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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not loud and I get nervous and shy but I do talk!! I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I can't stand people saying this to me all the time. It makes me dislike them. And it MAKES me self conscious. I was sat in the staff room, I was talking to two guys I was sat next to and joining in with the general conversation where I had something to say. When I went back to work someone said they didn't realise I was working today and I was like... I just saw you in the staff room... and she's like it must be because you're SO quiet. What the ****? And I've been seeing a guy I work with and his friend had thought I'd quit because I've not seen her in a while and he's like saying it's because I'm quiet. So basically I don't talk enough therefore I don't exist. It really makes me sick with myself and with people because... I can't understand. Now I feel really depressed today just because of things like this.
 

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I know but you can't let it get you down. I've got this for years and had to hear it over and over. Now I get it on occasion. They may be the ones who are too loud. People scream and yell a lot so they get used to it then walk all over the quiet ones. We are still people but I know what you mean because I let little remarks like that get me down all day long.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know, I do let it get me down though and I can't just tell myself just don't think about it because then I still deal with it internally and turn to different things to suppress it that aren't good for me.

And I'm NOT that quiet that's what I don't understand. I don't know why I get singled out.. I even had a friend say once she doesn't understand why people say I'm quiet. When I was in the room I was noticing who participates how much. One guy was sat in the corner on his own not talking to anyone. The woman I mentioned didn't say much at all, there was maybe one or two people keeping the conversation going and everyone else just chipped in. I don't just shut myself off from people... even though they make me want to right now.
 

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I can relate, it's like people want you to squawk or something.

Sometimes people just don't want to pointlessly talk for the hell of it is what they need to understand.
 

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I know-people always call em quiet-anytime i'm in a new place like a class i EXPECT someone to eventually to call me that no matter how much i hope they don't-finally i realized it's because I am quiet-I mean I do talk occasionally, but's painfully aparent I guess to people how much I don't share with people
 

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I often wonder if my teachers from middle school and high school will still remember me after ten years or so because I was so quiet.. I was "the quiet one".. But I think the only real reason people actually noticed me was because of my art skills which always seemed to attract some people..
 

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I know exactly what you're saying! I'm not that quiet either and yet people always refer to me as the "quiet one" no matter how much I talk. I don't freaking get it! How much do you have to talk to not be considered quiet?!!!
 

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I think it might be because you are pretty; people expect pretty people to be very outgoing and the center of attention.
 

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I'm not loud and I get nervous and shy but I do talk!! I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I can't stand people saying this to me all the time. It makes me dislike them. And it MAKES me self conscious. I was sat in the staff room, I was talking to two guys I was sat next to and joining in with the general conversation where I had something to say. When I went back to work someone said they didn't realise I was working today and I was like... I just saw you in the staff room... and she's like it must be because you're SO quiet. What the ****? And I've been seeing a guy I work with and his friend had thought I'd quit because I've not seen her in a while and he's like saying it's because I'm quiet. So basically I don't talk enough therefore I don't exist. It really makes me sick with myself and with people because... I can't understand. Now I feel really depressed today just because of things like this.
Dont let it get you down!!! I was always quiet and i would hate when people would say that I was. Or that it was cause I was quiet that something went wrong. I mean i would talk but just not as much as everyone else i guess. I had alot of relationships end cause of quietness. I would beat myself up over it. And get all depressed. But I am getting better now through therapy and I talk alot more now. What you said was like highschool for me. And work up until I started therapy(I am not working now or until I improve enough. I have improved alot!!! Just cause you are alittle more quiet than others dosent mean a thing, you are just as good if not better than them!!! I wish you the best!!!
 

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I think this world has too many talkers and not enough listeners. It's a shame that despite the undeniable truth of this, society continues to glorify the loud extroverted type.

Good luck and take care...
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
It's just frustrating. It's like sometimes I get anxiety because I'm scared of being quiet when I'm just being myself and not nervous and NOT quiet.
"girlwiththehair", people call me that, the one with the hair cos I wear my hair a little differently lol.
 

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I often wonder if my teachers from middle school and high school will still remember me after ten years or so because I was so quiet.. I was "the quiet one".. But I think the only real reason people actually noticed me was because of my art skills which always seemed to attract some people..
This is exactly me. I coped with SA for years because being the best artist in my class/grade/school, etc. brought enough self-esteem and positive attention to avoid lonliness. Then I went to an art highschool and suddenly knew 150 other people who were as good or better, and I was no longer known as the artiss, I was the quiet one. Fun stuff.
 

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The second someone slaps a label on me, I am destined to not fulfill it.

Except when it comes to being quiet. Then I become more withdrawn and anxious. Sucks.
 
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