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I think molestation caused my SA

6370 Views 24 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  medea
It was my uncle, it was repeated, and i was around 8 or 9 or so.

I think that the shame I have felt growing up, and the fact that my parents kept silent about the whole thing even though they knew, reinforcing a feeling of shame and silence, may not have helped. I wasn't able to be proud of who I was, and the anxiety issues I have are closely related to feeling powerless and not able to be who I am. I always felt somehow different from my peers but could never put my finger on it. Just recently I am beginning to realize how deeply the molestation really did affect me, and it doesn't seem a far stretch to say my problems relating to people could have to do with the damage done to my psyche during my formative years. I have gone through a lot of weird mental crap lately as I began to realize these things...

But on the upside, my anxiety has been getting a lot better, at least so far as I have a lot more courage now and I can deal with people easier. On the downside my old problems have been replaced with other problems, and I often have been feeling like I am losing my mind. But it's not as bad as feeling like I am living a half-life due to anxiety, which was how I always felt. Anyway, just thought I would share.
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Thank you for the support. I was afraid to read the replies. I am happy that I was not critisized, and I am sorry that others have experienced similar things.

These child molesters do not realize the profound impact they are having on these lives- Lives they are screwing up.

It tears me up inside and I wish some brutal harm could come to these people... I do not know for certain whether or not my molestation caused me to feel like a lesser person than other people, or whether or not it was my parents' parenting style, or genes, or what...

All I know is that I want my life to get better, and that I know that my uncle affected me badly to an extent where if I see his name it seriously disturbs me. To this day if I say his name it gives me chills. I don't know, I could drone on and on...

I just ... wish I had some answers.
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