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My whole life I've given my all for everyone else's happiness. I started believing that was my calling. That I wasn't meant to be happy.. but I've noticed more this year than any year that people repay me with hatred. My ex cheated on me when I was faithful to her, and when I reluctantly told my friend she cheated on me, he went around and told everyone which I told him not to because she asked me not to tell anyone. Now, she's been out for blood for months. I get threatening facebook messages and texts of people telling me I need to watch my back.. my parents no matter how far I get from their abusiveness, I can't escape it. They call and see how I'm doing and all they do is tell me what I should be doing. I tell my coworkers what I want to do with my life and they tell me I'll never make it to be what I want to be. I feel that I need to distance myself from everyone to get back to my healthy mindset. In order to be more social.. I need to let people in, but they bring me down at the same time. Lately when people tell me I can't do something or be somebody I want to be, I lash out at them and deliberately am mean to them. I don't like doing that but it seems the only way I can get people to leave me alone is have them be afraid of me and be afraid of telling me what they think of me.. I feel wrong doing this but at the same time I get the satisfaction of telling people to screw off when they tell me I can't be the man I want to be. Is this wrong?
 

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I don't think it's wrong as long as your plans are realistic. People have this way of discouraging those who have bigger ambitions than they have. I think it's envy. Of course by being mean you will get rejected by them but if you surround yourself with this kind people you could end up believing them and losing your confidence.
 

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Absolutely not.

Putting yourself last and others before you is actually more selfish and destructive than putting your happiness first. The reason is because when you are putting others first, you are hoping that by making them happy, they will give you love and acceptance which is actually quite selfish.

NEVER sacrifice your own happiness and freedom for somebody else's. This is unnecessary and dangerous to your health.

I posted this in another thread about a girl finding it hard to say "no" to people:

It's a self worth thing. When you value you yourself more, you put yourself first and aren't afraid to say no. You are trying to get value from others so you put your needs and desires last in hopes that if you fulfill someone else's, they will love and approve of you.

Learning how to say 'no' is one of the best things you can do for yourself because it chips away the subconscious mind's need for approval from others. The more you say no to others, the more you will love and value yourself. It takes some consciousness because most people find themselves saying 'yes' to others without even thinking about it so the best you can do is value and love yourself so that you don't feel as much pressure in these situations and are able to be more conscious of them when they occur.
 
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