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Caring what people think about you, or being afraid about becoming anxious? I guess they're all intertwined anyway, right?
If I "got out of my comfort zone" would my anxiety go away? There's this interesting thing I noticed. People with OCD kind of have to (or are advised to) do extreme things to destroy their obsessions. For example, I once saw that someone who had a fear of urine was told to put urine on objects in his house. Now a person with social anxiety might have to do comparably extreme things in order to get out of his/her anxiety, such as approaching random people. I don't know. It shows the brain that you are fully capable or something like that.
 

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Excelsior
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For me it is about confidence. A confident person would never fear interacting with others.
 

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No, it is about not understanding your place in the world. You are unsure of yourself and the world around you.
 

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For me different situations trigger my SA. Like at home I'm fine but at a restaurant for example my SA gets to much for me. I started taking medication and noticed that my SA was better when going outside. The more I went out the less scary it was so my brain changed going outside from a negative experience to a positive one. I wouldn't jump to far out your comfort zone but just talking small steps seems to be the way forward.
 

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yea partialy
Anxiety is an emotion, not a thought.

THAT SAID, the emotion can be reinforced from anticipation. Becoming thoughtfully confident MIGHT alleviate it, but not necessarily.

Furthermore, expecting confidence violates an individual's right to choose what risks to assume in life.
 

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I would say social anxiety is more about self esteem than self confidence.. you are fearing the judgment of others on you. it is not your performance.. if you have a solid self esteem.. you would engage people with no worries on how they judge you .. .. in any case.. may be one can say .. it is 70% self esteem and 30 % self confidence.. they are two faces of the same coin but they are still different
 

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Simon Says...
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If I "got out of my comfort zone" would my anxiety go away? There's this interesting thing I noticed. People with OCD kind of have to (or are advised to) do extreme things to destroy their obsessions.
Yep, I think that's it myself.

Having been largely successful in getting rid (for now anyway...) of the worst of my OCD through ERP (exposure and response prevention), I can say that both being anxiety disorders, they both feel very much to work the same way as far as I can see.

Much like OCD, I'm gradually breaking through when I try... and it's vital to have the right mindset and not dwell on things or bring yourself down or have thoughts that counteract the experience/exposure you're getting.

Then it gradually gets easier... but you have to keep at it, and you absolutely must realize that putting yourself into anxiety-provoking situations is the entire point. If you're trying ERP, and you go into a situation and feel fine... you haven't succeeded, you've done it completely wrong :b.

Just today I went for a haircut. I'd kind of been putting it off for a few days... never felt like quite the "right" time to do it. Went though and it wasn't bad at all. Didn't feel massive comfortable and was kinda fidgety but I managed and the silences weren't even uncomfortable either. No, I didn't say things perfectly and I don't think it went off without a hitch but nothing ever does and part of our recovery is expecting these things and accepting them as not important, not trying to prevent them entirely.

Beforehand, I also had to get some money from an ATM. I couldn't have done that like I did just a year ago probably due to the OCD. Now it feels rather natural and I'm not even holding back disgust at all.

Then as I was walking home... SA and things in general were on my mind... I did see a woman at a bus stop... and I guess my mind flicked to discussions here about talking to people at bus stops etc.
Having engaged in sometimes unnecessary conversation with the barber just minutes before, I don't know how realistic my feelings were, but I felt as though waiting for a bus and asking someone (even a woman... I have every right to speak to a woman in casual conversation and not feel like a creep) some throwaway question about the bus or some such just for exposure or social experience would have been quite within my abilities if I really wanted to.

Anxiety is an emotion, not a thought.
Yeah, that's why you gotta practice and retrain your brain not to be afraid all the time, and why thinking alone isn't enough. It's important to remember. Just because we still feel terrible doesn't mean we don't have the right thoughts, just that our thoughts can only do so much on their own.
 

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Anxiety is an emotion, not a thought.

THAT SAID, the emotion can be reinforced from anticipation. Becoming thoughtfully confident MIGHT alleviate it, but not necessarily.

Furthermore, expecting confidence violates an individual's right to choose what risks to assume in life.
this guy is awesome, his posts are always smart and straight to the point.
 
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