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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I started getting into cocktails over the last year and a half or so (gin/tonics, screwdrivers, stuff like that, plus some wines), but since last summer, and especially these last few months, I've come to almost depend on a cocktail or 3 to "unwind" at night. I basically drink every night now. Alone, of course, since I don't have a social life. It might be becoming a crutch but I'm not sure what exactly constitutes an actual alcoholic. I don't get hammered but I like to relax and get that slightly light-headed/buzzed feeling. I just wonder if I'm starting to depend too much on getting to that state.
 

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I always associate being an alcoholic with whether you feel like you have to drink. I had a period ages ago when i used to drink a bottle of wine every evening while I was cooking dinner. That wasn't all that much alcohol really but I would drink it after I had taken a fair bit of Xanax thoughout the day - and the alcohol would greatly increase the effect of the pills - or vice versa.
I used to crave that feeling of being out of it - I would drink it like water.

I would be asleep by about 8:30 every night. I stopped after seeing the look on my little boy's face one night after he'd helped me to bed - I was ashamed of myself and stopped drinking. Just like that. As with anything -you need a good reason to stop doing it.

TBh - it doesn't sound like you need to drink. But only you would know that for sure.
 

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Once I discovered that people thought I was more interesting after I had a few drinks, I drank more.
But it did catch up with me . Vanity worked for a while. I hated having a beer gut so I worked out like a demon to counter the effects.
I definitely used alcohol to deal with stress , anxiety and boredom but it often just created more.
I can't lie. I did have some fun drinking but then how much time did I waste? when I could've been studying or meditating or practising guitar more regularly. I think I could've been working more towards a goal like early retirement too.
But I haven't been a heavy drinker since my 30's. I can remember one morning, I was bringing up bile from consuming a bottle of vodka. I only drink once a week now and then only 3 cans. Body doesn't like it anymore, especially the head.:)
 

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especially these last few months, I've come to almost depend on a cocktail or 3 to "unwind" at night. I basically drink every night now. Alone, of course, since I don't have a social life. It might be becoming a crutch .
Drinking alone and drinking with others is very different from my experience. You get a kind of social buzz from talking and drinking as well. Drinking alone is almost like a fully focussed self-harming event. it is very deliberate. Social drinking, you hardly notice what you're doing.
 

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to mysteriousvirgo....

I am a recovered alcoholic u can ask.me anything u like cuz i sure know about boozing. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Doctors call it a disease. But u are way way in what they call early stages. Later on a person will come to.depend on having beers after work. It sneaks up on u and your body and your mind gets hooked. It also depends on if u truly enjoy the buzz of alcohol. Doctors Think alcoholics have a gene to be one. I also grew up watching adults drinking. So we started off young trying their beer or booze. But there are social drinkers who arent alcoholics. If u notice hangovers affecting your performance on your obligations in life...that is a clue. If u keep doing it over & over then it becomes a cycle. Lotsa people drink socially & dont have a problem at all. I drank alot cuz i was bored. It took many years of drinking everyday before i became physically addicted. Its easy to stop alcohol in its tracks. Cuz u recognize...and thats real good. Cuz lotsa alcoholics r in denial. All i can tell u mysterious...is alcoholism is a very bad road to go down. The reason i didnt stop it early is for the fact that i loved everything about alcohol. Be on the lookout & recognize if u like it a little too much. Then next stage i think is user becomes preoccupied with alcohol. Look up on internet the Stages of Alcoholism. They are all true of what happens. Dont allow alcohol to control your future.
 

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to mysteriousvirgo....

Ooops...my big mistake...i reread my comment!!!! NOT to say you r in early stages mysterious! Sorry i wrote wrong. Early stages consists of what u described as having a few drinks quite often & looking forward to it. In no way.am i judging u mysterious or saying u have any sort of problem. My Bad! Sorry.i worded wrong! Not saying You...saying those habits in regards to conversation on alcohol. Oopsie..
 

