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Awhile ago I realized that while I'm always told I'm good looking, but am too shy to hit on girls that I can "get" girls online through sites like Myyearbook, because somehow I've worked out a system where meeting up girls I first met online is easier than hitting on girls in "real life" While this has been for the most part successfull and convenient I realize it is an unrealistic way of hooking up with girls, so I've deleted the site, and although I don't miss the internet dating I have not really pushed myself to go after girls that are right in front of me, so should I just continue hooking up with girls online while I work on meeting girls in front of me or is it necessary that I stop meeting girls from the internet in order to start dating regular? (Safety not an issue)
 

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Full circle, new highway
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Awhile ago I realized that while I'm always told I'm good looking, but am too shy to hit on girls that I can "get" girls online through sites like Myyearbook, because somehow I've worked out a system where meeting up girls I first met online is easier than hitting on girls in "real life" While this has been for the most part successfull and convenient I realize it is an unrealistic way of hooking up with girls, so I've deleted the site, and although I don't miss the internet dating I have not really pushed myself to go after girls that are right in front of me, so should I just continue hooking up with girls online while I work on meeting girls in front of me or is it necessary that I stop meeting girls from the internet in order to start dating regular? (Safety not an issue)
I met my wife seven months ago through Myspace karaoke. Prior to that I had met about four other people online for a date in person. It is possible, even though so many discourage it.
 

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:No Worries:
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I met my wife on Hot or Not about 9 years ago... lol

Yes its possible, you just gotta get lucky. :D
 

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i understand what you mean about considering it a crutch.... but i wonder if maybe people like us with SA overthink it because we have SA and it seems EXTRA lame to us, like we're coping out. my super-social and confident friend who goes out a lot and meets new people all the time met her current fiance online. so... i mean.. i think its like a lot of things in life - it is what you make of it
 

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I've met a lot of girls online, including my ex-girlfriend. Nothing wrong with it. It's an easy way to break the ice, plus, you get to find out information about the person before you approach him\her. Why do you say it's an unrealistic way of hooking up with girls?
 

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When people say they met 'online', in what form do they usually mean? Chatrooms? forums? dating match websites? myspace?

I tried the dating websites a few years ago, but I never got any replies. It was a total waste of money. I did meet a girl in an msn chatroom 10 years ago, who I dated for three years in real life, but she's the only one. I really feel like I was lucky to meet her online, it still feels like a fluke to me. She isn't even a chat room kind of person, she was just playing around on there at just the right time for me to meet her.

I've tried meeting other women in chatrooms since then, but I've had no luck. You have to talk to A LOT of women just to find one who seems normal enough to date in person. To be brutally honest, I don't think the odds are in our favor when it comes to internet dating (unless you get really lucky). I feel like most of the people I've met who spend huge amounts of time online in chatrooms or whatever, are doing so because something isn't quite right in their life....they have some kind of emotional problem. I would rather find someone who is living a balanced healthy life. (Ironic huh?).
 

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If it helps you to get out and meet people in real life I can't see a problem with that, it sure as hell would beat sitting around the house doing the same old thing every day.

I did the chatroom thing several years ago but got tired of them, it was too much work just to get a few people to chat with me. I've been so bored lately though I've been thinking about trying it again or maybe a friendship/dating site.
 

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A lot of the people I've dated I've met from the internet. I've had good experiences and bad experiences. I've come out with a few good friends along the way too, so I don't consider it bad. Although, if someone were to ask me where I met "so and so" I'd feel weird telling them we met through the internet. I guess I personally view it as a weakness or a crutch, because it seems like it shows I can't meet anyone face-to-face. I guess, I think people view it as the same way and I feel ashamed about it. Maybe I am wrong? It's not something I'd give up because I've met some great people that way.
 

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dating sites are not for me eventhough their are buffers for one another I just wasnt lucky enough to meet anyone.
 

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I have not really pushed myself to go after girls that are right in front of me, so should I just continue hooking up with girls online while I work on meeting girls in front of me or is it necessary that I stop meeting girls from the internet in order to start dating regular? (Safety not an issue)
You should utilise any avenue available to you, whether that be online and offline. By staying off the internet because of some perceived stigma, you are by default limiting your opportunities. A date is a date is a date.
 

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I guess I must be getting played for a sucker when it comes to online dating. It always felt like I can't make a connection with anyone, because I don't have the skills to meet women in real life.

And I keep hearing how easy it is to get a hookup on these sites, when at least 9 out of 10 profiles of women say "long term relationship" and "nothing casual." Are there really a lot of these women just putting up a front for appearances?

Also, I can't comprehend that women actually sleep with guys who randomly make a pass at them on Myspace. I mean, I probably don't have any chances anyway, but again, I just don't see it. Maybe I just haven't tried very hard.
 

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Full circle, new highway
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My wife was about to dismiss me just like the countless other guys on Myspace but she listened to one of my songs on Karaoke, got interested, looked at my profile, got even more interested, and then messaged me, and got ultimately interested after we started messaging back and forth.

So, it all has to do with how God has brought it together and both people going with it, or not. In the end, you can't change yourself for anyone. I didn't try to be someone I wasn't, even though I had been in the past. I accepted that I am who I am and someone will just have to accept me as is. I stubbornly approached relationships the same way and it worked out for the best in the end. It had been a very, very tough and painful road prior to this though but it all became worth it.
 

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mmm... donuts
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If internet dating is working for you, why stop? I didn't get very far with it when I tried. I'm still not sure how I would explain my lack of dating experience.
 

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I'd say don't use it as a crutch. It's good to keep things more open and have those possibilities there so if ever you were in the situation where you would approach a girl you liked in real life you could do it without having to rely on the internet as the sole provider for the repettoire of all your dating experiences.

By and large though the internet provides great opportunity to meet people you otherswise wouldn't coincidentally 'bump' into in real life. it just expands the scope a little.
 

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I met my boyfriend online, I never tell anyone that. He sent a message asking me if shortbread is easy to make haha. When I feel less shy I'll go out and meet people in real life but for now this is what's working for me.
 

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If internet dating is working for you, why stop? I didn't get very far with it when I tried. I'm still not sure how I would explain my lack of dating experience.
likewise, i just couldn't seem to make it work. I was on speaking terms with a few girls but it never went beyond that, they seem to get bored really quickly (with 3 emails or so) then i never hear from them again. Must just be me :|
 

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I met a few great girls online through OKCupid. Though our relationships didn't work out all too well, that's just something you have to chalk up to dating in general. I love the whole online dating services and think it's a great thing for people who are anxious or just don't have the time to find someone.
 

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How about this..... I consider internet dating an exact oppositte of a dating "cruch", if you are succeeding with dating, through the internet.
 

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i understand what you mean about considering it a crutch.... but i wonder if maybe people like us with SA overthink it because we have SA and it seems EXTRA lame to us, like we're coping out. my super-social and confident friend who goes out a lot and meets new people all the time met her current fiance online. so... i mean.. i think its like a lot of things in life - it is what you make of it
I agree. If online dating works for you, you should be happy. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
 

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You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. The internet is simply a community of people. Some websites help you meet these people and get to know them for yourself. There's nothing ridiculous or bad about this, it's just a new-ish thing, and some people are bound to get upset and say the old way (this time it's hitting on girls) is the only "normal" way to meet people. But no, internet dating sites aren't a crutch.
 
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