Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
488 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Some of you may have known from my previous thread that I was set up on a blind date with some girl by my friends. I texted her for weeks though we never spoke on the phone, and we can only see each other on weekends considering I go to school an hour away. She postoned our weekend dates 3 times, and I just stopped texting her after that.

I feel horrible. I really liked her just based on our text messages, and we sent pictures of each other, and she's really cute. We would text each other for an hour everyday. This is all new to me as I have never had a girlfriend or a date in my life. It was great to have a girl to text every night, it felt wonderful. It sucks because this is the perfect girl for me. she's cute and she's smart. She is alot like me as she does not have very much experience in relationships as she has only dated one guy for a month or so in her life, but she's is 18 almost 19 how much experience could she possibly have. I'm 24 and I never kissed a girl in my life. I was really excited about going on a date and I was hoping that it would work out so that I would finally have a gf. After she postponed our date for the third time I stopped texting her and I cried for three days straight, and didn't talk to anyone. This sucks, its time to find someone else. Do you guys think I made the right decision by not texting her anymore?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
256 Posts
If she has SA then it would explain her cancelling perhaps because she is nervous.


If it bothers you to that point, you should probably call her or at least text her and tell ask if she really wants to meet or just be text buddies or stop contact or etc.



If not it seems like the "what if"s are going to rip away at you. Brave up the courage, realize you have nothing to lose and ask her. It can help you confirm that moving on is the right decision or not. You will probably feel better if you do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
488 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
If she has SA then it would explain her cancelling perhaps because she is nervous.

If it bothers you to that point, you should probably call her or at least text her and tell ask if she really wants to meet or just be text buddies or stop contact or etc.

If not it seems like the "what if"s are going to rip away at you. Brave up the courage, realize you have nothing to lose and ask her. It can help you confirm that moving on is the right decision or not. You will probably feel better if you do.
I would but it would make me seem too desperate for a date, which i am of course, but I don't want to show it. Also it has been 2 weeks since I last text her so it would seem really awkward at that point.
 

·
PreciousGleamingMcNugget
Joined
·
5,593 Posts
If you still want to talk to her, but don't want to seem really obvious, maybe you could send her a text and make it out to be a forward. You could send her a picture or joke in a text and make it out that you sent it to everyone in your phone. Or pretend you sent her a text my accident meant for someone else. I've done that before to start a conversation when I was too nervous to just say "hi." I know what that's like.

If she responds, you can start a conversation, mention that you haven't talked in a while, just casually ask what's going on. Then wait a while to text her again. If it keeps up the same way after that, then it probably isn't going to happen. But you shouldn't give up!
 

·
The Phoenix
Joined
·
381 Posts
If you still want to talk to her, but don't want to seem really obvious, maybe you could send her a text and make it out to be a forward. You could send her a picture or joke in a text and make it out that you sent it to everyone in your phone. Or pretend you sent her a text my accident meant for someone else. I've done that before to start a conversation when I was too nervous to just say "hi." I know what that's like.

If she responds, you can start a conversation, mention that you haven't talked in a while, just casually ask what's going on. Then wait a while to text her again. If it keeps up the same way after that, then it probably isn't going to happen. But you shouldn't give up!
Dude, I was in the same exact situation not too long ago. You need to just move on. The longer you try to rationalize and try to keep making something out of nothing the longer it will take to get over it. It sucks, I won't lie there but there really isn't anything you can do about it. If she calls YOU maybe try asking one last time, but other than that I don't think I would spend my time trying to keep pushing.

As the saying goes, "The ball is in their court now". It sucks. A lot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
488 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
If you still want to talk to her, but don't want to seem really obvious, maybe you could send her a text and make it out to be a forward. You could send her a picture or joke in a text and make it out that you sent it to everyone in your phone. Or pretend you sent her a text my accident meant for someone else. I've done that before to start a conversation when I was too nervous to just say "hi." I know what that's like.

If she responds, you can start a conversation, mention that you haven't talked in a while, just casually ask what's going on. Then wait a while to text her again. If it keeps up the same way after that, then it probably isn't going to happen. But you shouldn't give up!
I don't think I am going to text her again, I just hope that she texts me back sometime. Everytime she postponed she would apologize for the postponement.I don't know how I can get a date without my friends setting me up with one, because I can't start a convo with a random girl in one of my classes for the life of me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
462 Posts
Maybe she has sa too? Or is nervous? You should talk to her on the phone. Talking through text message only is very impersonal. Not that I'm telling you what to do or anything lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
488 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Maybe she has sa too? Or is nervous? You should talk to her on the phone. Talking through text message only is very impersonal. Not that I'm telling you what to do or anything lol.
Yea, but I am afraid that talking on the phone I would not be able to keep a great conversation going. Having SA I would get really nervous talking on the phone especially when phone convo's are more dynamic than text messaging. I mean what if I couldn't think of something to say. Thanks for your help though. I think its time just to move on and find someone else.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top