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I am not a good writer, so this will probably be a bit messy to read, but I just have to let it out.

Ok, I don't know if it's just me or a general SA thing.
I tend to fall in love very easily, I can actually fall in love with a person if they just speak kind to me, and treat me fair.

I have had this "crush" or actually I feel like I am in love, with this girl, for about 4 moths or so.

I never knew her until last summer when we got in our new class together, but I seriously dont recall her AT ALL from the 6 months, since I was too busy trying to act cool and look good for all my new classmates.

THen in winter time, we are split into groups for some schoolwork, and I manage to make her laugh and talk a bit of small talk, but only about school and stuff, ever since this day, I've been secretly in love with her.

She has a boyfriend, but I know deep inside (not trying to brag) that she would change him for me, if I just started talking to her.

We look at eachother SO goddamn much in school, that it's unbearable, almost whenever I quickly look to her side in class I see her staring at me.

Now we got personal seats in class though, this means that I am sitting IN FRONT of her, and I am too goddamn shy to turn around and speak to her a bit, I think I unwillingly pretend that I dont give a **** about her, even though inside I just want to turn around and tell her how much I want her, and still everytime I just turn my head a bit to speak to a good friend of mine, i can see in the corner of my eye, her trying to lean against the wall and towards me for me to see her or something.

DOes anyone have any idea what I could do and how I should approach her and talk to her about this, hell even when I'm drunk I cant talk to her, even though my anxiety pretty much goes away whenever I drink.

I know that my feelings of her are somewhat the same as she feels for me, but I think she is disappointed that I dont speak to her.. And I am also so disappointed of myself.

I keep thinking I have 2 more years to get her, but I dont know how this would ever change. And I am afraid that she will eventually give up on me, but I know she finds me interesting still, and I HAVE to do something.

I only have good things to say about her, she looks better than average, she treats EVERYBODY great, she is social but not "over the top" or what you can say and yea..

I do another weird thing, I log onto facebook occasionally to see if she's online and check out her wall, see if there's anything interesting, but when I see her online I feel this weird pressure, that if she logs off a while after i log on, maybe she is not interested in me, so actually, I log off withing 5 minutes, enough for her to see my online status, and then log off to show her that i "dont care if she's online"
Well actually I'm proud of myself, I had a good day a couple of weeks ago so I commented her in class, on something she posted on facebook about how she dropped her phone in a yoghurt..
I asked her sarcastically "okay, (her name) first you lost your phone in the toilet and now in your ****ing yoghurt (with a smile on my face ofc) and i was able to make her laugh, but then I went straight back to negative thoughts, about how she must think I'm stalking her facebook page, for me to know that.

I see where this is going if I dont open up to her soon.. and thats nowhere..

Ok this got very long and probably sounds amazingly stupid, but these are all just feelings I had to put out to you guys, and I hope some of you have some good advice, maybe about how i can start off slowly by turning around to her in class some more, and maybe speak to her a bit, but I am a very ****ed up individual when it comes to social situations especially with girls... :blank
 

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Aww it must be love , tell her you'll give her a date if she dumps her bf.

Haha nah jk a lot of people on here go all swooney when someone treats them really nicely so i've read, prolly an SA thing.
 

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:yes That is so sweet! You are a hopeless romantic just like me. I know what you mean! If someone just looks my way, communicates with me, I make them laugh and vice versa, spend time with me... I'm in love. I think it's because of the attention they give us and how they make us feel (loved, wanted). I'm going through the same thing so I'm in no position to give you advice. I've liked this guy for 6 FREAKING years.
 

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She has a boyfriend. Too bad for her. :(
 
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