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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
You are in a club alone sitting at a table. You are feeling very lonely and depressed. You look across the room and this young lady is smiling at you and waving you to the dance floor. You get all excited thinking this is your big chance to meet someone. You get up, put a big smile on your face and slowly make your way to the dance floor. As you approach her you suddenly notice that she is not looking at you but the guy behind you. All this time she was noticing someone else, not you. You return to your seat red faced and embarassed. Has anyone experienced this before? I have and it is not a good feeling indeed.
 

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She-Wolf
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i have not, but pretty much every time someone looks at me or addresses me, i look behind me to see whether it's to someone else. i'd say 1/5 of the time it ends up being me but i don't want to risk embarrassing myself if it isn't to me. i even do that if i'm at a party for example and someone says 'hi' or waves to me.
 

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I've experienced a similar kind of thing. Last yr i was in town, and not far down the road was my DT teacher. I was always quiet in class and we didn't talk much. I looked at him, and he started waving and smiling, so i waved back to him and smiled. As i got closer, i realised that he wasn't waving to me, but someone behind me. He looked at me as to say, wow, you've changed.. twas abit embarassing.
 

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I eat lunch in this open park area every day. I went thru a week of speaking back to people who weren't actually waving to me in the first place. The worse is that there was this lady that was there every time it happened. LOL I just keep my head down now.
 

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I used to experience it, until I learned to make sure I was the one being addressed or waved to or called to. It saves a lot of embarrassment.
 

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You are in a club alone sitting at a table. You are feeling very lonely and depressed. You look across the room and this young lady is smiling at you and waving you to the dance floor. You get all excited thinking this is your big chance to meet someone. You get up, put a big smile on your face and slowly make your way to the dance floor. As you approach her you suddenly notice that she is not looking at you but the guy behind you. All this time she was noticing someone else, not you. You return to your seat red faced and embarassed. Has anyone experienced this before? I have and it is not a good feeling indeed.
I've experienced that a few times in my life. Makes me feel like Mr Bean.

The thing is though, you are meant to just shrug that off and move on with your life almost instantly, because although it feels bad, it's really so tiny and irrelevent. Pondering over it does no good.
 

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I eat lunch in this open park area every day. I went thru a week of speaking back to people who weren't actually waving to me in the first place. The worse is that there was this lady that was there every time it happened. LOL I just keep my head down now.
lol thats so cute >.< BUT

 

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This happened to me at the airport. When I was coming off of the plane, some girl was smiling and looking right at me. I was about to say hi, but then she kept looking past me to the person right behind me. Thankfully, I didn't say anything, lol.
 

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I've done a similar type thing. I was shopping at a campus bookstore where i previously had a lengthy conversation with a worker a few months back. At that time he told me to come back often and say hello. He was a nice guy, but I wasn't really interested, mostly due to social anxiety. Well i went to the campus store again for some books. Right after i paid for my books, i was about to leave the store when i saw they guy at the exit door looking in my direction. He was smiling and waving hello with his hands. I sort of wanted to ignore him cuz there were a lot of people behind me on line, but i didn't want to be rude, so i managed to give him a head nod to acknowledge him. Right after doing so, i realized he was waving to the person right behind me. I was extremely embarrassed at the time, especially since there were a lot of people in the store, but now i realize its no big deal. Anyone can make that mistake and its better to do that than to be rude. After all, nobody even noticed my head nod, not even the guy waving.
 

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I've had a girl from my class at the time wave enthusiastically at me and I waved back at her and smiled.. then I realized she was waving to the person behind me. I don't think either of them noticed but I never forgot about it for some reason. It's not like it matters a lot.. I know there are other people out there who have liked (or like) me.
 

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I think I've had that happen to me a couple times (on the bus...i think, there was this chick I knew who was waving at me -- turns out shes waving to the chick behind me) but if you just ignore it everyone ignores it i guess...well, I hope lol.
 

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I've experienced that a few times in my life. Makes me feel like Mr Bean.

