I often wish that I could just accept that being social, making friends and dating is just too difficult for me and so I'm not going to try and do those things anymore. The problem is that I have a hard time believing it's possible for me to be alone and be happy. I was just wondering if anyone of you thinks is it possible to be almost completely alone and somehow still live a happy life? If anyone has some suggestions on how to do this, I'd be interested in reading them. Thanks!
I tried it. I reasoned with myself that despite how much I wanted to be with people, I was obviously getting stressed by being with them, so if I wanted to get rid of the stress, the obvious solution was to remove myself from those stressful situations.
It was horrible. Every day felt worse and worse, all I could think about was how bitter I was at society for forcing me out, then about how lonely I was and if I had made a mistake. I kept swinging back and forth on those thoughts, and even though I believed I was doing the right thing, that I was headed in the right direction for once, the question kept ringing in my mind.
Is this what you really want?
First my answer was yes, then no, then yes, then no, and eventually I thought I was going to crazy. I kept thinking if I had someone to talk it out with and figure it out, it'd be done with. But that would mean I need to find someone and put myself back into socializing.
Eventually, an old friend called me and asked if I wanted to hang out. I refused, but called hours later, telling myself that if I didn't like the situation, I could always just leave. Nobody was stopping me from leaving any social situation whenever I wanted. After meeting up with him, though, I just broke down and it was like everything I was holding in during those weeks just poured out of me. I really did need someone to talk to.
As humans, we're social beings. We need each other, even if we don't want to believe it. If you really feel you must separate from your social life, then perhaps it would be better to simply look for one elsewhere. Or take a breather when you feel it's too much. Ultimately, your happiness is more important than anything, so take any means for it.