[dax]

I'm really not shy- extreme anxiety is my issue. I think people think I'm shy because I will avoid them and not talk to them but it's because I'm anxious out of my mind and can't think straight or talk right (i.e. slur, trip over words, blank mind etc) I don't know about the shyness but I become so anxious I am almost incapable of performing the simplest tasks or just being in the situation. I also experience a lot of side effects from my anxiety like muscle spasms in my digestive tract that can become excruciatingly painful and uncomfortable and even blurry vision. I know it's because of anxiety because it never happens when I'm at home alone, only when I am in a state of increased anxiety, mainly at work. I go through this every day at my job- by the end of the day I have been through so much stress and anxiety that I literally become almost incapable of speech or thought and sometimes even just walking straight without losing my balance becomes tough. I was a lot more shy and a lot less anxious in HS and I can honestly say the shyness was a lot easier to deal with. Do you also suffer from anxiety or just shyness?

 

[dax]

I have anxiety as well. The reason I asked if anyone here is shy is because there's a difference between shyness and social anxiety. Some social anxiety sufferers can still talk to people, perform jobs that deal with the public, etc. If I worked in a store I literally could not walk up to a customer and ask if I could help them. If I ever need help I cannot ask anyone.

I have found myself screwed on a number of occassions simply because I could not speak up. I was once mistakenly marked absent at a class in college and could not say something as simple as "I'm here." I remember the girl sitting next to me gave me a strange look because I didn't say anything. Not even after class when everyone was leaving could I go let the professor know what happened. There have been times when papers would be passed out and I wouldn't get one and could not say so. Someone would say that I need one and then I'd get a strange look for not saying so myself.

I would come to tears if a teacher ever asked to speak to me after class.

Last year I was at a dinner theater and a server walked by with a plate and asked if anyone at the table was having it. I said me but she didn't hear me and walked away. When she walked by again a complete stranger at the table actually spoke for me, and the people I went there with were like 'What the hell? You need to speak up.'

There was once a time when I was sick and felt like I needed medical care but I was too shy to call any doctor or go to the hospital. I'm so pathetic I'd probably let myself drop dead on my kitchen floor before I'd ever pick up the phone and call 911.

I could be doped up on benzos and feel calm in the sense that I'm not having a massive panic attack, but I would still be incapable of talking. I suppose the thing to do would be to at least ask my shrink if there is any medication that actually reduces shyness... but I'm too shy to ask. Sometimes I have to laugh inside at suggestions he makes to me regarding other things because I'm thinking, 'Have you noticed that I DON'T TALK?!'

Sorry for such a long post.

I can relate to what you're saying- I was like this a long time ago through middle and high school. It's been a while but I do remember how agonizing it can be to not be able to speak your mind or just take part in conversation. How does your anxiety affect your shyness? Do you have a harder time dealing with the shyness than the anxiety? I think we are both going through the same thing for different reasons- wanting to talk but just can't. Have you have tried Ritalin? That can make you talkative. It has some crappy side effects tho. Do you feel like you can't work because of your shyness? I feel like I won't be able to continue working because of my SA. It's really starting to take a toll on me and it's becoming harder and harder every day to get by at my job.

 

[dax]

Isn't being painfully shy a part of social anxiety? To me it's the same thing.

Not necessarily- I have anxiety but I don't consider myself shy. I'm generally outgoing and like to socialize but I get uncontrollably anxious in social situations.

 

[dax]

A shyness reducing medication would be great, but it's no surprise if it's impossible to get it. It sucks that the medications that work the best are the ones that are the hardest to get. Maybe I should start drinking. I remember senior week at college I got a little tipsy and I was actually more social. I think I surprised quite a few people.

Drinking always works for me. Too bad when I am drunk and anxiety free I always end up making an *** out of myself in some way or another.