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i'm pretty sure i have some degree of S.A and i have kind of accepted that but i think the biggest problem is overthinking things. I wonder if others get this and if its a big part of being anxious? like if I'm out say paying for something i don't really feel myself getting nervous but i will overthink it so much in my head, i go over what i plan on saying in my head over and over until i get the counter and then it just kinda comes out oddly i guess!
 

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It sure is the biggest part of it for me. I overthink MANY things. for example, when i wish someone happy birthday (or any other holiday), The process goes like this: "Did i do everything right? oh god... did i say something wrong? why did she reply with 'oh that's so sweet, thank you!'? maybe he/she didn't really mean it? maybe he/she doesn't even like me?" next few days: "what have i done...what have i done... what have i done..."
 

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Well, yes. To me it is anyway. It mostly manifests itself as OCD in my case.
 

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I think it is, and then that usually turns into negativity. You constantly think about everything that could happen, and then you fixate on everything that could go wrong. It has definitely made me more of a pessimist.
 

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Overthinking (OCD, perfectionism, high introversion), negativity (mostly towards self) and lack of materialistic ambition (procrastination) combined creates the perfect formula for self defeat :)
 

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I'd say it is. So many people do it including myself. Always thinking and rethinking everyone's words and actions only to realise it was nothing to worry about to begin with.
 

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Overthinking (OCD, perfectionism, high introversion), negativity (mostly towards self) and lack of materialistic ambition (procrastination) combined creates the perfect formula for self defeat :)
It's scary how percisely you just described me...
 

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Yeah, rumination and perfectionism are huge components of SA. I'm pretty sure most of us here have all of this, whether we know about it or not.
 

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i'm pretty sure i have some degree of S.A and i have kind of accepted that but i think the biggest problem is overthinking things. I wonder if others get this and if its a big part of being anxious? like if I'm out say paying for something i don't really feel myself getting nervous but i will overthink it so much in my head, i go over what i plan on saying in my head over and over until i get the counter and then it just kinda comes out oddly i guess!
Yes, it's a big part. Your body responds to what you're thinking. If you're thinking anxious thoughts your body will respond with anxiety. Moreover, most people are addicted to thinking.

The key is to replace thinking with feeling and experiencing. It takes practice to learn how to stop thinking because our brains are addicted to thinking. We constantly churn out pointless useless and counter-productive thoughts.

Check out this link

http://www.find-happiness.com/how-to-stop-thinking.html
 

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absolutelty

mindfullness meditation and exercise is a BIG HELP with this! start doing it on a daily basic now!
 

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Yes.

Over thinking for us with SA often tends to be about over analyzing our few and brief encounters with people. We ( I ) can recreate and think about social interactions we had over and over again for hours and even days afterwards trying to figure out what we did right or wrong when we were with people.

For me, over thinking also often takes the form of worry about most everything; expecting the worst to happen all the time. I think that comes from failing so often at most social situations and I come to expect things to go wrong all the time so I worry myself to death.
 

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Over thinking is a huge part of anxiety in general. For example if you keep worrying (over thinking) that you may have cancer you will develop anxiety over it. Same with social anxiety - we keep over thinking that people will precieve us negatively or maybe that we said something wrong or done something wrong etc..
 

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Yes SA is about over thinking. However I find when I try to put myself in situations to get through this "over thinking", I just end up with more reasons why my over thinking is justified.

I made a post in the frustration section about it so wont go on about it here too much but take yesterday as an example. I went to the local shops, it get's me out of the house and means I have to try and socialise with the person that serves me in the shop.

Before I even got to the shop though I walked past a group of teenagers. 1 of them swore at me as I walked past and the rest started laughing.

Actually more often than not people will have unnecessary and unprovoked dig's at me, so it's hard not to over think when i'm in a situation with the very few people that won't be having a dig at me
 

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I think so. Sometimes you want to say something but you're thinking of the right moment and right way to say it. Most people, on the other hand act or speak without thinking.
 

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Yes, over thinking is a big part of it for me as well. Went through a lot of it recently and has caused me to lose sleep over the course of several days and has adversely impacted my relationship with others.

A co-worker, who became a friend, has chided me in the past for over thinking and analyzing things too much recently cut off all communication with me and I believe my over thinking was the reason. My wife could tell I was stressing out about things and the impact it was having on me.
 

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Over-thinking is the biggest part of dealing with social anxiety. I always find myself analyzing every social situation I'm in thinking about what others might have thought of me. It'll just play in my head, over and over again until it just drives me insane and I begin to have a panic attack over it. I'm trying to break myself out of that because it just leads to tremendous negativity and it's not healthy. The best thing to do is to just live in the moment. Stay in the present and forget about anything before that. The past is gone, and there it should stay. I realized I had social anxiety about 6 years ago. I'm am determined to keep trying to get better no matter how long it takes. Tomorrow I will be seeing a psychiatrist for the first time to continue on my journey on getting over this fear and I will succeed. It won't be easy but you just can't give up, I refuse for this to control my life :)
 

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It's definitely part of anxiety. You over-think and over-analyze almost everything, at least I do. Especially when I'm out in public. You wonder what everyone else is thinking, whether they're staring or thinking or talking about you, even though realistically they're probably just going about their own business and not even worrying about what you're doing. Sometimes I over-think so much, that I start believing all the scenarios I make up in my head, and I get a little confused about what's real and what's not. It can be very stressful and frustrating. You can drift away from the present at times. I'm always worrying about the future, or worrying about the past, when I should be focusing on the here and now. I've been learning that thoughts aren't facts. And you can't let those negative thoughts control you. You just have to try and over-ride all the negativity that you create inside your mind; it's by no means easy, but the more you do it, the more chances of you over-coming it and finally taking charge. :)
 

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It's scary how percisely you just described me...
Same thing i was about to say. As well as the "birthday example" you just described.

What do u do to treat that? I havent checked myself out for SA or even that but what you said is 100% me. Always felt i may have had some OCB/perfectionism years ago but never really checked that out either. But how do you, if you can, treat people with stuff like that? Is it therapy and pills?
 

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Same thing i was about to say. As well as the "birthday example" you just described.

What do u do to treat that? I havent checked myself out for SA or even that but what you said is 100% me. Always felt i may have had some OCB/perfectionism years ago but never really checked that out either. But how do you, if you can, treat people with stuff like that? Is it therapy and pills?
I personally want to use medicine as little as possible. And as for therapy it just does not make sense to me to pay someone to be a friend. But since I have not used both you better get the opinions of people who used them long enough to have an opinion. From both sides those who say they work and those who say they don't.

I believe it all comes to willpower. The temporary solution I tried was to numb myself with the computer but it makes the problem worse in the long run. The only solution to me seems to be to keep yourself busy with something useful, something productive that will benefit other people somehow.
 
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