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First of all forgive me if i posted this on a wrong forum but i had just joined this site a few hours ago...

So my story goes like this.

I started skipping school when i was about 12, in 6th grade and it has been three years since i suffer from this "school refusal behavior". It all started when i just feel like everyone hates me because i barely do anything but i still can get straight A's on all my exams. So i just skips school once in a while at first, but then it becomes weeks, eventually months. I am now currently in my sophomore year and i haven't been to school in approximately 3 months (school started on the 2nd of jan here and i have been absent since about late feb).

I go to counseling session every Wednesday and take antidepressants (which i threw it out couple of months ago because i feel like its kinda worthless), so far nothing has worked on me. I still really hate school and i cant even bear the thought of it. I have no friends at school because i dont really know how to get along with people, i never really had a best friend even during elementary years. I just feel like everyone hates me.

Honestly i don't really know what to do anymore... I just feel like i wanna die but i am afraid of death itself so im just stuck in between it. I don't wanna live, but i dont wanna die... Everytime my dad drove past the school gate every freaking morning that im actually trying to get inside the school compound, i just break down so bad that i feel if i can just keep crying and crying i can die from it and i will never have to see the freaking school building itself.

So... any advice for me would be appreciated because i really can't keep going like this anymore... I wanna have a job. I wanna go to a college. And i dont wanna let my parents down.
 

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ask about going to a private school? or being transferred? I'm sure if you went to a completely new place with completely new people it would help... People can't hate you if they don't even know you... and with as much school as you skip I'm sure most people you go to school with don't know you...

Why do you think everyone hates you?
 

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School refusal is a common byproduct of social anxiety disorder in young people. You should try cognitive behavioral therapy.
 

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try and force yourself to go I hated school from my frist week I had more days off then I went maybe I had social anxiety back then I don't know I had friends but in primary I only had 3 max and one in my final year but we were not best friends I never had one I have always been the one they hang around if nobody else was there and my whole class end up hating me then in high school I end up with about 15 friends then they would tell me go away hang around with someone else I felt so low I had water in my eyes for the whole of lunch then 3rd year in to high school I left and dropped out biggest mistake I made should of keep going now im working a job I hate because I cant get a better one without high school certificate and I wake up hoping this will be my last day of this life I can live without friends and girlfriend but no money as well that makes life 100x worse
 

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ask about going to a private school? or being transferred? I'm sure if you went to a completely new place with completely new people it would help... People can't hate you if they don't even know you... and with as much school as you skip I'm sure most people you go to school with don't know you...

Why do you think everyone hates you?
Try this
 

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hey, hope you are feeling a little better. I used to have the same problem you did at a school I went to. I started to ditch school a lot and I ended up getting in trouble for it. I ended up having to transfer to another school and I was much happier there, but I was lucky because a very old friend of mine happened to be there too so she stuck up for me and helped me get by when I was first starting out.

If changing schools doesnt work for you maybe you could do an independant study program or an online school? have you heard of k-12 it has high school courses that you can do completely online.

Feel better! I know how much it sucks and now that I am out of school I am having the same problem but with work.
 

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hey, hope you are feeling a little better. I used to have the same problem you did at a school I went to. I started to ditch school a lot and I ended up getting in trouble for it. I ended up having to transfer to another school and I was much happier there, but I was lucky because a very old friend of mine happened to be there too so she stuck up for me and helped me get by when I was first starting out.

If changing schools doesnt work for you maybe you could do an independant study program or an online school? have you heard of k-12 it has high school courses that you can do completely online.

Feel better! I know how much it sucks and now that I am out of school I am having the same problem but with work.
 

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Well I definitely know how you feel. School is terrible. But you do have other options. You can look into taking classes online. That way you wouldn't actually have to show up anywhere, just complete your assignments at home in your pajamas if you wanted.
Another option is just switching schools. Maybe you would feel better with a fresh start and a new group of people.
I think the reason you start to panic at school is because you've reinforced the fear by not showing up. When you skip school for so long, it becomes harder to picture yourself actually going every again because you've imagined it to be a lot worse when in reality you would probably be fine! The first day would be hard to get back into the swing of things but I think if you started going everyday you will become more comfortable and better your chances of making friends.
 
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