have more common personalities and will make friends with anyone. But there are just some people I wouldn't wanna befriend at all. Mainly loud, obnoxious people who blast their ****ty rap music in public when no one else wants to hear that crap. Seems oddly specific but I worked with a lot of people like that.

I think it would do quiet people good to try to make friends really for their own sake. But that doesn't mean more outgoing people have to pull people like us aside and make it their mission to make us friends, or make us more outgoing. Like why do they even care, it's none of their business

I did end up making it in the world. I became independent at 22 got my own place. Went to college and graduated. Have a job that I love. I just don't get on well with otmy age. I am a old soul that only get on well with elderly people. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not just to be liked. I don't kiss people *** to be liked either. And if that means I would never have friends then so be it. Maybe someday I will find my people who will love and accept me the way I am. And what exactly is a shy extrovert.