[mcrhyson]

I'm 23 only been in two relationships in my life and they both lasted 2 + years and ended badly with the girl cheating on me or just leaving without a reason ( or telling me atleast ) It has been a month since the last girl and I wanna try to move on and get back out there trying to find someone. Keep in mind these were both online and long distance relationships, we did meet in person a few times though. But after these two girls I really do have no confindence in myself ( I have very little to start with ) I mean I deal with adult acne some, I'm very skinny but very akward and I don't I just don't think much of myself. I just wanna know is there anyone that would want someone like me ?

 

[rymo]

Honestly, I would work on loving myself first. Why would you want to be in a relationship when you don't anyway? You will just end up (as you did) relying on your partner for validation all the time. That's just miserable.

How about trying to work out? Starting to build up that confidence from square one...joining an SA group or some other activity or meetup. You have some experience with women so that's a start. Try talking to more girls. Going out more. Exposing yourself to different situations. Finding hobbies that you are passionate about. Anything. This is the new you, you just gotta start moving forward and never looking back.

 

[trendyfool]

I think a large part of your problem is that they were online relationships, and an online relationship is arguably just a pale shadow of a relationship where you see your partner on a regular basis. Online relationships can lead to a lot of pain (from observations on this forum). Also, the way I see it, being in a relationship (romantic but any close relationship works) actually helps you learn to love yourself. It's not true when people say that if you don't love yourself, no one else can love you. As long as you can love someone else, you can be loved back.

 

[Peter Attis]

Relationships involve a lot of giving to the other person. I don't really see how you can give to another person if you're not in touch with yourself.

 

[tbyrfan]

You don't have to love yourself for others to love you. People constantly say this and make it seem like you have to be this perfectly confident person or you will be alone forever, and that is completely untrue! Everyone has their hangups, but those don't completely hold them back; in fact, many people learn to love themselves with the help of love and support from others. However, I do think the key to healthy friendships and relationships is to have a certain level of comfort with who you are. This comfort helps allow you to trust others and accept the love they give you. It's important to accept the flaws you have, too, and strive to improve them rather than beat yourself up over them; this sort of negative attitude drives people away if you do it far too often. Regardless of your insecurities, it is still possible for anyone to like you, but it's important to be open to improvement.

 

[Milco]

You don't have to love yourself for others to love you. People constantly say this and make it seem like you have to be this perfectly confident person or you will be alone forever, and that is completely untrue! Everyone has their hangups, but those don't completely hold them back; in fact, many people learn to love themselves with the help of love and support from others. However, I do think the key to healthy friendships and relationships is to have a certain level of comfort with who you are.

I agree with this.
It's just a common misconception - especially on here - that you have to love yourself for others to love you, but it just isn't true.
It's a good thing to like yourself for who you are and it has many benefits that would be good for you, but it's not a requirement other people loving you.

 

[RenegadeReloaded]

I don't love myself but that didn't mean I haven't heard the magic words ''I love you'' from at least 2 persons. I can even say I hate myself a bit.

So that statement falls right from the start cause I experienced the opposite. But still some people and psychologists still repeat it like brainless people. I mean they generalize it.

 

[Amphoteric]

I don't love myself but still someone else manages to love me, so that answers that.

Just don't expect getting into a relationship to magically solve your self-esteem problems, being in a relationship with someone else can be really difficult if you have issues with who you are.

 

[bsd3355]

When you don't love yourself to a degree everything tends to be harder but people can still love you regardless.

 

[mooncake]

I don't love myself but still someone else manages to love me, so that answers that.

Just don't expect getting into a relationship to magically solve your self-esteem problems, being in a relationship with someone else can be really difficult if you have issues with who you are.

I agree with this.

No, you don't have to love yourself in order for someone to love you. However, if you allow your negative feelings about yourself to constantly rear their head in a (potential) relationship then that will most likely end up driving someone away.

It can be quite draining to try to be a positive person and to show confidence if you're feeling incredibly down about yourself. So it might not be a bad thing to take some time out from dating so that you can try to work on any issues regarding self-esteem that you're dealing with. Focus on becoming a happier person within yourself. Sometimes, though, people just come along into your life even though you might be having problems with self-acceptance, and in that case I wouldn't necessarily advise pushing them away instantly without giving things a chance. Like others have said, if we all waited until we felt perfectly content with ourselves, then we'd probably never get anywhere!

People can still love you even if you don't love yourself, but trying to do the latter is of course always something to work towards and will certainly make things easier, in all areas of life.

 

[Peter Attis]

I don't think the issue is if you don't love yourself, no one will love you. It's if you don't love yourself, how can you truly love someone else?

 

[meganmila]

There's a lot of people that don't love themselves and are in relationships. I don't know if I believe in this statement that much. Yeah I believe if you are too negative the other person will get tired of it but meh everybody has issues and some seems to do quite well.

 

[SilentLyric]

No, I don't think your self-perception has anything to do with your chances. Probably more on how social you are.

 

[John316C]

where are your parents? haven't they been there cultivating you? may i take a guess that your parents are not there for you as much as they are supposed to?
you need your father to give you guidance and direction in life and you need your mother to give you unconditional love

people WILL love you, but I personally have never found anyone... its the way society has become, SHALLOW, VAIN, and SELF-SERVING.

dont rely on it.

if you need to know if someone will love you because of you the answer is YES, they WILL Love You for just being (you). love comes in many forms, you just dont see the people there among the seas of people everyday.

 

[mik]

Yes, no one will love you.