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자신을 사랑 해
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We're in the same neck of the woods. You say your dad has a degree in social work? I know it's not the same at all, but has he ever considered subbing with a school district as a paraeducator or bus driver. I know they are always hiring subs! A permanent position also is totally attainable if he would be interested.

Don't give up.
It will get better.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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2,957 Posts
I feel like your dad. Except the one who cares is my fiance, and my mom is killing me. And the world fires me.
 

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Chlorine and Wine
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12,105 Posts
Same problem with my mom sans the partner :/

That's why I hate so much when people talk about how all you have to do is work hard. They scream and berate us over opportunity but God forbid they ever have to live the truth... when capitalism decides to screw you and society turns its back on you. It's so painful to watch this person lose security and your security goes in turn. You used to think them unstoppable. Now you feel pained for them and hopeless for yourself.

But this. We get this? We have to settle for crap jobs? My mom was discriminated against because of her age... she doesn't have the luck that young people in her school program have. She's been going to school, struggling there, racking up bills while trying to hold down two jobs...

At least he has a degree, I guess. It might help eventually. But it still sucks, to get to that point and have it all taken away. Retirement gone, security gone, hard work up in smoke. America lies to us.

It's too bad about your mom. I'm sure she's scared and feeling the pressure. He might have to settle for a crap job until he gets something better. If the chips fall in his favor.
 

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N is your mom looking for a job?
Your dad is lucky to have u, it sounds like a very familiar story to me, my dad in his 60s n my mom telling him to get a rubbish job too, very similar situation, the house does be peaceful when she's not home, my dad on the laptop, n me doing my own thing too, then my mom comes in and its like a whirlwind has come in the door, verbal abuse n put downs for everyone yey!
 

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My dad was unemployed for most of my childhood. We immigrated here when I was child. In the U.S. your qualifications from other countries is pretty much useless. He never adapted like my mom who went back to school for nursing.

My mom was the backbone of the family and is great woman but she was also verbally abuse and not very supportive or encouraging. I'm not sure why most wives kick you when you're down.

Try paraprofessional or bus driver like Laysiaj mentioned. My dad finally swallowed his pride and took a job as a para at a local school. I would also recommend taxi driver. Anyone can be taxi driver. They are always hiring.

Also try to talk to your mom. Maybe give her book that explains that criticizing people is a poor method of motivation. Your mom wants your dad to find a job and she unconsciously thinks the verbal abuse will somehow motivate him.
 

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자신을 사랑 해
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1,420 Posts
My dad finally swallowed his pride and took a job as a para at a local school. I would also recommend taxi driver. Anyone can be taxi driver. They are always hiring.
I'm sure you didn't mean it, but you're reducing someone else's livelihood as lowly and not meaningful. Not everybody can be a para or taxi driver.
 

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Pastry Case
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1,065 Posts
Through absolutely no fault of his own (he was fired without being told why he was fired) he lost his job about eight months ago.

My mom, who has always been emotionally abusive, is now telling my emotionally tortured father that this is his fault, and that she wants to die because of how worried she is about money, and that's his fault, and how he should swallow his pride and just look for a job in fast food or retail (despite the fact that he spent the last ten years getting an advanced degree in social work, and it would utterly crush his dreams to throw that away and go back to retail).
It's possible, of course, that your dad does know why he was fired and he may even have told your mum why and they've decided not to tell you. This could account for your mum's attitude. If you think about it calmly, people don't just get fired from jobs without being told why(or rarely, anyway). It's probably illegal to do that especially in something like social work.

My mom was discriminated against because of her age... she doesn't have the luck that young people in her school program have. She's been going to school, struggling there, racking up bills while trying to hold down two jobs...
N is your mom looking for a job?
Your dad is lucky to have u, it sounds like a very familiar story to me, my dad in his 60s n my mom telling him to get a rubbish job too, very similar situation, the house does be peaceful when she's not home, my dad on the laptop, n me doing my own thing too, then my mom comes in and its like a whirlwind has come in the door, verbal abuse n put downs for everyone yey!
My dad was unemployed for most of my childhood. We immigrated here when I was child. In the U.S. your qualifications from other countries is pretty much useless. He never adapted like my mom who went back to school for nursing.

