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roarrrr
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...do you think it might be easier to get over your SA?


I've been wondering that for myself. Being in the place where my SA grew and flourished. Around people who expect me to get anxious and not say anything. Perhaps it hinders me from moving forward.

For example, when I'm with my family, I can't order food at a fast food restuarant. If I do, they will act all surprised and probably further embarress me because of the sudden change. When I'm forced to go in by myself and order, it doesn't seem too bad, because the person at the counter doesn't know I have SA, to them I'm a normal person.

In school, I could never speak up because everyone knew me for 12 years and knew I was the 'quiet one'. Perhaps if I went to college far from my home, I would be able to speak up without that hindrance.

Anyone relate? Or do you think your SA would remain the same or be worse? I just want your opinions on your own SA.
 

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SAS Member
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I have moved to different locations and it hasn't really changed anything. I do agree that if people expect you to be quiet then you probably won't want to speak up.
 

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Gentle Impulsion
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oh for suree!! i can't wait to move so i can really be the person i want without all the "wow you are talkative today" and stuff like that. it's like argh, why can't i just be talkative without getting a zillion comments lmao xD
 

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...do you think it might be easier to get over your SA?

I've been wondering that for myself. Being in the place where my SA grew and flourished. Around people who expect me to get anxious and not say anything. Perhaps it hinders me from moving forward.

For example, when I'm with my family, I can't order food at a fast food restuarant. If I do, they will act all surprised and probably further embarress me because of the sudden change. When I'm forced to go in by myself and order, it doesn't seem too bad, because the person at the counter doesn't know I have SA, to them I'm a normal person.

In school, I could never speak up because everyone knew me for 12 years and knew I was the 'quiet one'. Perhaps if I went to college far from my home, I would be able to speak up without that hindrance.

Anyone relate? Or do you think your SA would remain the same or be worse? I just want your opinions on your own SA.
This brings up an excellent point when it comes to SA. I definetely think its harder to be outgoing once people have placed the 'quiet one' label on me. Moving may or may not help you. In my last job, I became fairly outgoing with the 4 or 5 people I worked with. It took a while, but it worked. Prior to that, I had a core group of people I went to school with who knew me as 'quiet', and it was hard to break that mold around them.

Sometimes I find it easier to speak up around strangers than I do my own family. My family knows me as 'quiet'.

The bottom line is your SA will probably stay the same no matter where you live, work, go to school, etc. Unless YOU make the decision to change your behavior and try harder. If you simply pick up and start over but don't your behavior efforts, than you shouldn't expect your SA to change. But, sometimes a fresh start can give you the motivation to try new behaviors.
 

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I always think about that when I start a new job or go to a new school. I always tell myself that this time it's going to be different I'm going to speak up and get involved. But when it comes down to it I get stuck in the same old pattern of being quiet, shy and not getting involved. But I do find that some things are easier to do depending on the environment or situation. For example when I'm at home I hate making phone calls or answering the phone when I don't know who is calling. When I'm at work I am expected to make phone calls and anwer the phone. If I didn't do what is expected of me I would feel more anxious than I would talking on the phone. Funny how that works.
 

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I think that moving to a new place you will have the same problems you think you left behind; but the problems are still in the head you traveled with. So no.
 

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SAS Master
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I vote no, too. My family moved around a lot. During my sixth grade year, which was right after a move, I seemed to be more outgoing than ever before or after, but I can't say why. Being embarrassed because people comment that you are more talkative than normal is part of the SA, so if you were more talkative and became thicker skinned (easier said than done), you could change in your current environment. If you kept up being more talkative, after a while they would get used to it and change their perception of you.
 

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3rd SAS Battalion
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Ive noticed: when I'm on vacation in another country and culture, my social anxiety lessens. I feel it is easier to be myself.

The reason for this? Probably that if I act weird or strange people will assume that's just how people from my country act and not just me as an individual.
 

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In 'da 707
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Yes as a matter of fact that's my main problem right now. I'm in a rural area, and my anxiety is paralyzing living here as opposed to being in a more anonymous, populated location. I don't think moving can take away SA, but, in some cases, i think moving can bring SA down to a more workable level.
 

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alien monk
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Ive noticed: when I'm on vacation in another country and culture, my social anxiety lessens. I feel it is easier to be myself.

The reason for this? Probably that if I act weird or strange people will assume that's just how people from my country act and not just me as an individual.
I always wonder if I'd feel different if I moved to somewhere with a different culture... Maybe my anxiety would not associate with different people, or I would accept that I will always be the different one and try to enjoy being different rather than hiding...?
 

