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If you met at an SA meetup, he probably has very similar thoughts as you do. That can make it hard to connect at first, and maybe you take his silence as judgment. But I bet he just doesn't know what to say to you either. I'm sure he didn't think you were whiny; if he's another SA sufferer, then how could he think negatively of you for expressing the difficulties he probably shares with you?

It might be hard for two socially anxious people to strike up a friendship because you're probably both very vigilant of what you say and how you come across. But maybe try and take comfort in knowing that he's similar to you and encourage him to express himself like you have done. Maybe he has more severe symptoms than you do, so maybe you'll have to coax him a little more. If he doesn't respond at all to your reaching out, maybe it's not best to hang out with him too much, because that's going to make you feel bad and even more unsure of yourself.

I've had socially anxious friends too, and there has been a lot of silence and a lot of awkwardness, but over time, we have been able to connect and to commiserate and even try new things and challenges (aka going shopping or something lol) together and it can be good to have someone similar around. Good luck and I hope you can make a connection.
 
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