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Instead I have a physically abusive family, a family that gave me SA, depression, trauma, and nightmares, a family that kicked me out for not being related by blood and being the spawn of a biological father that is unknown.

I wish I had family to live with so I could pay off college debt, but I really don't have such a thing.

At the very least I wish I was an orphan as a child, maybe I would be in a different set of circumstances then.
 

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I'm glad I saw your post, my family is the same way. I always wished I was an orphan, then I wouldn't hate my family as much as I do, making me feel like a horrible person. My whole family sucks! They are selfish, gossip about each other, stuck up towards each other, the list goes on and on. My mom kicked me out for not giving her money for cigarettes.

Instead of feeling sad & depressed that NONE of my family ever made me feel loved/wanted, I try to look at it as they don't deserve my love. When I saw the title of this post I just had to write something. It's always nice reading people went through the same things I did.
 
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