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LookingForMyLife
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just feel more comfotable talking to women about issues than men. I talk to guys about guy stuff, and maybe a little about problems. But I just dont feel right talking to guys about the real personal stuff. My counselor is a woman, and it works out great. Anyways, do you think that is wrong?
 

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As long as you're talking about it then it shouldn't matter what gender they are.
This. If you're talking about it to whomever you feel comfortable with, that's generally a good thing. Exceptions: your drug dealer, airport security, the deaf.

(I kid)
 

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anhedonic
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It wouldn't seem that way, but it's covert sexism. Not your fault, but a lot of women are socialized to be nurturing. Even in work environments, a lot of people go to women to talk about their problems, so there's the caring mother stereotype. Many men are socialized to be tough and unemotional and to not talk about their problems with other men. I realize that these are generalizations, but hey - my two cents.
 

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There's nothing wrong with that. If you feel most comfortable talking to a woman about private issues, it's okay. That's why counseling services always ask whether you'd like a male or female counselor.
 

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It wouldn't seem that way, but it's covert sexism. Not your fault, but a lot of women are socialized to be nurturing. Even in work environments, a lot of people go to women to talk about their problems, so there's the caring mother stereotype. Many men are socialized to be tough and unemotional and to not talk about their problems with other men. I realize that these are generalizations, but hey - my two cents.
Women are not only conditioned to be nurturing, they are designed by nature so they raise kids instead of dumping them(obviously this plan isn't foolproof).

I have an adversion to talking about my problems, because no one wants to hear that **** anyway.
Even counsolers are only there to get their cash, I would rather talk to a brick wall, same result and is free.
 

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Little Winged One
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How could it possibly be wrong? I think we can all agree,women are far superior to men! You're just using good judgement! HaHa - just kidding!!
 

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LookingForMyLife
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
It wouldn't seem that way, but it's covert sexism. Not your fault, but a lot of women are socialized to be nurturing. Even in work environments, a lot of people go to women to talk about their problems, so there's the caring mother stereotype. Many men are socialized to be tough and unemotional and to not talk about their problems with other men. I realize that these are generalizations, but hey - my two cents.
Opinions are always welcome, but I am in no way sexist!!!:wtfdude!!!! Think before you type!!!
Thanks to evreyone else for their opinions, but not getting out of line with them. Everyone is entitled to say what they want, but some people, I guess dont realize what comes out of their mouth!!! If I took you the wrong way, I apologize!!! I just am deffinetaly not sexist! Read my response to shyvr6, or my first post.
 

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SAS Member
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I don't think he's calling you a sexist. I think he's saying that you naturally lean towards telling woman your problems because they are more nurturing.
 

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LookingForMyLife
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I don't think he's calling you a sexist. I think he's saying that you naturally lean towards telling woman your problems because they are more nurturing.
I think he is deffinetaly sterotyping women for one, even though he claims not to be. And he said "its not my fault", really, and he knows this how? I dont like to talk to men about my issues because I am just the kind of guy who likes to talk about guy stuff with men, but thats just me. However, you have a point about women being nurturing, but not all women are like that. But yea, the nuturing thing is probably one reason for me talking to women about it.
Thanks for comments:)
 

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Fitting In Here & There
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Hi to everybody in this thread...I don't know who's being sexist or not. I don't think anyone can judge someone else just from one post that may either have come out wrong, or, is being interpreted wrong. It's hard to judge a person with only a little info.

Anyway, speaking from just my own experience...In general, I do not get along with other females. So I don't see them as nurturing, rather the opposite (backstabbing & unreliable). Males have always been easier for me to hang around with, confide in, have fun with, trust, understand, communicate with, etc. And even tho I'm a female, I have NEVER considered myself to be nurturing. If I am, that's fine, but I'd rather be: a good example, fun, smart, a leader, outspoken, a rebel, etc. I guess I see nurturing as some kind of weakness, even tho everyone needs it sometimes. (I didn't get much "nurturing" in my childhood--my mother died when I was 5, and from 8-18 I was abused by my stepmother emotionally and physically, so I'm a bit prejudiced cuz I haven't had any positive relationships with females (other than my mother)...that's my excuse)

Whether a male or female is better for therapy, is totally up to the individual situation. I had a male therapist for 4 yrs, and then a female for 3 yrs. Neither one of them "cured" me, but I'd much rather go back to the emotionally distant, but intellectually brilliant, male counselor than the ditzy female who was loose with boundaries and that I felt like she was trying to control me too much, plus she caused some unhealthy dependence on her that just does not mesh with my independent personality. The male left me on my own too much, and the female suffocated me.

It's like Golie Locks & the 3 Bears--Papa Bear was too X, Mama Bear was too Y, and now I need to find the Baby Bear who is just right!! :yes
 

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anhedonic
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Opinions are always welcome, but I am in no way sexist!!!:wtfdude!!!! Think before you type!!!
Thanks to evreyone else for their opinions, but not getting out of line with them. Everyone is entitled to say what they want, but some people, I guess dont realize what comes out of their mouth!!! If I took you the wrong way, I apologize!!! I just am deffinetaly not sexist! Read my response to shyvr6, or my first post.
Oh no, I didn't mean to say that you are sexist. (It does look in my post like I'm saying that, but I never come across well online, or, well, in real life.) I was just *****ing about life. :)

I'm sorry I came across that way.
 

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LookingForMyLife
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Oh no, I didn't mean to say that you are sexist. (It does look in my post like I'm saying that, but I never come across well online, or, well, in real life.) I was just *****ing about life. :)

I'm sorry I came across that way.
Hey, its allright man. I may have took it a little too much to heart. I just take exception to being called sexist or racist. I hate those things. But dont worry about it, it is no big deal. The fact that you clarified your remarks shows that you care about what you say!!! Apology accepted!!!
 

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Its funny, i have trouble talking to women! but yeah, it doesnt matter what sex, as long as ur speaking to people. theres no shame in just talking to just males/females.
 

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I'm a woman, and I can open up A LOT more to guys. I honestly prefer males as friends over females. The problem with this is that the guy always ends up liking me, and I have to let him go, because otherwise it'll never just be a friendship. It sucks...

But no I don't think it's wrong.
 

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Is it wrong? No, its right. Sharing things is part of the journey towards growth, or at the very least towards greater mental health. Learning to stop being afraid of sharing is important, but compulsive sharing is simply replacing one problem with another. The idea is to stop being afraid of doing the things you want to do, not to change what you want to do to fit someone else's ideas of what's right.
 

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I've only ever told a few people about my SAD but never told any women about my problem, how would I do it, how do you do it? If you could give an example of how you would say it, and also how do they react does it turn them off say if they're interested?
 

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LookingForMyLife
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I've only ever told a few people about my SAD but never told any women about my problem, how would I do it, how do you do it? If you could give an example of how you would say it, and also how do they react does it turn them off say if they're interested?
See, I wouldnt tell a girl who I was pursuing. I was talking about talking to female counselors or doctors or people on this site, so I cant really help you much there. Sorry, but Good Luck!!!
 

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See, I wouldnt tell a girl who I was pursuing. I was talking about talking to female counselors or doctors or people on this site, so I cant really help you much there. Sorry, but Good Luck!!!
....and some guys at SAS, too! :yes
 

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I find I relate MUCH better to females than other males. I much prefer the company of women, even though (before I met my wife) I would totally freeze and never know what to say to a girl. I guess it had something to do with the fact that my wife and I were friends before we got romantically attached that we got together at all :) I don't know if this has anything to do with SAD though. I just find women much more interesting (in general) than men.
 
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