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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The tone of my voice and the volume at which I speak have long been a huge problem in my life that has time and time again been brought up or has brought frustrating and humiliating feelings for me. I suspect I might be deaf in one ear so that might explain it but I have for most of my life if not all been told I speak too loud, too soft, too deep.

I don't pronounciate when I speak and I talk to much and never get to the point of what I'm saying. I have had people in stores constantly ask me excuse me what did you say or speak up or say say that again, It makes me feel like I'm such an idiot and I become embarrassed and feel depressed because I feel like I am the only person who does this.

Because of this and because of my own emotional overdrive I let all this pent up rage come out at the guy in the store (see my thread for details) I let my own humiliation get the best of me.

I clearly know I said Egg Salad Sandwhich just like I clearly remember saying today Two Baked Pies. Clearly I spoke up as loud as I could but again I did not ask for what I know I said I asked for the first time.

This time I took the lessons I learned from here and I applied them to when I went out again, This time there was a much pleasant and calm exchange between me and the person serving me.

McDonald's.

Me: Taking a deep breath clearly speaking up Good Evening, Yes I'd like to order a number 1 no upgrade on the fries and two baked apple fries.

Girl: You say number one?

Me: Stumbles abit yes number one combo

Girl: Rings me up anything else?

Me: No that is all Thank you very much

2 Minutes later: Big Mac Combo and fries

Me: Hi Sorry could I get two baked peach pies please?

Girl: Peach or Apple?

Me: Peach please and oh I thought that I had paid for the two peach pies earlier as well.

Girl: You didn't ask for peach pies earlier, that will be 1.46.

Me: Paying her haha yeah good thing I remembered now thanks. Have a nice day. It still depressed me though that I couldn't even talk properly and that I screwed up and I'm wondering if she thinks I'm some kind of moron for not making my order clear and my voice bothers me and I think she's thinking he's weird and yeah got all these thoughts through my head.

I need some advice about speaking and in the case of this thread getting to the point. Even this thread is embarrassing me cause I know that people might look at it and think Geeze dude shut up or geeze dude this post is so long why do you have to ramble on get to the point. :( Yeah things like that bother me so much.
 

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is getting over herself
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do you have a way to record your own voice?

do that. in private, of course. I know, it will feel all cringey and horrible, but I think this is the best way to start to get a handle on this problem.

and for crying out louder, give yourself a break. You just started tackling this thing, give yourself some time to deal with it, it won't change overnight.

Listen to your voice, and just ignore the inner voice saying "I sound like ****". get past that, and just think of it objectively. compare your emphasis, your tone, your enunciation to that of a news announcer, for example. Think about what's lacking in your voice, and how you would like it to sound.
Keep practicing. In private, make what you would consider a loud sound, for you. Record it, and see how loud it really sounds. I'll bet it's not as loud as you think it is. Record yourself talking at what you consider a normal volume. Play it back, and see just how loud it really is.
Keep doing this. For things to change, it takes practice. after all, you've been talking in a way that you don't like for how long? Give it a couple of weeks of every day practice and then see where you are with it.
And keep practicing in stores, fast food places, etc. Try to look at this like a scientist - you are doing research (which actually you are, to find out what works and what doesn't). Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I just went ahead now and recorded my voice for a friend on FB. When I listen to myself on play back. I hear this very deep but boyish sounding South African Accent and I wonder if my accent is what my real problem is. If people have a hard time understanding me cause I speak with an accent.

It booms but yet comes off boyish yet when I hear myself I sound completely different to my ears then what I hear when I play my voice back to me. I hear a voice that sounds Canadian born and raised.

That has no trace of an accent that's why I use to think I could sing because when I sang what came out sounded like George Michael to me but I played back a recording of myself singing and well it sounded nothing at all like him and it was heavy on an accent. Was so embarrassed.
 

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is getting over herself
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no one's voice sounds the same to them recorded, as what they hear in their own heads. when I hear my own voice played back to me, it sounds not at all like what I hear in my head. I like the voice I hear in my head, and detest the one I hear recorded. I guess it's something you just have to get used to.

If you do have an accent that's South African, then I am not surprised that people are asking you to repeat yourself.

I had an interview the other day, and one of the guys that interviewed me is in fact from South Africa. I had to say "excuse me?" a couple of times. I just couldn't understand him. If he'd spoken a little slower, it probably would have been fine, so that may be something for you to consider. good for you for doing something to evaluate your voice so quickly!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Ha Ha I guess we South African's are like the wind or voices rush right past you lol. :D The truth being I watch tv shows and I'll mimic the tone and the body language of that person when they are talking and I never quite project my voice the way they can, then again they are using Mics. I just talk and I don't see other people in the stores having to prepare their voice to talk they make it look so natural.

Thank you so much for your advice, just like in my other thread you are so kind and thoughtful and I appreciate your reaching out to me and your support. :D Yes I really want to learn how to speak so that people even my own grandmother and mother ask don't keep asking me What did you say, can you repeat that.
 

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I'd suggest looking into books on singing. Roger Love's got a pretty good one called Set Your Voice Free. Learning to sing can help give you a lot of control over the subtle aspects of your voice, as well as help instill confidence in your ability to project.
 
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