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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I suffer from social anxiety and ive dated my boyfriend for almost a year.

I don't have friends. None at all because of my social anxiety. I met him by complete chance. He's the only person I see aside from my parents, i see him 6 days a week and he's the only person I see.

Thing is, he knows this.. he knows im a safe bet. He knows i wont stray from him and now he is showing interest in a girl who's his new housemate.

He talks about her all the time and I see that look in his eye when he talks about her. He used to have that for me once. :| I think he's going to leave me. Recently he doesn't spend time with me as much, he blew me off to spend the day with her last week.

But you know what hurts me the most?... If he leave me... I've got nothing, I've got nobody. He's my only friend. I rely on him for company. There will be a massive hole in my life without him, I'll be at home sitting by myself all day. I've got no friends to go out with to get over him.

I'm so depressed. It will kill me once and for all. He has plenty of friends, he's fine... this hurts so much.
 

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:hug

This sounds so tough heartbroken, but if you
could do it once. It can happen again. I really do believe that.
Maybe you could try your best not to rely on him as much as you can, even if it is by doing small things by yourself.
So if worse comes to worst you don't feel so helpless.
 

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I suffer from social anxiety and ive dated my boyfriend for almost a year.

I don't have friends. None at all because of my social anxiety. I met him by complete chance. He's the only person I see aside from my parents, i see him 6 days a week and he's the only person I see.

Thing is, he knows this.. he knows im a safe bet. He knows i wont stray from him and now he is showing interest in a girl who's his new housemate.

He talks about her all the time and I see that look in his eye when he talks about her. He used to have that for me once. :| I think he's going to leave me. Recently he doesn't spend time with me as much, he blew me off to spend the day with her last week.

But you know what hurts me the most?... If he leave me... I've got nothing, I've got nobody. He's my only friend. I rely on him for company. There will be a massive hole in my life without him, I'll be at home sitting by myself all day. I've got no friends to go out with to get over him.

I'm so depressed. It will kill me once and for all. He has plenty of friends, he's fine... this hurts so much.
Man, this makes me feel a bit bad since I've never had anything even close to a girlfriend and don't have any friends. I sit home all day by myself.
I guess I could tell you it's not so bad but I don't like lying.
 

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This is your chance to get motivated and meet other people to talk to. If he is doing this, so can you. You can have other friends. :yes
 

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This is your chance to get motivated and meet other people to talk to. If he is doing this, so can you. You can have other friends. :yes
This. One day at a time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I don't even know how to start meeting people anymore. And if I do, when they find out I have no friends they'll just see me as weird. How do you start making friends? I've got family but it's just my parents, im an only child.
 

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When I was 21 I left my first love because he had turned violent. I had no job, no car, no friends. I turned up at my Mum's house on my bike with a rucksack of clothes. I thought no-one would ever love me again.

My Mum found me a job and let me use her car. I made a friend at work, and got in touch with an old schoolfriend. I made the effort to go out in the evenings sometimes. Now I'm self-reliant and resilient, I have a lovely boyfriend and a few friends. I survived, so can you. Stay strong!
 

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:hug

This sounds so tough heartbroken, but if you
could do it once. It can happen again. I really do believe that.
Maybe you could try your best not to rely on him as much as you can, even if it is by doing small things by yourself.
So if worse comes to worst you don't feel so helpless.
I agree. Try being more independent and always have a back up plan in case you decide to leave him. Make sure you have somewhere to go or a place to stay temporarly.
 

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I don't even know how to start meeting people anymore. And if I do, when they find out I have no friends they'll just see me as weird. How do you start making friends? I've got family but it's just my parents, im an only child.
If you live in the USA there are free or donation only.. like put a dollar or loose change in a basket passed around occasionally..meetings

Recovery INc. is free nationwide

Depression and BiPolar support alliance...SA makes many people depressed too. is free nationwide

Meetup groups for anxiety, or other emotional problems. is free. look up meetup.com or meetups.com

There are local professionally run groups at psychological centers you have to pay for too but that may not be something you could do now or much but even to do it once you can keep in touch with some people

Dr. Richard's social anxiety CD's are good but they cost like 400

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I think the best way to make friends when you have problems with people in general is to go to free or not free support groups and talk about how you have specific problems functioning at school and work and with family members etc. that are true real stories.

and Not to say that you have trouble making friends. Talk about the other aspects of your life instead. Because there might be people there who will want to befriend you that you don't want to befriend and also the opposite sex can take advantage of you. In fact that might happen anyway even if you don't say you have a problem making friends

but when you are in any group, start saying to yourself who you like and who you don't like. People who are angry easily and curse too easily in every meeting might be people you don't like and they will bond with others that are likeminded. But remember who you like and their name and their "story" when they speak and then go up to them after the meeting or after a few meetings and comment on their story like that you can understand or you are sorry that that has happened. You can say hi and your name to some people and leave after the first few meetings without talking much to anyone but look for the people who you are most comfortable with and talk to them and exchange numbers. People that are your own gender as friends only and around your age, and talk about the rest of your life.

Then after you have talked to them a couple of times and they seem comfortable with you too, or it might be a few months even but with some of them try to make plans to go out with them for short periods like for a hour, or two or halfhour even if you have little time. And talk about the rest of your life. Just say you don't have many friends not that you don't have any. I think when you say you dont' have any friends it might make the other person feel put on the spot to have to be friendly with you and they might get scared off. They might think you will call them up all the time before a friendship is established but if you say you have a few friends but they don't always understand what you are going through that sounds much much better. Then see if the friendship develops normally. Maybe you can have a couple of friends from the support group that you see regularly and have your own small group. Although regularly may not be always so regularly and everyone may not be able to show up.

But you can make friends. Don't put up with this abuse from this guy. That sounds like it really really hurts. :( There are people you can befriend and keeping your dignity in tact. If you talk about your breakup in one of the groups, some women will understand that too.
 

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I could be wrong about how its not good to say that you don't have any close friends but to say that the few friends you have don't understand all that you are going through at times and you could be honest but I mean that is up to you to do. I really think that it is better to just try to work on your life and reveal that only and to try to look for people you feel comfortable to talk to and just make friends. I think that saying you have no friends is something you can say to a therapist because they are supposed to be sensitive and help you with ideas without taking advantage of you or being scared off. The same with parents it is okay to talk with them too in most cases.There are many ways to do things but you can and will find friends. Good luck :)
 

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Heartbroken, this guy sounds like a jerk. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. Sorry to hear what you are going through. I know how hard it is to let go someone you have made many memories with. But he doesnt sound like someone who would stay with you for long. Have you tried making friends from this forum?
 

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talk to him about it, ask him if he likes the new girl and that you feel he's losing interest in you.
now you have to make a few changes, join a class, gym or anything to get out of the house more, also try finding a few friends maybe start online and meet them in person, i know it's hard but it must be done. when a person feels like you can't live without them and depend on them for entertainment they may lose interest a bit (i know this from personal experience). so if you want to keep your bf or even if you will break up, you have to be prepared and when you take a few risks like joining the gym or something your bf will be impressed and will love your new attitude.
 

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That doesn't sound healthy for either of you if what UnderPressure says is right.

This is what I have saying to girls AND GUYS about not being afraid to be by yourself (for the short term). When we gain enough confidence in ourselves, our outlook changes, and therefore, the qualities we look for in a mate.

There appears to be codependency or something like that.
 
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