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Discussion Starter #1
but what the hell.

I'm 17 years old, a female, and I've been living with SAD for at least 5 years. It's destroyed my life.
I was always extremely shy as a little girl but grew out of it, it was no big deal.. until I entered junior high and all of my friends had either moved away or moved on. I was completely friendless and remembered some bullying I had faced in grade school; kids making fun of my acne (which granted was out of control) and my weight, mostly. Suddenly I was self-aware and self conscious to the point of insanity. I wore big baggie hoodies to hide my body, even during the 100 degree summer days, and baggy blue jeans. I'd never let anyone see me with my hair up. Never made eye contact and never spoke. Just doing whatever I could to hide because I didn't want anyone to look at me and see how hideous I was. I made one friend in all of junior high (and I'm proud to say that she is still one of the 4 friends I have today).

I've developed a pretty good case of mental instabilities over the years~ ranging from disorders to addictions. I'm really hoping to get everything straightened out soon. I'm hoping one day I'll wake up and realize it was all just a dream, and I'm actually normal and have a normal life.. with friends and drama and love and loss. and great stories. or I'll just snap out of it and realize exactly what I've been doing wrong and exactly what I need to do. So far it's not looking good, it seems pretty real. ha. All I know right now is I am almost 18 years old and I'm supposed to be ready to take on all of these responsibilities and ****, become an adult and live on my own. but I'm not. I haven't had a boyfriend in 5 years, I haven't had a really close friend in 5 years.I'm ready to stop being so shy and stop being so ashamed of myself, get out there, make some friends, and party like every other typical high school experience.

so yeah. wow. Maybe that's why I don't introduce myself. Sorry :um

I hope to talk with all of you. Cheers
 

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Hey SourD :wel
 

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Hello and welcome :) First kiss on Valentine's Day? How romantic, that's lovely! I can relate to having trouble swith friends moving away - that always seems to be my problem. Oh, and nobody magically turns into a grown-up when they hit 18 ;)
 

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:wel
 

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i quit uni, and have returned to 16 having mother all over me, because i can barely study, pay rent anymore due to a knockout of anxiety which has had me in an ambulance a few times and other things. everyone looks so perfect on tv, at their work stations, but we never see those who hide behind the blinds and locked doors suffering, and now i know...

are you like this... i can barely dress sometimes its embarassing... i've pushed my friends away, i hope you dont
 

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Welcome, SourD! :)
 
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