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If society were different, would you still have SA?

2K views 27 replies 20 participants last post by  CosmicNeurotica 
#1 ·
What if everyone in the world never needed to talk much or judge the way society does today, and the outcasts were the ones that made noise and wouldn't shut up.
I'm sure somewhere in the world cultures would be accepting of us, but because of that, we wouldn't have SA and would be comfortable with the lifestyle.
If only the world were open minded and understood life has no rules. Society makes the rules, and we can be accepting of all!
 
#6 ·
Yes, I absolutely agree with OP.

- Normality is a function of critical mass.

- Abnormality is a function of being a minority.

If enough people support something, it's "normal". There's numerous ailments, diseases, health issues ect that exist in mass numbers. But because these issues exist in vast numbers the ailments are "normal". Examples of this? Eyesight problems. There's a large enough amount of people who have near-sightedness, far-sightedness that in turn normalizes the problem. People with glasses are common. Society adapts around them because there's enough of them.

Then you have conditions that don't exist in super vast numbers but have a large enough critical mass to create a sub-culture. This sub-culture can often replace mainstream culture and in turn create a community that sustains itself, which in turn makes it feel normalized for those who have it. Examples of this? Gays, lesbians ect.

SA doesn't have critical mass.

If everyone on SAS lived in a closed off societal experiment we'd all feel normal. Since we don't have a critical mass we're stuck in other people's worlds.

Power in numbers. I think SAS help's the movement for reaching critical mass.
 
#17 ·
- Normality is a function of critical mass.

- Abnormality is a function of being a minority.

If enough people support something, it's "normal". There's numerous ailments, diseases, health issues ect that exist in mass numbers. But because these issues exist in vast numbers the ailments are "normal". Examples of this? Eyesight problems. There's a large enough amount of people who have near-sightedness, far-sightedness that in turn normalizes the problem. People with glasses are common. Society adapts around them because there's enough of them.

Then you have conditions that don't exist in super vast numbers but have a large enough critical mass to create a sub-culture. This sub-culture can often replace mainstream culture and in turn create a community that sustains itself, which in turn makes it feel normalized for those who have it. Examples of this? Gays, lesbians ect.

SA doesn't have critical mass.

If everyone on SAS lived in a closed off societal experiment we'd all feel normal. Since we don't have a critical mass we're stuck in other people's worlds.

Power in numbers. I think SAS help's the movement for reaching critical mass.
i totally agree. and i believe there are more sufferers than those that come forward (for obvious reasons, it's our nature). i recently saw someone post on this site a video that included at least 50 people who suffer from social anxiety/phobia. it gave me goosebumps. i'm pretty sure it's on you tube. if we work toward awareness, are we setting ourselves up for the naysayers who also thought global warming is a myth and the holocaust never happened...or would it bring this disorder to the forefront with the same minimal amount of stigma that goes along with generalized anxiety disorder?
questions, questions...:con
 
#7 ·
I don't know, honestly. I can tell you that right now the main 'cause' of it, for me, is a fear that someone will think badly of me for any reason, and the thought that that happening would be absolutely terrible. Maybe if I lived in a society where everyone was exactly like me, or everyone was completely accepting, there would be less reason for them to think badly of me, but there would never be a guarantee that it wouldn't happen. So in that case I think it wouldn't make a difference.

On the other hand, what led to me thinking that way was, I suspect, the period I went through in middle school where I felt very very strongly that my classmates thought I was very weird and thus didn't like me. Assuming I'm right about what they were thinking, living in a more accepting society where "weirdness" wasn't seen as negative wouldn't have caused them to dislike me. Then again I have no way of knowing whether they really were thinking that or not.

Just because something is seen as normal or accepted does not mean that it's good or healthy. Bad eyesight may be normal, but it's still a physical ailment that needs to be treated. Being overweight may be normal, but it's still unhealthy and can cause disability. Having a society full of people who think in a disordered way wouldn't magically make their way of thinking correct.
 
#10 ·
I think the only reason I have SA is because I live too much in my own head. Why do I do that? Because I think I'm special. Because in a weird way I've convinced myself that everyone else is very interested in me and wants to know what I think, and this feels like an invasion of my personal thoughts and privacy, even though I know no one really thinks like this. If I could convince myself that most people don't notice me, or care about what I do, or would even care to judge me and talk about me or think about me at all, I don't think I would have SA. I would be able to take my life and let it out of my head once in a while into the rest of the world around me.

