I just don't get the point of my life anymore. I like people and I wanna find a girlfriend, but at the same time I hate talking with people. It's so uncomfortable. I'm bad with eye contact, I never know what to say and most conversations I just wanna get out of ASAP. Conversation is more like a chore for me than something I can gain from. Even when my parents are talking to me, I feel awkward. It's like I worry about every stupid thing. Kind of wears me out and totally ruins my social life. To make things worse, today I serviced an account, for my job, at a local sports bar and I ran into a girl working there who was definitely my type. This happens to me every once in a while and it just bums me out. I've tried everything and the bottom line is I'm socially awkward. There is no fix and I'm stuck. I can't get a makeover or buy new clothes and solve my problem. The more I try to overcome my fears, the more I feel awkward. I spent 6 months trying to face my fear of eye contact. I forced myself to look people in the eyes, but this made me hate socializing even more.Really, what's the point? How can you live a full life when you can't communicate with people. I feel like I'm just waiting to die and there's no hope.