My mom was the backbone of the family and is great woman but she was also verbally abuse and not very supportive or encouraging. I'm not sure why most wives kick you when you're down.

Try paraprofessional or bus driver like Laysiaj mentioned. My dad finally swallowed his pride and took a job as a para at a local school. I would also recommend taxi driver. Anyone can be taxi driver. They are always hiring.

Also try to talk to your mom. Maybe give her book that explains that criticizing people is a poor method of motivation. Your mom wants your dad to find a job and she unconsciously thinks the verbal abuse will somehow motivate him.
These mums who are being 'verbally abusive' when they come home at the end of the day after working/studying/both, could it possibly be because nothing(or very little), has been done by the people who are at home all day? Has the laundry been done? Is the house clean? Shopping been done? A meal made? The washing up done? Vacuuming? Pets cared for? Perhaps instead of 'verbally abusing' or 'nagging' we could call it 'telling it like it is' or 'pointing out the facts'?
 

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Chlorine and Wine
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12,105 Posts
That usually is a problem.

When asked, I do what I'm told unless I forget. I've always wanted to learn to cook and I'm willing to do that too but I don't know what I'm doing. Several times I've suggested this but nothing. So I take care of the pets, mow the lawn, and do whatever is asked of me. I've never been taught to do any of this. And I can't help with cleaning. I truly believe we're both stuck in a state of paralysis from many years ago similar to what hoarders do when affected by a huge life change. They just sort of give up and let everything pile up around them. Things are messy as they always have been.

But she only gets snippy with me when she's stressed out and thinks I'm not being supportive enough. Because I've always had to be the sole support, no real chance of having a life of my own. I even give her all the money I get and I know that has been the biggest help in this situation.
 

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Banned
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Don't think too badly that it's your dad's fault. It's probably not his. It's probably other people who wanted to see him go. People are like that these days. Rats to each other at work. I remember at my last job, half the people kept acting like my job didn't matter or tried to make me feel guilty I even had my job, like I didn't deserve it probably because they knew someone else that needed a job and probably because I had SA they thought I shouldn't even belong in the "regular work world". Like minimized said, America lies to us.

Capitalism has run amuck. They've shipped 20 million jobs overseas. government and unions have fed in a circle and allowed themselves to spend and raise taxes for themselves. There isn't a real "wealth effect" when the last jobs report the AP news and everyone else did not dare to report 500k full time jobs were lost while more part-time jobs were gained. Something is seriously wrong when there are only part-time jobs and retail and fast food jobs left. We might have to accept we all will live like Russia and China did in the 80's , well most of us. 2 trillion or even more in corporate profits are held overseas to avoid taxes and it isn't sure going to be re-invested in America and create jobs for Americans.

The dept. of Ag and the gov't is so screwed up they make farmers throw away billions of dollars of excess food to help subsidize there businesses by keeping prices higher. They keep talking about helping 3rd world countries starving, yet they throw away billions in food, and even worse none of that food is to help U.S. citizens who need it.

Who knows what it really is. We had half the world population in the 80's. Economics is failing. Government can't help because bloated, they've become part of the problem. People won't just vote these bums out of office and start fresh with term limits for everyone. Maybe these are the end times.

but there's no need to feel too bad because that's what the elites want. They want everyone else depressed and unambitious. (ever read Dilbert?). your dad should be able to collect some ssi at 65 or 66. your family should be able to make a good case for food stamps. There are always food kitchens and food centers where you can just stop by and pick up basic food. it's even hard to apply for fast food jobs.

Take a look at this article by a "plutocrat" who decided to tell the truth:
http://www.politico.com/magazine/st...g-for-us-plutocrats-108014.html#superComments

And overall, sorry to be this blunt, but your dad is 60; hasn't he had a decent career run? I mean imagine we are all 60, as everyone one of us can't work like we were 20. It's impossible. It's really a waste to be not be supportive or not realize life is very short. Let's all vote, and vote better next time. Take care.
 
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