I think the only reason that anyone in the world judges someone else is because people put energy into thinking other people judge them. It's become such a big thing in our world. People say to not care what other people think, and it's good advice, but people need to not care for real, and not just say they don't care.

So it isn't anything society does. Society reacts with what people put energy into. I feel as if a big spotlight is on me all the time, even though I know it isn't. If I just felt like that spotlight were gone, and could convince myself of that for real, there would be no more SA.

Nothing can affect you if you don't let it.
 
#12 ·
I think the only reason I have SA is because I live too much in my own head. Why do I do that? Because I think I'm special. Because in a weird way I've convinced myself that everyone else is very interested in me and wants to know what I think, and this feels like an invasion of my personal thoughts and privacy, even though I know no one really thinks like this. If I could convince myself that most people don't notice me, or care about what I do, or would even care to judge me and talk about me or think about me at all, I don't think I would have SA. I would be able to take my life and let it out of my head once in a while into the rest of the world around me.

I think the only reason that anyone in the world judges someone else is because people put energy into thinking other people judge them. It's become such a big thing in our world. People say to not care what other people think, and it's good advice, but people need to not care for real, and not just say they don't care.

So it isn't anything society does. Society reacts with what people put energy into. I feel as if a big spotlight is on me all the time, even though I know it isn't. If I just felt like that spotlight were gone, and could convince myself of that for real, there would be no more SA.

Nothing can affect you if you don't let it.
Can't disagree with that.
Well put.
 
#15 ·
I definitely feel a lot of times that I'm simply not compatible with this society we live in, but would fit in in a different one. Probably not in any society that exists on this planet however. It's neither realistic nor helpful to blame your problem(s) on the society though, so I'm quite willing to admit that the problem is with me and not the society.
 
#16 ·
Yes, if people were nice, exposure therapy would probably work for me. It's much easier to take bigger risks when you see good outcomes with the smaller ones.
 
#18 ·
Yes, I absolutely agree with OP.

- Normality is a function of critical mass.

- Abnormality is a function of being a minority.

If enough people support something, it's "normal". There's numerous ailments, diseases, health issues ect that exist in mass numbers. But because these issues exist in vast numbers the ailments are "normal". Examples of this? Eyesight problems. There's a large enough amount of people who have near-sightedness, far-sightedness that in turn normalizes the problem. People with glasses are common. Society adapts around them because there's enough of them.

Then you have conditions that don't exist in super vast numbers but have a large enough critical mass to create a sub-culture. This sub-culture can often replace mainstream culture and in turn create a community that sustains itself, which in turn makes it feel normalized for those who have it. Examples of this? Gays, lesbians ect.

SA doesn't have critical mass.

If everyone on SAS lived in a closed off societal experiment we'd all feel normal. Since we don't have a critical mass we're stuck in other people's worlds.

Power in numbers. I think SAS help's the movement for reaching critical mass.
Awesome post, I found myself nodding to it.
 
#19 ·
I think I'd still have SA and I'd leave my house no more than I do now.
 
#21 ·
I can tell you that mine has been caused by this society we live in.

I've was picked on, put down, and not given one ounce of support my entire childhood. Then in college I was forced to endure all kind of negative, racial statements that went beyond being simply rude and into a racially hostile environment.

When I lived in Peru, I never had these kind of feelings. I walked around and everyone was friendly and very supportive. I never felt like my race was an issue or that people hated me simply because I'm a white male like they do here. I could walk around any time of the day and find someone to talk to and have a pleasant conversation. If I walk around here I'll either be ignored or treated rudely more often than not.

I just feel people specifically in my area are incredibly rude and negative and especially seem to hate anyone who is white and male to an extreme degree. Granted these hateful people are probably not the majority, but just knowing that I am likely to encounter such a person makes me not want to go to school or go out and try talking to anyone. I dont have much experience with other parts of the country so I dunno if there are some parts of the US where people are less racist or not but I can definitely tell you people in Peru are far less racist and hateful than people I encounter here in my little corner of the US.

Despite alll the smart people and money we have here, we seem to be a society of people that just cannot stop judging people based on whatever categories are popular to pick on at that time. 50 years ago we hated blacks, then we hated gays, today I guess it's my turn. Wonder who will be next?
 
#25 ·
I can tell you that mine has been caused by this society we live in.

I've was picked on, put down, and not given one ounce of support my entire childhood. Then in college I was forced to endure all kind of negative, racial statements that went beyond being simply rude and into a racially hostile environment.

