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Even if it is the most ordinary mundane thing i still do. It makes conversations exhausting too. Anyone else have this problem and know how to do deal with it.
 

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I'm much the same way, i will sit for hours after a conversation wondering if i said the right things, if i sounded strange, thinking of things i wish i had said instead, wondering what the other persons impression was. Pretty much picking apart the social encounter and worrying about something that i cant change. I think the only real solution is is accept that you cant change the past and try not to worry about the could and should haves.
 

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Done with SA
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I used to feel that way all the time. Seconds after I'd say something or an exchange, I'd regret everything I said. Go over it over and over again, wondering what I could have said differently or if I should have said something at all.
Finally, I realized, most people forget what you say minutes, if not second later. So, when I talk, I stop myself from rethinking/regretting what I said by telling myself they'll forget about it. Now, I don't stress over it as much.
 

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Even if it is the most ordinary mundane thing i still do. It makes conversations exhausting too. Anyone else have this problem and know how to do deal with it.
Yes, I understand completely. I'll think to myself, "I'll try and make a contribution". You do, and then all faces drop a country mile. ****'em I say. That's why I don't contribute anymore. Not unless I'm asked. The problem is, people think they are so smart, and if you're a bit reserved, they tend to look down on you and treat anything you've got to say with disdain. But my problem is, I hate people too! I won't harm them, but that doesn't mean I have to like them. People have done nothing to me but cause me grief and hurt. I avoid them like infectious diseases now.

At work, most people either talk about footy or sex. I personally can't be bothered listening or wasting energy contributing.
 

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sa challenger
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Yesterday at church I was standing by myself and another woman was too. I asked her a really dumb question, which took me a few minutes and psyching myself to ask. I asked, "weren't you in the new members group not too long ago?" and she said no, we've been members here for awhile." I swear I'd seen her in the class, so I said, "It may have been 6 months ago". She said maybe, but she'd been member awhile" I asked, " Are you married?" because I was still trying to place her. She said yes. Anyway, I felt anxious and embarrassed for asking the questions, then I felt like I was invading her privacy and I thought she thought I thought there was something wrong with her because she had a little girl with her and no husband with her. I said " the woman I'm thinking of had a baby" and she said " It could've been her (daughter). I wanted to get away because I felt I botched the conversation. I was trying to get closer to her, because she seems shy/quiet, and she was alone, and I'm pretty sure she was the girl at the meetings.

I am still obsessing about this mini conversation and I may not ever talk to her again, because, uh, there was no chemistry? This may be what it's like when two socially anxious people talk. Or, she may just not like me, because I'm so intrusive and obviously not coveted socially because I was standing alone. This is why it's easier for me now to approach a small group of people. Someone else is always talking and I can just say mmhmm and not stand out. If the group breaks up though, I find that I am often the last person standing
 

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Yeah so do I. Sometimes it's the being embarassed that's embarassing. If I get confirmation I feel better about it. If I tell a joke and people laugh, if they don't it's a little uncomfortable but... I used to beat myself up about things alot more than I do now. I think it's good to try to live completely in the now. What's done is done and you have a right to not always say the right things. And getting used to blurting things out rather than rehearsing it in your head first that only causes problems.

epril I don't see anything wrong with that conversation, maybe the woman was being a little standoffish which isn't your problem.
 

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Coffee me.
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I do the post-conversation mull too. I try to remember most people while in a conversation are just waiting for their turn to speak and they just barely listen enough so they can relate one thing you have said with some experience in their life.
 

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Kind of Like me

Yes, I understand completely. I'll think to myself, "I'll try and make a contribution". You do, and then all faces drop a country mile. ****'em I say. That's why I don't contribute anymore. Not unless I'm asked. The problem is, people think they are so smart, and if you're a bit reserved, they tend to look down on you and treat anything you've got to say with disdain. But my problem is, I hate people too! I won't harm them, but that doesn't mean I have to like them. People have done nothing to me but cause me grief and hurt. I avoid them like infectious diseases now.

At work, most people either talk about footy or sex. I personally can't be bothered listening or wasting energy contributing.
I am basically the same way, I dont hate people, but I do tend to avoid large or medium size groups. The same thing happens to me when I try to contribute to the conversation. I am the type of person, [say for instance] when there is a conversation going I dont say anything if I dont know anything about the topic or facts, but then people look at you like your being better than them are stuck up.
 

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staring

I also have a problem with looking someone in the eye. You might say I look in their eyes to much. I don't know when to break contact, which people think that I'm staring at them but actually I'm listening to what they have to say. I don't know maybe its the facial expression, I kinda look like Ice Cube and you know he's naturally mean looking, so with that and a stare:um
 

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Gentle Impulsion
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Yeah, I'm regretting the last two things I said. In fact, I think I'm regretting everything I've said so far today. Even this message I'll regret saying. That's so sad on my part...
 

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Still Running
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Yes, I understand completely. I'll think to myself, "I'll try and make a contribution". You do, and then all faces drop a country mile. ****'em I say. That's why I don't contribute anymore. Not unless I'm asked. The problem is, people think they are so smart, and if you're a bit reserved, they tend to look down on you and treat anything you've got to say with disdain. But my problem is, I hate people too! I won't harm them, but that doesn't mean I have to like them. People have done nothing to me but cause me grief and hurt. I avoid them like infectious diseases now.

At work, most people either talk about footy or sex. I personally can't be bothered listening or wasting energy contributing.
:boogie That's what I'm talkin about! Yea!
 
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