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I thought I'd 'grown out' of shyness somewhat, or at least grown up enough to feel comfortable being myself and accepting myself as who I am. It was a personal triumph to have made so much progress having hated myself for such a long time and after so much hurting with a terrible failure at school and uni to make friends.

I'm now a waitress. I have a boyfriend. But I feel paranoid (hate that word but can't think of a substitute) that everyone knows I have a non -existent social life. Like my boyfriend asks me what I've been up to on my days off and I have nothing to say. I hang out with my family that's about it. I know on his days off he goes to see his friends/ goes on nights out with the boys/ etc (I don't get invited along). I feel embarrassed. It actually annoys me that he can think to himself "oh I don't need to ask or worry about what my gf has been doing because she has no friends / doesn't go out" - he is literally my only friend and it must be obvious to him this is true even though I've never admitted it (it's never come up in conversation).

There are a few girls at work around my age. I don't seem to get on with any of them on a non-work level. I'm just myself and polite with them, ask them about their own lives etc etc. I feel I get nothing back even though I try not to expect anything. I got asked out with the girls once. Since then they haven't asked me again. I can't help feel defeated and rejected. I know we just have different interests/ personalities (I'm not obsessed with my own image, fake tan or 'following the herd' type things). I just naively thought people might respect me and like me for being myself and happy with myself.

I don't want to go backwards from where I am mentally and start getting bad social anxiety, but wherever I go - uni, different work places, school - nobody likes me :um

How do you make genuine friends? How do you actually have a real social life? I'm missing out on so much because I have nobody to go out with! I feel like some sort of freak that nobody can relate to ....
 

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I'm the same way! Whenever new people ask me what I did on the weekend I sometimes actually lie and say I did something when I actually just sat at home and studied. I do have friends though (not a lot) but they're always busy and we rarely get a chance to hang out. So basically it's like I have none. I feel like such a loser telling people I did nothing because then I think they won't like me because I don't have a social life. I'm not sure how to fix this, I'm the same at work too, like I'm friendly to my coworkers, but they never invite me to hang out either. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a person to talk to when it suits their needs, like if there's no one else around to talk to they'll just talk to me but I'm not someone they actually want to be friends with. It's sad, because I also feel like there's nothing wrong with me so I just don't get it
 

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I'm kinda in the same situation. I thought i grew up at one point, that my shyness had disappeared and that i was finally confident with who I was. I actually promised myself that once i got a new job, ill be able to be who i am and outgoing. Well i think i didnt changed much... Im friendly and smiley but no one seem to be interessed to be my friend...ok i know im shy but do i look that much like a creep? Not to mention that i dont have a single friend since I moved to another province...well i didnt had much friends in my hometown but at least i had some people :/ I'm now all alone with my bf...whos actually my only friend. He's working a lot though, so im often alone and hes always asking me " what did you do today?" And im like...well ..laying on my bed playing games on the computer? lol its pathetic. Unfortunately, i dont think i could be friend with people at my work. Half of them are teenagers still in highschool who act like they where in highschool -_- and the other half are people in their mid 40s 50s... Maybe im picky, but i seriously dont want to be friends with everyone... Ah its so hard to even make a single friend, i dont know how some people manage to have new people in their lives every week/month ...
 
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