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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys, so I am an 18 year old guy from India and will be graduating from school in 3 months.

Throughout my school life I have been friends with the most popular people in my school. As a result I was invited to a lot of parties where you know the usual random hook ups and socialising would take place. However, from middle school itself I found out that I am extremely awkward around people. I would not start a conversation with girls, on the other hand my friends, being extroverts, would hook up, ask girls out etc. This is why most people in my school literally refer to me as an 'enigma'.

This social awkwardness slowly made me isolated in school and I began being invited to lesser and lesser and events. There was even this really cute (one of the cutest in the school) girl who overtly showed that she like me, but I did not even have the confidence to do anything.

I don't know why I am like this, perhaps because my parents are indifferent or because I have issues with the way I look. I now find it hard to make new friends, and I realised that the only reason I am still friends with those popular people is because most of them are my childhood mates.

I will most probably be going to the US for higher studies and I really don't want to be the socially awkward and lonely. I need to find ways to become outgoing and more confident. So any people here who have gone through the same thing and overcome it? And advise for me?

Thanks!
 

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I'm in a fairly similar situation as you as far as the awkwardness goes. Hardly anyone if not no one thinks I struggle with social anxiety issues. On the contrary they just think I'm aloof and picky n prefer not to talk to many people. Although this couldn't be any further from the truth. I guess I'm not the best person to be advising you cause I'm yet to overcome sa myself but I think you need to understand how you were so social before n what is keeping you from being that way again. Look through some other threads, there's plenty of great advice out there. Good luck :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Just like you, I try to convince myself that I more of an independent person, more aloof as you would say. But then I realise, that over my entire high school I have never really made any lifelong friends and it really hurts. Childhood friends are extroverts and so I don't see myself hanging out with them all the time, since it would seriously depress me. But what I am really worried about is going to college in a completely different country, I don't know how I'm going to make any friends or do any socializing. I also talk softly so it gives people the impression that I am meek.

Anyways, are you in college? If so how was the adjustment? Any better than school?
 

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If you build up the confidence now college can be a great experience cause everybody is new and open to friendships- atleast at first. Join clubs, play sports, volunteer, just be up and about and don't
let yourself be holed up in your room. And I don't understand that thing upto you not wanting to be friends with extroverts. If you want to socialise and go out often then having social friends is a bonus as it makes things easier.
I'm in medical school now and I had a great time in first year, almost as if I transformed into the person I always wanted to be, but eventually by the end of first year I let my anxiety get the better of me and its almost as if I keep switching from forcibly isolating myself to behaving "normally" socially (bipolar?) nevertheless it's not that hard to change, confidence and positive thinking is key. Don't let sa ruin a great experience for you.
 

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Welcome, Vekbat! :)
 
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