Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
To put my dilema into context I will have to go back to how it all started...

11 years ago this October, when I was 10 years old, I was violently attacked by two men, aged 21 and 18. I was beaten over the shoulder by these men with a plank of wood. Ever since I found it hard to even step outside my front door, and knowing the attackers lived not too far away didn't help. Soon they moved away and I started getting a little better but they came back and I went down hill again.

Fast forwarding to now, I still hadn't been outside my home in all that time, not on my own at least, but now I am in University and living on my own, a huge step for me, and I'm proud I did it....but the problem is this:

I haven't made a single friend yet, I try my best to talk to people as much as I can, but I'm scared, I shake so much I look like an idiot. At first they understood, but recently they have started to ignore me, talk as if I'm not there and when I try to talk they disappear to somewhere else and just leave me in the dark.

I'm terrified that I wont be able to make friends here, I'm scared that the rest of my life will be spent alone, I dont know what to do anymore... I just want to quit and hide away in my room untill I die.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Why would they want to beat up on you???
For 17 years I haven't made friends...
You haven't either for 21 years...

What makes you think that it will change??

I' m sorry but we got to be rational... at least I am. Would you rather hallucinate friends? I can give you mine.. he's so annoying sometimes..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
67 Posts
I'm really sorry about what happened to you, and that it had such an impact on your life.

I really know how you feel. I always wonder if people just hate me and never want to speak to me. Don't really have any good friends at school. We can be loners together, how depressing. :clap

You could try and find people from your university online if it's possible. That way you could get to know someone and explain you're kind of anxious, so it would be easier when you meet up. Then if you became comfortable with them, you might meet their friends.

You could join some clubs at university or outside of it. It could be difficult at first though.

About the people you have already talked to, and don't want to talk now, try explaining your situation. You could say it's kind of difficult for you and you aren't completely settled at university yet, and you're sorry if you came off a certain way. Try to be approachable.

I understand the last part. I feel like that sometimes. There's always hope. Just try to occupy your time as much as possible and let life happen instead of worrying about it.

I hope you feel better, remember that you're worth as much as everyone else.

Good luck! :boogie
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'm really sorry about what happened to you, and that it had such an impact on your life.

I really know how you feel. I always wonder if people just hate me and never want to speak to me. Don't really have any good friends at school. We can be loners together, how depressing. :clap

You could try and find people from your university online if it's possible. That way you could get to know someone and explain you're kind of anxious, so it would be easier when you meet up. Then if you became comfortable with them, you might meet their friends.

You could join some clubs at university or outside of it. It could be difficult at first though.

About the people you have already talked to, and don't want to talk now, try explaining your situation. You could say it's kind of difficult for you and you aren't completely settled at university yet, and you're sorry if you came off a certain way. Try to be approachable.

I understand the last part. I feel like that sometimes. There's always hope. Just try to occupy your time as much as possible and let life happen instead of worrying about it.

I hope you feel better, remember that you're worth as much as everyone else.

Good luck! :boogie
Thank you...I'm just trying to get by like I have all my life, but its getting harder and harder with everyone preaching you need friends at University or your time is wasted...I've joined some clubs but I'm not sure if they are the best for me.

I think it has upset me more because I have pushed and pushed all my life to get better on my own because professionals wont help me, and I made it this far only to be knocked down...

I've even asked if I can start a club so I can meet people who have similar interests to mine, but right now I feel like it all amounted to nothing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
703 Posts
Well damn the last two paragraphs sound so much like I could have written them. I think its great you are on your own now, that must have taken some courage. Everytime I try and make friends I fail at it and just get hurt more, now it seems that I'm so conditioned to not having friend's and fu*king things up that I can't seem to succeed no matter how much I try. It's a horrible feeling when you start to think you will be alone forever lately that's all I think about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well damn the last two paragraphs sound so much like I could have written them. I think its great you are on your own now, that must have taken some courage. Everytime I try and make friends I fail at it and just get hurt more, now it seems that I'm so conditioned to not having friend's and fu*king things up that I can't seem to succeed no matter how much I try. It's a horrible feeling when you start to think you will be alone forever lately that's all I think about.
Its strange, I dont mind feeling like I'll be alone, but its just I keep hearing I need to make friends and its putting pressure on me. I know I can make friends with people who are older than me, and hoping I can do that after college, because everyone is younger than I am here
 

·
rich
Joined
·
2 Posts
I think the truth is we all have passed traumas that have dictated how we live our lives. We can let the fears and misfortunes of the past live our life's for our future or we can bravely move forward knowing that the past does not tell our future. Be safe because the world is not all wonderful, but if you open up to getting yourself to ask someone you like out for coffee....cool stuff happens. Realizing this through pinning down exactly what is wrong with me. I could never in a million years really feel what had happened to you though sympathizing dearly cuz know-one should have to go what you have. I hope my two-bits helped you.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top