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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #1
Tonight my Dad if forcing me to attend a church youth group for people over 18. I suffer from social anxiety and am extremely nervous. I feel like I want to vomit. I need some advice on how to cope with this situation. :hide
 

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If it was me, any amount of advice wouldn't help me at all. It's one of those things you just have to deal with. Try to keep a positive mindset and participate in what's going on, instead of dreading it and hoping to leave soon. I really wish I could do something like that.. I'm atheist, though..

Also, I'd be in the same boat as you. It's easy to give advice when I'm not the one about to do it..
 

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Did you tell him you didn't want to go?
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #4
Actually I am also an atheist but my Dad wants me to meet people my own age since I have no friends.
 

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Well it's obviously over now, but I think church would be a good place to meet people, but if you're not religious then it might seem out of place since the obvious subject will probably be religion. My only advice for the future would be to stay away from the religion topics as much as you can and try to see they have similar interests with other things, which you can build a relationship on.
 

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The more my parents tried to push me into something, the more I rebelled. That is stupid for him to do that to you. I wouldn't set foot in a church myself ever again. Too many phony hypocrites. They make me sick!
 

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Actually I am also an atheist but my Dad wants me to meet people my own age since I have no friends.
Let us know how it went! I didn't know they had "youth" groups for people over 18. It'd just be another fake personality, but maybe I could pretend to fit in and make some friends?
 

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Did you tell him you didn't want to go?
The Un-SA just don't understand. They think that if you just get out and be around other people, youll make friends. :roll It makes sense because that's the way it works for the rest of the world, I suppose.
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #9
I just found out the youth church meeting is next Thursday. I was so nervous dreading the meeting all day. I will discuss my experiences next week and how I coped. Sorry about the mistake.:roll
 

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wondering
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Hi..I really hope you go because it's facing these things that is so important in fighting SA in the long run. Here are some of my random thoughts in no particular order....if your Dad is "making" you, it is a sign that he cares about you and is not giving up on you (hopefully it is not abusive..that is a whole other topic).....my son (15) doesn't like coming out of his comfort zone, so to get him to go somewhere I promise him that if he wants to leave 30 minutes after I drop him off, then I will absolutely come back to get him when he calls...and I haven't had to do it yet....Christian groups should have alot of understanding people...should...but they are a mix of people just like any other group...you will have caring people, know-it-all people, and some people who are just there for the food.....Give it a try, it might not be the place you want to be but it could be the bridge to another place you want to get to. And when it's over, celebrate that you got through it, because we've all been in your shoes & know how tough it is.
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks for the advice Fridays Child, my Dad is not abusive he just wants me to develop friendships. I'm still considering whether to join a small group or visit the church youth meeting consisting of 300+ people. My Dad believes it would be easier and less overwhelming for me to join a small group. I would rather visit the church since I wouldn't be the focus of attention. My social anxiety is more severe with a small group of people whom I would interact more closely. I know this sounds stupid but I'm more worried about looking nervous in front of strangers. When I get nervous I sweat and my face becomes pale. I don't want it to be so obvious that I'd rather be anywhere else but with them. :no
 

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Thanks for the advice Fridays Child, my Dad is not abusive he just wants me to develop friendships. I'm still considering whether to join a small group or visit the church youth meeting consisting of 300+ people. My Dad believes it would be easier and less overwhelming for me to join a small group. I would rather visit the church since I wouldn't be the focus of attention. My social anxiety is more severe with a small group of people whom I would interact more closely. I know this sounds stupid but I'm more worried about looking nervous in front of strangers. When I get nervous I sweat and my face becomes pale. I don't want it to be so obvious that I'd rather be anywhere else but with them. :no
I inquired about the college and career group at my church. I am about to be 34, but the leaders said I am more than welcome to join. I am about as socially/dating together as a recent college graduate anyway - I just have FAR more life experience.
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #13
I've told both my therapist and my Dad that I would feel more comfortable visiting the youth meeting first and then I would join a small youth group. Even though I'm an atheist, I feel like I have no other way of meeting new people my age. Its been over 3 years since I've had ANY friends. I really need a person my own age that I can relate with.
 

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I've told both my therapist and my Dad that I would feel more comfortable visiting the youth meeting first and then I would join a small youth group. Even though I'm an atheist, I feel like I have no other way of meeting new people my age. Its been over 3 years since I've had ANY friends. I really need a person my own age that I can relate with.
Just hearing you say that makes me itch to find something similar! It'll be hard for me, though.. I can blend in well, but for the past like 6 years of my life I've been VERY avidly and actively atheist. I have desecrated everything religious and crusaded against it, absolutely terrorizing people through rigorous debate. I've been so heartless and judgemental and still blame religion for so many of the world's problems. I am MISTER anti-christ.. I feel disrespectful even pretending to represent religion, and here I am considering going to their place of worship and asking them for help and compassion. How am I not supposed to feel anxious?

[email protected]#$.. I do this all the time.. I go where I don't belong and pretend to fit in.. Maybe this isn't the answer..
 

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Tonight my Dad if forcing me to attend a church youth group for people over 18. I suffer from social anxiety and am extremely nervous. I feel like I want to vomit. I need some advice on how to cope with this situation. :hide
I am pretty sure my son has social anxiety issues and he belongs to a youth group. Take small steps, going into new things, no one really expects you to be the life of the group, being a new member there is expectancy that you will be somewhat shy, so use this as a stepping stone. There is alot of activities that my son wont do as a youth member of our parish, but he accepts himself enough to accept this fact but he still attends and does what he is comfortable doing.
OUr experience of youth group is very welcoming and not pushy at all and very encouraging. I wish you well and can't advise, but only to tell of my sons experience.
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #16
I understand how you feel, I know that if I join a church youth group I'm a bit of a hypocrite since I'm a critic of organized religion and don't believe in a god anyway. I'm currently on Zoloft for my social anxiety and need to force myself into social situations to see if the medication is making less anxious.
 

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wondering
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....my son (15) doesn't like coming out of his comfort zone,
Hi..just wanted to clarify that I'm the one with the SA and I'm watching out for my son who might be pre-SA if I didn't guide him through these situations. So I hope you didn't think I was calling your situation a "comfort zone" issue which would be taking it too lightly. At my son's age, if I was in a group / social event, and would get that overwhelming feeling of "I've got to get out of here" I would just take off running sometimes.
And this is my random thought, when you go and if it ends up not being a great first night, I hope you don't think "wow, I'm really unlikeable if a bunch of Christians don't even like me" because that's how my brain goes sometimes:roll
Although you have a better than average chance of being in a caring environment, it's not 100%, because they're still figuring out things too.
Good luck and congrats on accepting support and becoming active in your recovery process:clap
 

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Tip: don't take ecstacy to make church easier.. I felt like god was ready to kick me in the arse at some point in there.

bad trips on e how does that happen.
 

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Digimon Loyalist
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Discussion Starter #19
My therapist has suggested I try the "fake it until you make it" approach. Its basically a method where you try to pretend to act comfortable. I want to come across "normal" whatever that means. I fear that they will see right through me and know that I have extreme anxiety. :um
 
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