The thing is though, you are meant to just shrug that off and move on with your life almost instantly, because although it feels bad, it's really so tiny and irrelevent. Pondering over it does no good.
Oh yeah, it totally sucks when this happens but you gotta learn to not let it get to you.

I remember one time this cute girl said hi to me as we passed. I looked all around to make sure she was talking to me and by the time I realized it was indeed me she was talking to she was too far away to hear me say hi back.

So in my opinion it's better to roll the dice and take that plunge. Worst comes to worst you'll get the opportunity to learn how to shake it off and move on.

I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone. Even people who don't have SA can probably relate. If it wasn't directed to you, chances are the person extending the greeting would understand.
 

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PreciousGleamingMcNugget
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I never assume anyone is trying to communicate with me. They almost never are.

Sometimes, even if I do realize they're talking to me, I pretend to ignore it. I do this when I feel too awkward to "all the sudden" realize they were talking to me, so I just...finish out the scene.
 

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Oh yeah, it totally sucks when this happens but you gotta learn to not let it get to you.

I remember one time this cute girl said hi to me as we passed. I looked all around to make sure she was talking to me and by the time I realized it was indeed me she was talking to she was too far away to hear me say hi back.

So in my opinion it's better to roll the dice and take that plunge. Worst comes to worst you'll get the opportunity to learn how to shake it off and move on.

I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone. Even people who don't have SA can probably relate. If it wasn't directed to you, chances are the person extending the greeting would understand.
Yep! In a way I like to be open and welcoming, even if it makes me feel a fool. There's just something about it I prefer.

I remember one time when I was in a group of people and one of them complemented me on something. As he got up to leave, I put my hand out to shake his hand, but he didn't notice me and he just walked off and everyone else saw me stood there with my hand out. I was so embarassed but when I think back about it, I'd rather be the guy who acnowledges people and shakes peoples hands than the guy who doesn't.
 

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This happens to everyone I think but people with SA aren't large on the connections side, so they will be more likely not be the one called upon.

I solved this by waiting a few moments to think about the situation and the context of it if I think I'm called upon. 80% of the time I can make out whether or not it is me being called upon, because I didn't follow my gut reaction to respond, but gave myself a second to think.
 

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Yep! In a way I like to be open and welcoming, even if it makes me feel a fool. There's just something about it I prefer.

I remember one time when I was in a group of people and one of them complemented me on something. As he got up to leave, I put my hand out to shake his hand, but he didn't notice me and he just walked off and everyone else saw me stood there with my hand out. I was so embarassed but when I think back about it, I'd rather be the guy who acnowledges people and shakes peoples hands than the guy who doesn't.
When you put it into perspective, what's worse: feeling foolish for responding to a greeting that wasn't directed at you, or feeling bad because you "ignored" someone who was indeed extending themselves to you? That's how I like to look at it.

After that girl passed me I felt terrible that she probably thought I snubbed her. I actually would rather have mistakenly said hi back to her when she was really talking to someone else. I'd rather risk feeling foolish then risk feeling like a jerk.
 

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I never assume anyone is trying to communicate with me. They almost never are.

Sometimes, even if I do realize they're talking to me, I pretend to ignore it. I do this when I feel too awkward to "all the sudden" realize they were talking to me, so I just...finish out the scene.
I think I used to do that too, wow to survive lunch through 6th-10th grade I noticed I gained some deep people avoiding skills hardwired into me.
 

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This kind of thing happens to EVERYONE at least once. People with SA are just much more likely to be embarrassed by it and remember it longer.

It's happened to me a few times, but I like to think that the person waving at (not) me has experienced the same thing and it probably won't make a lasting impression on them.
 

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When you put it into perspective, what's worse: feeling foolish for responding to a greeting that wasn't directed at you, or feeling bad because you "ignored" someone who was indeed extending themselves to you? That's how I like to look at it.

After that girl passed me I felt terrible that she probably thought I snubbed her. I actually would rather have mistakenly said hi back to her when she was really talking to someone else. I'd rather risk feeling foolish then risk feeling like a jerk.
Thats a really good point :)

This also happens when someones talking on the phone and you don't realize and think there talking to you..
 
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