Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 79 Posts

·
Retired Bingo Cook
Joined
·
11,401 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wish girls would ask me out and tell me they like me. My anxiety seems to be only be triggered by girls and every time I want to go up an talk to one. I freak out and instead of walking up to them, I walk away in the other direction. I wish that a girl would walk up to me and say. Hi my name is __________ and I like you and would like to go on a date with you. I think I can atleast get an Ok out without stumbling.
 

·
B 2 Lonely
Joined
·
1,077 Posts
I wish females would...


...possibly have lower standards, so more shy males can not be phased-out as much when trying to talk to them. or wear a shirt with exactly what they want, so it would save males some time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
118 Posts
Oh how I agree with you both, believe me I want the exact same thing.

I still have NOT asked ANY girls on a date yet, I'm too afraid they will tell their friends they think I'm creepy. Whenever I ask a girl to lunch she either makes excuses or says she will bring one of her friends/roommate.

If a girl was direct with me and actually showed me the way, I'd be a lot happier and just feel A LOT better in general.
 

·
giggling ******
Joined
·
11,070 Posts
But would the girls meet your "standards?" Both men and women should go after what they want. Unfortunately men usually have to take the lead, but at least we get to choose whom we pursue.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,723 Posts
"Heterosexual courtship certainly isn't fair. Shy guys tend to get a ****ty deal. So do fat girls"

Truth.
 

·
B 2 Lonely
Joined
·
1,077 Posts
But would the girls meet your "standards?" Both men and women should go after what they want. Unfortunately men usually have to take the lead, but at least we get to choose whom we pursue.
i have lowered my standards over the years, realizing that this is reality and that i can't be too picky. as long as they bathe and work, i am set.
 

·
thoughts are just thought
Joined
·
1,263 Posts
Well I suspect this topic will be closed down as it seems to be heading towards a "men have it worst" which is a taboo around here.

But before that happens I will chime in with my 2 cents.

I agree with everything that has been said but my advice is "get over it."

Sitting around saying "I wish the world was one way" does not solve anything... nothing. We want the world to be one way, but it's not, it's the other way.

Men have to be men. Think of it this way, 99% of the time who goes off to fight the war? Men. Well gentlemen SA is your war, if you want to win it you can't expect women to fight the war for you.

You have to stop sitting around thinking about how horrible your life is with SA, but think about how much better your life will be once you defeat SA.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,013 Posts
Well I suspect this topic will be closed down as it seems to be heading towards a "men have it worst" which is a taboo around here.

But before that happens I will chime in with my 2 cents.

I agree with everything that has been said but my advice is "get over it."

Sitting around saying "I wish the world was one way" does not solve anything... nothing. We want the world to be one way, but it's not, it's the other way.

Men have to be men. Think of it this way, 99% of the time who goes off to fight the war? Men. Well gentlemen SA is your war, if you want to win it you can't expect women to fight the war for you.

You have to stop sitting around thinking about how horrible your life is with SA, but think about how much better your life will be once you defeat SA.
Agreed...if you work hard and overcome the anxiety surrounding approaching a girl, you will be that much better off. Next time you're thinking about talking to a girl, JUST DO IT. Don't worry AT ALL about what comes after, just approach her and say HELLO. Even if you have nothing to say after that, at least you said something. That's where it STARTS.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,619 Posts
I wish girls would ask me out and tell me they like me. My anxiety seems to be only be triggered by girls and every time I want to go up an talk to one. I freak out and instead of walking up to them, I walk away in the other direction. I wish that a girl would walk up to me and say. Hi my name is __________ and I like you and would like to go on a date with you. I think I can atleast get an Ok out without stumbling.
I would be more inclined to ask a guy to hang out with me if I had any indication he was interested in me...and that's also if I was attracted to him. Of course, you can't know that I'm attracted to you, but I would certainly smile at you and try to let you know that I am. But, it seems that guys don't give me many signals that they're interested. So, it's very hard to just go up to them and ask them out if I have no idea if they're even remotely interested. And, if you're walking away from girls...it makes them think you don't like them.

Rejection is a huge fear of mine and I know it is for almost everyone with SA. I experience rejection in just making friends with girls. So, if I can't pass that hurdle with girls, I can't imagine overcoming it with guys...

Anyway, I understand your frustration. But, I think you should at least try smiling and saying "hey, how's it going" to the girl...show some sort of interest so she sees the signs. Whether she gets them or not, IDK...depends on the girl. It's a good start, and if she's outgoing enough, maybe she'll start a convo with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,013 Posts
I would be more inclined to ask a guy to hang out with me if I had any indication he was interested in me...and that's also if I was attracted to him. Of course, you can't know that I'm attracted to you, but I would certainly smile at you and try to let you know that I am. But, it seems that guys don't give me many signals that they're interested. So, it's very hard to just go up to them and ask them out if I have no idea if they're even remotely interested. And, if you're walking away from girls...it makes them think you don't like them.

Rejection is a huge fear of mine and I know it is for almost everyone with SA. I experience rejection in just making friends with girls. So, if I can't pass that hurdle with girls, I can't imagine overcoming it with guys...

Anyway, I understand your frustration. But, I think you should at least try smiling and saying "hey, how's it going" to the girl...show some sort of interest so she sees the signs. Whether she gets them or not, IDK...depends on the girl. It's a good start, and if she's outgoing enough, maybe she'll start a convo with you.
:D:yes:):boogie:) wink wink hello what's up how youuuu doin??
 

·
Top 5 Poster
Joined
·
6,051 Posts
The problem is that if a girl ever approached a guy, which happens but rarely, the guy would automatically assume that she wanted to sleep with Him ASAP and everyone would assume she is a ****
 

·
Freedom is lurking
Joined
·
809 Posts
The problem is that if a girl ever approached a guy, which happens but rarely, the guy would automatically assume that she wanted to sleep with Him ASAP and everyone would assume she is a ****
I wouldn't, unless she were to act/look ****ty.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,878 Posts
The problem is that if a girl ever approached a guy, which happens but rarely, the guy would automatically assume that she wanted to sleep with Him ASAP and everyone would assume she is a ****
Bollux!

They also want money :b
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,878 Posts
Oh Those girls
Hate those moments when a girl goes 'hi' all rosy eyed and you think 'whyyy hello' and then she replies 'can you take a photo of me and my mate'

NO F____ OFF!! For getting my hopes up. :b

Of course I say yes though.
 

·
Freedom is lurking
Joined
·
809 Posts
That is how society looks at it
Nah, I don't think it does anymore. And if more girls were to do it, the more normal it would become. But hey, maybe we're comparing apples and oranges, as in Europe vs USA/Canada :b
 

·
Top 5 Poster
Joined
·
6,051 Posts
Nah, I don't think it does anymore. And if more girls were to do it, the more normal it would become. But hey, maybe we're comparing apples and oranges, as in Europe vs USA :b
Why would most girls do it, its a mans job.

It shows the woman if he has any balls at all, because if he cant even approach her how can she expect him to do anything for her, and protect her.

Thats the way it works whether we like it or not. Its this way in nearly all the animal kingdom.

The man approaches the women, and shows his bravery
 

·
Freedom is lurking
Joined
·
809 Posts
Why would most girls do it, its a mans job.

It shows the woman if he has any balls at all, because if he cant even approach her how can she expect him to do anything for her, and protect her.

Thats the way it works whether we like it or not. Its this way in nearly all the animal kingdom.

The man approaches the women, and shows his bravery
Aww we no longer live in caves, man. It's far more a cultural issue than it is instinctive.
 
1 - 20 of 79 Posts
Top