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That's sad. :( I hope you feel better. I don't have any advice although I don't think that God is punishing you. What should you do? Take care of yourself and maybe see a therapist, doctor, or a minister of some sort. Times like that I usually read the book of Job, for some reason it's comforting all of the poetry in it. Those are just things that help me anyway.

:hug
 

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Whiteclouds,

I don't think God is punishing you, either. In fact, this may be something to draw you, your sister, and your mother closer together. For you specifically, it's a growth experience.

At the same time, why not check out some spiritual guidance from a church. It will give you a faith lift, not to mention extra voices in prayers.
 

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I don't think that God is punishing you. I've thought that myself in my own life at times. I think sometimes God allows us to experience our weaknesses, knowing that they will bring troubles into our lives. But, I think that the weaknesses are there in order to help us to grow, and all of the while I believe His love is there and that He cares more about us than we can imagine. I am very sorry about your mom, that must be very scary. None of us live a moral enough life, and not everyone experiences the things you have, so I don't think that punishment is what is going on. It's hard for me to answer this because I have had similar guilt feelings in my life. Greater than those feelings though, is a belief that God is more love than condemnation.
 

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God has created all that is good.

Thus, he did not create death. Death was created when Adam ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge.

Anything evil or horrible that happens is not the work of God. It is the work of mankind. Therefore, God is not punishing you.

Best of luck with your problems and God bless you.
 
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