When I lived in Peru, I never had these kind of feelings. I walked around and everyone was friendly and very supportive. I never felt like my race was an issue or that people hated me simply because I'm a white male like they do here. I could walk around any time of the day and find someone to talk to and have a pleasant conversation. If I walk around here I'll either be ignored or treated rudely more often than not.

I just feel people specifically in my area are incredibly rude and negative and especially seem to hate anyone who is white and male to an extreme degree. Granted these hateful people are probably not the majority, but just knowing that I am likely to encounter such a person makes me not want to go to school or go out and try talking to anyone. I dont have much experience with other parts of the country so I dunno if there are some parts of the US where people are less racist or not but I can definitely tell you people in Peru are far less racist and hateful than people I encounter here in my little corner of the US.

Despite alll the smart people and money we have here, we seem to be a society of people that just cannot stop judging people based on whatever categories are popular to pick on at that time. 50 years ago we hated blacks, then we hated gays, today I guess it's my turn. Wonder who will be next?
Very good points. Especially in your last paragraph.
When talking about the US, I find it interesting that, as a country that is one of the most diverse in the world, we are probably the most judgmental. You would think that with so many different cultures living together, we could all get along and learn to be more open minded. But that's not the case.
Since I know I have a lot of Irish in me, I feel I might be more comfortable living in Ireland :D Worth a shot anyway. Most anything would be better than living here in this greedy nation where only the wealthy and religious get all of the benefits. In a lot of places the lifestyle may be worse, but at least the people would be less close-minded and more inclined to love you no matter who you are.
 
#23 ·
I think that yes, I would still have SA.
Mostly because I grew up much more 'sheltered' than other people here. I've never been picked on, was always pretty much accepted, even though I was weird, was never made an outcast or something.
I always had people try to talk to me and get to know me, I'm just not able to make friends, even under ideal circumstances.
There's just something wrong with me, and I don't even know if it's really SA (I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor). Or if it's just me.
Definitely not society's fault, at least in my case.
 
#24 ·
I'm sure somewhere in the world cultures would be accepting of us, but because of that, we wouldn't have SA and would be comfortable with the lifestyle.
If only the world were open minded and understood life has no rules. Society makes the rules, and we can be accepting of all!
Accepting is the key word. If the world could be more accepting of people being different and be considerate instead of judgemental I think many, many people would not suffer from many mental issues.

I was actually born and raised in Mexico and I'm really struggling with the American lifestyle. I feel very comfortable around people from my country and I feel that I fit in. I can joke around and feel ok. Although many times people in my culture can be brutally critical about some things and I struggle to deal with that.
 
#27 ·
PlanS:

I would encourage you to take a month or more and visit Peru. Walk around Lima and just talk to people, even street people are incredibly warm and friendly. Then go down to a jungle town... not the ones in the North where tourists go, I am saying go down to a jungle town and after you've visited the jungle spend 4 or 5 days in the actual town just hanging out with people. Pick a random town off the tourist trail and just show up. Once a hooker even had sex with me for free just because she liked talking to me and we are still email pals. A hotel chick talked with me for hours practicing our english and spanish on each other just because..... I'm not into being competitive and an trying to outdue everyone and speak over others and all that. I felt like in Peru people took more time to connect with individuals. I have a suspecion this would appeal to a significant number of people on this site. I also visited Argentina down there and found it more like the US, people are friendly but there are some snobs too and there's just more uneasiness about it.
 
#28 ·
PlanS:

I would encourage you to take a month or more and visit Peru. Walk around Lima and just talk to people, even street people are incredibly warm and friendly. Then go down to a jungle town... not the ones in the North where tourists go, I am saying go down to a jungle town and after you've visited the jungle spend 4 or 5 days in the actual town just hanging out with people. Pick a random town off the tourist trail and just show up. Once a hooker even had sex with me for free just because she liked talking to me and we are still email pals. A hotel chick talked with me for hours practicing our english and spanish on each other just because..... I'm not into being competitive and an trying to outdue everyone and speak over others and all that. I felt like in Peru people took more time to connect with individuals. I have a suspecion this would appeal to a significant number of people on this site. I also visited Argentina down there and found it more like the US, people are friendly but there are some snobs too and there's just more uneasiness about it.
A free hooker just for being friendly?
Now you've convinced me..
Really though, that does sound great. If I had the funds I'd love to visit Peru. Take a trip in the rain forest while I'm there too. Jungle town just sounds so exotic.
 
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