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First of all I think, you are still the same person you can't run away from your problems!
But If you live a very long time in the same environment with the same people you can get stuck.
Like you feel a prisoner.

A new place with new things to discover can give you new inspiration !. And inspiration get give you a new look on thinks that you haven't had before.
But I also think it depends on you, you have to “keep on going”and try new thinks out. And trying new thinks out can be easier in a new environment because the people around you have now expectations.

I was on vacation a couple years ago, I was very scared about it. But I have to say I felt a lot better on my vacation, and I was very active !. I had lots of energy. My anxiety was not gone, but my emotions where very positive!. The day I went home all my old feeling come back.
So a environment can make a different's. But its very difficult to force myself to move out of here.
Moving out of the comfort zone..
 

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In hiding
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You know, I always think that moving somewhere else might help. I actually kind of like the thought of being around all new people and pretty much just being able to start again. And I'm like you sometimes if I'm alone I'll immediately feel like I can be a more confident me because there's no one there who knows me and is expecting me to be all quiet and 'shy.' There was this job interview I was going to go to awhile back, but it was a group assessment type thing.. so the people there could be doing for different positions within the store. Anyway, I was going to go to it, and then my sister decided she might go too, for a different position than I'd be going for. She asked me if it'd be weird, us working at the same place (assuming I got the job). I liked and said it might be, just so she wouldn't go to the interview. I'd wanted to go myself and try to be confident around these strangers. For some reason the thought of my sister being there made me feel sure I'd either be more confident but feel self-consicious of myself in front of my sister for acting different, OR, I'd go in with my sis HOPING to be more confident but I'd just end up being the same quiet 'shy' person I always am. She respected my wishes for her to not go (not that I ever stressed it a lot, but something else came up for her anyway). As for me, I ended up freaking out and not even going to the interview. :roll
 

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...do you think it might be easier to get over your SA?

I've been wondering that for myself. Being in the place where my SA grew and flourished. Around people who expect me to get anxious and not say anything. Perhaps it hinders me from moving forward.

For example, when I'm with my family, I can't order food at a fast food restuarant. If I do, they will act all surprised and probably further embarress me because of the sudden change. When I'm forced to go in by myself and order, it doesn't seem too bad, because the person at the counter doesn't know I have SA, to them I'm a normal person.

In school, I could never speak up because everyone knew me for 12 years and knew I was the 'quiet one'. Perhaps if I went to college far from my home, I would be able to speak up without that hindrance.

Anyone relate? Or do you think your SA would remain the same or be worse? I just want your opinions on your own SA.
I know exactly what you mean. I feel that the people I see every day are so used to me being quiet and awkward that it'd be really weird (for them and me) if I just suddenly started trying to be more social.
Anytime I have to go meet a new group of people for the first time, I always try to make an effort to at least pretend I'm more comfortable and outgoing than I actually am, but so far I've not had much success with that. It's a confidence thing more than anything else.
I've thought about trying to move somewhere else and make a fresh start, but I'm doubtful it'd work for me. I've never been good at making new friends and I'd probably just end up retreating into the same kind of isolation as I'm currently in.
 

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Nice avatar Homersxchild I love Emilie Autumn. :)

I don't think moving would help my SA, in fact I think it might make it worse having to get use to a whole new place and new neighbors.
 

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No.

Well you did ask might and it might help some people but I moved away to university twice and went half way across the world to do work experience but I couldn't handle it because of my SA so no it didn't help at all.

It could help to be away from people that have expectation of you, but maybe you are imagining some of those expectations?

I'd imaging that a totally new place would be overwhelming for a non SA person, so for someone with SA it could be beyond overwhelming and if you don't get over that scaryness real quick, it's so easy to run and hide and then SA won't go away by itself.

But saying all that, I'm comtemplating doing it again lol
 

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Going to strange places is a problem for me, so I doubt it.
maybe its just me, but my SA comes down if i am more focused on my surroundings. I don't like being confused but it helps if every things is new, and no one knows me. I just feel like a regular person. Being in the place that i lived in and went to school in, i always feel people may know me. I've moved to a very different place from where i was, my SA didn't really go away but i do feel less stress because of it. Talking to people is the same, if you can't do it before you probably will still feel anxiety doing in a new place, but I agree that feeling like a stranger to people makes you a little more confident, you can feel like everyone else for a moment.
 
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