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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I met somebody at a social anxiety meetup and we talked for a little bit. I talked to him a little bit about my anxiety now I think that he thinks that I'm whiny. This is the second time I meet him, we ended up going to a bar, I didn't feel comfortable there, I didn't even drink, maybe I should of. I'm afraid to talk to him now cause now I feel like I came off as whiny and I don't know if we really have anything else in common.
 

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hmm kudos for having the guts to go to a meet up... what makes you think he thinks you're whiny?
Bars are kind of a hard place to talk especially if you're really nervous. If you were just nervous i'm sure he could see that and didn't think you were whiny
 

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Hmm. You might be making this worse in your head than it actually is in reality. You may think he thought you were whiny, but he may have thought you were pretty cool. You never know, so I would say just to keep meeting up with him. I feel like the more you do, the more you will get over the negative fears and be able to enjoy yourself.
 

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I met somebody at a social anxiety meetup
Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks that you think that HE is the whiny one. And maybe he's overthinking right now, thinking about how awkward the bar thing went :b But seeing that you guys met at a social anxiety meetup, maybe he feels that he can relate to you and feels comfortable around you. Keep on meeting up with him!
 

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If you met at an SA meetup, he probably has very similar thoughts as you do. That can make it hard to connect at first, and maybe you take his silence as judgment. But I bet he just doesn't know what to say to you either. I'm sure he didn't think you were whiny; if he's another SA sufferer, then how could he think negatively of you for expressing the difficulties he probably shares with you?

It might be hard for two socially anxious people to strike up a friendship because you're probably both very vigilant of what you say and how you come across. But maybe try and take comfort in knowing that he's similar to you and encourage him to express himself like you have done. Maybe he has more severe symptoms than you do, so maybe you'll have to coax him a little more. If he doesn't respond at all to your reaching out, maybe it's not best to hang out with him too much, because that's going to make you feel bad and even more unsure of yourself.

I've had socially anxious friends too, and there has been a lot of silence and a lot of awkwardness, but over time, we have been able to connect and to commiserate and even try new things and challenges (aka going shopping or something lol) together and it can be good to have someone similar around. Good luck and I hope you can make a connection.
 

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Fading Away
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the replies everybody, I'm seeing him again next week.
 
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