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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
if you had your way what meds would you take?
I would probably try hydrocodone, low dosage and see when I gain tolerance. I tolerate the pain killers very well and they dont flair up my bipolar. Nor do they give me anxiety. Though Id probably regret it during withdrawl..
I dont really like ssris, they make it so my penis cant get fully erected as well as a trashy orgasm. They also make me hypomanic, and its not the good one. I also get more anxiety on them. And either they give me insomnia or hyersomnia. but enough about antidepressants and their trashy effects on me.
Adderall is okay but I cant combine it with any serotonin meds.. If i do I instantly get really really really spaced out and a huge head fog thats not healthy, trust me. I think its just too much serotonin. I cant even take supplements like 5htp with it. Any suggestions on that?

I think I am bipolar, add, a bit of adhd, eating disorder past, <hence obsessive compulsive qualites and idk what else.
 

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If I had my way, I would get these:

  • Moclobemide (low/medium dose)
  • Selegiline (lowish dose)
  • Paroxetine (low dose)
  • Mirtazapine
  • Diazepam (low/medium dose)
  • Buprenorphine
  • Magnesium (high dose)
  • Multi/B-vitamin
  • N-acetyl-cysteine
  • Huperzine A/donepezil
  • Domperidone (maybe)
  • Bupropion/PEA (maybe)(low dose)
  • Carvedilol (maybe)
  • Memantine (maybe)

Oh wait, I do have my way, and am getting these. Now if something gets in my way this time, I will have to kill myself through repeatedly hitting my head against a brick wall. Luckily I am not drugged up (in a bad way) any more, so won't be prone to moments of stupidity like I was, thus, should have a clean run.

Disclaimer: don't do what I do, as getting the dose wrong on even one of those has the potential for death.
 

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If Nardil wasnt so dangerous Id be happy to take it.
 

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GHB (already use this)
Dextroamphetamine
Clonazepam
Pentobarbital
Opioid (dihydrocodeine had no effect on me)
Cannabis
MDMA (very low dose might be useful in situ, larger doses for therapy purposes)
Domperidone (anti-emetic, available over the counter here anyway)
 

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GHB (already use this)
Dextroamphetamine
Clonazepam
Pentobarbital
Opioid (dihydrocodeine had no effect on me)
Cannabis
MDMA (very low dose might be useful in situ, larger doses for therapy purposes)
Domperidone (anti-emetic, available over the counter here anyway)
Pentobarbital? I thought Michael Jackson was hardcore for (ab)using propofol... but wanting to (ab)use the probably best agent known to man for euthanasia (Pentobarbital) to "treat" social phobia makes you definitely more hardcore. Can you sing & dance too? ;)
 

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GHB (already use this)
Dextroamphetamine
Clonazepam
Pentobarbital
Opioid (dihydrocodeine had no effect on me)
Cannabis
MDMA (very low dose might be useful in situ, larger doses for therapy purposes)
Domperidone (anti-emetic, available over the counter here anyway)
Without adjustments/additions, those will royally screw up your brain. Sustainability needs to be considered here.
 

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GHB (already use this)
Dextroamphetamine
Clonazepam
Pentobarbital
Opioid (dihydrocodeine had no effect on me)
Cannabis
MDMA (very low dose might be useful in situ, larger doses for therapy purposes)
Domperidone (anti-emetic, available over the counter here anyway)
Without adjustments/additions, those will royally screw up your brain. Sustainability needs to be considered here.
@Euphoria:

If a "everyman" had completely & unlimited access to those drugs listed (like eg. UltraShy wants the law to be) - what to you think would happen to him within weeks-months - please answer as honest as you can...
 

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@Euphoria:

If a "everyman" had completely & unlimited access to those drugs listed (like eg. UltraShy wants the law to be) - what to you think would happen to him within weeks-months - please answer as honest as you can...
If these drugs are (ab)used heavily:

GHB

Initially the user will feel powerful euphoria, empathy and sociability, as well as cognitive/memory impairment. Positive effects fade away over weeks/months, leaving behind only the sedative, cognitive dulling element, in addition to myoclonic jerks, possible dehydration (with GBL) and other as-yet unstudied effects that will generally make you seem like a weird druggie. The cognitive effects may cause you to lose your judgement, similar to alcohol. You may do a lot of damage to your reputation and life while on G.

When GHB is stopped (if using 24/7), the user may suffer from psychosis and horrible withdrawals. If use isn't 24/7, they will simply crash on their "off periods". Past this point, the user is likely to suffer from anhedonia, depression and other psychiatric problems. The "GHB magic" doesn't ever return as good as it first was, in my experience. Unlike other drugs, this can't be (temporarily) rectified by an increased dose, as then you get more sedation.

Dextroamphetamine

Again, positive effects will lessen with time and leave depression/anxiety/anhedonia when off the drug. If used heavily, psychosis and paranoia can develop.

Clonazepam

When you first start benzos, you'll probably hail them as the wonder-drug like the rest of us. Later you may realise how devastatingly incapacitating the memory/cognitive deficits are, and that despite having dramatically less anxiety, you still can't fully participate socially. Depression can often follow. You may do a lot of damage to your reputation and life while on benzos.

Tolerance to benzodiazepines takes a relatively long time to develop, but on the flip-side, withdrawal also takes what will seem like forever. You will want to rewrite the definition of suffering in your dictionary after long-term benzo withdrawal.

Pentobarbital

Similar to clonazepam, only with the added bonus of an easy chance of dying from overdose.

