Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 43 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
791 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I notice a theme on here of people getting asked out but turning the people who ask them out down.

Why is that?

That is, other than not wanting to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
643 Posts
In order to spare them the disappointment of having to spend more the 30 seconds in my presence. I think sometimes people think this guy is quiet maybe if I can get him to open up a little he'll be interesting. The answer is no.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,171 Posts
As a guy, I've never been asked out.

The type of girls that find me attractive are the ones that are never my type, so hypothetically speaking if they were to ask me out, I'd turn them down for that reason alone. And the girls I find attractive would want nothing to do with me, so yeah...
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
791 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I've turned guys down because I wasn't into them or they were a jerk. For some reason I get lots of guys who think that I'll be able to support them financially or something and I don't have that much money myself, so what do I want to support them for?
Men and women should support themselves. It's not their partner's job to do that.
 

·
Beautiful Mess
Joined
·
1,284 Posts
If I am asked out by someone and don't want to go, I usually tell them that I will be super busy the next couple of weeks and than invite them to my church or ask them to help me with something or look over a paper ( when I was in school) I just offer an alternative so it is not really turning them down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,814 Posts
Honestly, there are a host of reasons. Sometimes it's because of how they look or how they act. Sometimes it's because they are too busy or not busy enough. The last girl I was dating said we had "no connection". Depends on what we want emotionally, physically and sometimes spiritually. The point is, it's different for everyone.

Now for me...

I'm both a physical and a personality guy. If the girl looks attractive to me but her personality is not favorable then it usually doesn't work out. Even if the girl is OK looking, she can have a great personality and I'll want to date her. I've been turned down plenty of times so I see no harm in only going after what you want. After all, I'm learning that's just dating and it comes with the territory.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
298 Posts
One time I refused because I was naive, and completely oblivious. In addition, my comfort zone is in the 'stay away from people and don't get close' area, so it's instinctual for me to make up an excuse.

The second time, I knew, then got freaked out and stopped talking to the person.
 

·
Suit up!
Joined
·
390 Posts
In high school I didn't like myself at all and the idea of someone liking me, a person I hated, bothered me. I didn't want to be with someone that liked a person I couldn't stand. I like the feeling of being in a relationship, but I have a really hard time opening up to others, which is why I try to avoid going out with people.

Then again, sometimes I just don't want to go out with them and that's fine too... although I'm too much of a wuss to be blunt about it. Instead I ***** foot around a rejection.
 

·
Chief Worrier
Joined
·
1,889 Posts
i don't even let guys ask me out. i don't talk to them because i'm afraid they won't like me, and if they DO like me i won't know what to do, so preventing it from getting that far is safer and less painful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
I just always say no because I think it might just be a joke or a dare and I'll end up embarresed....

Guys have asked me out as a joke on more than one occasion.
 

·
Hear, See , Be silent
Joined
·
1,421 Posts
As a guy, I've never been asked out
I think it's supposed to be our job....yes i'm just saying that because i've never been asked out it seems that girls prefer to avoid me.
 

·
Losing Ground
Joined
·
2,121 Posts
I think the last three times I was asked out it was by two girls who were totally incompatible with me altogether (have no idea why either wanted to go out with me) and the third was a dude (well he didn't ask me out directly but strongly hinted at it and made it known he liked me) and I'm not into dudes. Those were all a couple years ago and I can't really think of any other time when someone asked me out.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
160 Posts
Usually it's never really the right situation, he lives too far, he's a pervert, he's not attractive (in my high school days), he's taken, always taken, etc, etc. It's having SA, the situation of being isolated, and my only means of communication to the outside world being through the net, that is my problem. I hope this is going to change for me soon, however. :D
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
791 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Usually it's never really the right situation, he lives too far, he's a pervert, he's not attractive (in my high school days), he's taken, always taken, etc, etc. It's having SA, the situation of being isolated, and my only means of communication to the outside world being through the net, that is my problem. I hope this is going to change for me soon, however. :D
I definately hear you. Seriously for me if its not one of those things its they were in jail or abused a former g/f (restrainnig order, etc). Haha. I don't get it at all.
 
1 - 20 of 43 Posts
Top