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ukchris
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17 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hello folks
here's my story. i'll try to keep it short !!
one evening when i was 16 i was happily socialising with friends in local pubs etc when me and some friends were set upon by a group of travellers, they smashed my nose with a pool cue and just gave me a general beating ( nothing too serious!!)
however, ever since then i find it very difficult to socialise in any way.
the odd thing is i am chatty and open if i am in a work situation but as soon as it becomes non work related i back out. even if it is a leaving party or similar at my workplace.

i see all these people socialising, going out, getting dates , having fun and i just generally go to work then go home.
i even wait until it is dark before i take my dog out for her walk so i dont meet anyone!.

it is so hard to explain why this is the case and i dont think i will ever get over it.

i am single with no children and i only date women if i get really REALLY lucky.i have a few friends but i dont see them very much and i have family here and there so i'm not totally alone but the realisation is that without my family and internet social networking i really would be very lonely.

i feel quite lonely most of the time :blank

every time i am invited out i just cant seem to do it.

it also doesnt help that i am 6,4 and quite a big aggressive looking guy. i really dont mean to be, but i feel like i draw a lot of attention just by walking through the door.

i began to think that this was just the way it was and i shouldnt worry about it so much ....its just how i am and i began to except this as the answer, i was just a natural loner.

but i recently saw a video on you tube from "health matters" and the doctor explained that this was most often the case with s.a.d. sufferers.
he also explained how most sufferers at some point suffer from depression, this i am on medication for.
he also said that most turn to drugs of one sort or another, dutch courage etc. this i have also done but i dont drink. i have turned to pot as i spend so much time at home alone it seems to help but probably doesnt :blank

well, i hope some of you can relate to what i have been through and together if nothing else, we can find some kind of reassurance that as alone as we think we are ....we are NOT !!!!!!:)

so i guess its not just me then, its a disorder.
 

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Hey welcome to SAS chris :)

Wow your story is really similar to mine

I was jumped by a really close friend in college in front of a bunch of people at a party

before that my social life wasn't anything out of the ordinary

after I built up alot of shame and put walls up keeping people from getting close and getting to know me, and things just progressed

I built up alot of shame inside me that caused me to resent and be fearful of anyone, every new guy I met after that I felt I had to be ready to fight them and every girl I felt I had to prove something

recovery is possible friend, just takes a little time
 

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Hey chris4088 welcome. :hyper
 

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Welcome, Chris4088! :)
 

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ukchris
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17 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
really pleased with myself. just got back fro m my friends, she invited me around for dinner and i would normally turn it down but i didn't

well done me :))
 
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