Opioid

Following the trend of all fun dopaminergic drugs, the blissful element of opioid effects will quickly disappear (without dose increases) as several tolerance mechanisms kick in, including those that will make you feel horribly dysphoric unless you take more.

Cannabis

If used all day every day for many weeks or even months, positive effects will be replaced by intense anxiety, depression and even paranoia and possibly psychosis.

However, when used responsibly, you shouldn't suffer these side-effects. I only encountered them when I was a full-time (all day every day) stoner. You will not develop psychosis from responsible cannabis use unless you are already half way there, especially if you use strains with a balanced ratio of cannabinoids, not the godawful ones designed only with high THC in mind.

MDMA

Similar problems will arise as with dextroamphetamine, only with much more severe depression and crashing, and more potential brain damage. Only someone who really hates their brain would take MDMA regularly without protection (never forget your protection!). Additionally, street "ecstasy" pills are generally really really really really nasty, and often don't even contain MDMA.

Domperidone

If used in high doses for long periods, the user may develop man-boobs and up-regulation of dopamine receptors outside the blood-brain barrier, resulting in dependence on domperidone to suppress the horrible nausea that comes back after each dose fades away. In very high doses, cardiac arrhythmia may occur, as well as other problems. Theoretically however, these problems would be negated by an all-receptor dopaminergic like selegiline.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
well i made this thread when i was withdrawing from adderall. lol no luck on that, I think ill be on it forever. or some type of amphetamine. I worried about the winter time tho.. no light kills me. I sometimes have super intense cravings for opioids... I think its when im getting off meds and my dopamine is low and repairing. I think i crave a dopamine rush so I crave pain killers. Seriously this happens alot. I think in the future I will have pain and Ill add a painkiller that will add to the remission of my depression and anxiety. but who knows.
I get all mad sometimes lol, LIFE IS SO UNFAIR JUST gimme the drugs!! f*** society and their stupid drug rules. but its a temporary feeling.
All these street drugs should trully be made by companies. Its a dangerous game taking unpure drugs made by people who dont care.
I think that all drugs should be legal and need a perscription for them. Youd need to be 18. and all the drugs would have a HUGE warning on them. Saying "if you have a history of mental illness in yourself/family, it is strongly advised to not take this drug" and "recent studies show this drug may cause ....."
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
If I had my way, I would get these:

  • Moclobemide (low/medium dose)
  • Selegiline (lowish dose)
  • Paroxetine (low dose)
  • Mirtazapine
  • Diazepam (low/medium dose)
  • Buprenorphine
  • Magnesium (high dose)
  • Multi/B-vitamin
  • N-acetyl-cysteine
  • Huperzine A/donepezil
  • Domperidone (maybe)
  • Bupropion/PEA (maybe)(low dose)
  • Carvedilol (maybe)
  • Memantine (maybe)

Oh wait, I do have my way, and am getting these. Now if something gets in my way this time, I will have to kill myself through repeatedly hitting my head against a brick wall. Luckily I am not drugged up (in a bad way) any more, so won't be prone to moments of stupidity like I was, thus, should have a clean run.

Disclaimer: don't do what I do, as getting the dose wrong on even one of those has the potential for death.
how are you getting bupe? You know what im doing temporarily and just experimenting is im gonna grow poppys. Not only are they a freakin sweet flower, but they can be made into a tea and help you out. Plus the tea is more mild. Just an idea really, idk if it will work out. I may not like it.
 

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If I had my way, and my doctor wasn't so inept, I would explore the other anti-depressants outside the SSRI/SNRI and Mirtazapine, that's basically it. How hard is it for my doctor to do that? Honestly, jesus, it's not like I'm taking cocaine or something.
 

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I've been off my medications for about a year now and I actually prefer it a lot better. Sometimes I think I would like to possibly take Xanex because I get panic attacks. (usually when I drive)
 

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I've had various breaks from my medications before, and despite the fact I absolutely HATE them because they give me soo many other problems, they have kept me from going to dark places in my mind, which seems to be the case now..
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I've been off my medications for about a year now and I actually prefer it a lot better. Sometimes I think I would like to possibly take Xanex because I get panic attacks. (usually when I drive)
yea off medications feels better. But for me after a few days off of them, I get overloaded and I cry and i become numb. I get hopeless and want to die. I isolate and am really afraid to go out. Depression isnt something I could ever deal with without meds. Its strictly a disease and cant be thought out of. When you are hopeless thats when you know yuo have depression. Normal people keep going, depressed people cave in and become hopeless.
But i would need something too to drive.. oo. I am scared just thinking about it. But i cant take xanax/benzos because they cause really bad memory loss for me. Like if I took one before driving I wouldnt remember driving.
 

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If I had my way, I wouldn't have SA or depression :b
 

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Good answer, if a little cheeky. lol (I can't believe I found that funny, first time in like 2 weeks I've laughed, must be a good thing - hope it lasts).
 

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Pentobarbital? I thought Michael Jackson was hardcore for (ab)using propofol... but wanting to (ab)use the probably best agent known to man for euthanasia (Pentobarbital) to "treat" social phobia makes you definitely more hardcore. Can you sing & dance too? ;)
I'd be willing to try anything within reason.
 

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I hate being off medication. Even SSRIs are a better option than my natural mood. Some meds were truly horrible to be on though, such as pregabalin. My nickname for them is "suicide pills", because even though the initial effects weren't bad, they soon turned into despair.
 
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