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Of course it's a problem and I won't sugar coat it. You are depending on something to wind down which isn't a problem until you realize that the dependance quickly turns into tolerance and the units will go up to gain the required effect.

Depends on how much things have changed over the last few months, maybe you started out with just one drink and now you are at 3? I don't know, but it is a slippery road which can change without even realising.
 

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The biggest red flag is that you're concerned about it. That probably means that there's something worth being concerned about.

You could try other things to wind down (exercising, watching a movie, etc.). If you find that those work for you, awesome. If you find that you can't get away from alcohol, or you still end up drinking despite trying not to, you may want to talk to someone about it.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Boredom, loneliness, and my dissatisfaction with (and hopeless feeling about) my life are things I seek to escape, at least temporarily. Every so often I'll drink myself into a full-blown stupor and then I end up very emotional, like floodgates were opened. I'm losing hope. Jobless, broke, staying somewhere temporarily, lonely, still hopelessly single, depending on parents and sporadic odd jobs for money. I'm what some would call "hard to hire" (see my oldest thread for clarification). I'm just...running out of hope. And it takes the life out of me. I feel dead. I feel no joy in my life.

Riderless, you may be on to something when you said drinking alone is almost a self-harming event. Drinking socially is more fun, but alone it feels like what you described.
 

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I thought I had a serious alcohol problem once so visited AA. I mean I went to 3 or 4 AA meetings. I was too nervous to speak and tell my story but honestly my story paled into significance compared to others. Guys were talking about
how it ruined their marriage, including domestic violence, ruining their career too. I felt my story too boring to tell so I didn't. I got a feeling of peer group pressure there and kind of bizarre contradictions that some were still drinking whilst attending those meetings. AA, run by volunteers, so I felt a lack of serious professional help, not that my problems were that severe anyway.(??) What I needed was good professional therapy to address my underlying low self-esteem and negative self-talk. I know that now, just I'm too stingy to spend the money.:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I probably do need professional help, but I don't have the resources ($$$). I've seen shrinks multiple times in the past over the years, and was even on Prozac and Effexor more than once. For most of my life, I've had EXTREMELY low self esteem and chronic depression and these are things I still struggle with.
 

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I probably do need professional help, but I don't have the resources ($$$). I've seen shrinks multiple times in the past over the years, and was even on Prozac and Effexor more than once. For most of my life, I've had EXTREMELY low self esteem and chronic depression and these are things I still struggle with.
Find support and give support wherever you can. You know I've even considered joining a Christian fellowship, even though I couldn't be as zealous as they want me to be. I've heard that some of those mega churches provide discounted/free counselling to the needy. That might sound el cheapo or sneaky but I would be prepared to help out a little bit too if they wanted. It's not I don't believe in Jesus Christ. It's just all the hooha and BS that some churches/christians have added to it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I may consider something like that. I, too, believe in Jesus but I'm not all that religious and into all the hooha, to use your word. It might help me build a social life too, if I could get myself to walk into a church one Sun. morning and actually talk to people.
 

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I thought I had a serious alcohol problem once so visited AA. I mean I went to 3 or 4 AA meetings. I was too nervous to speak and tell my story but honestly my story paled into significance compared to others. Guys were talking about
how it ruined their marriage, including domestic violence, ruining their career too. I felt my story too boring to tell so I didn't. I got a feeling of peer group pressure there and kind of bizarre contradictions that some were still drinking whilst attending those meetings. AA, run by volunteers, so I felt a lack of serious professional help, not that my problems were that severe anyway.(??) What I needed was good professional therapy to address my underlying low self-esteem and negative self-talk. I know that now, just I'm too stingy to spend the money.:)
I would strongly suspect that most people on this forum should ideally be getting good professional therapy, but as we both know wanting it and finding it are two very different things.

I've just had my 3rd session with my new psychologist - he is easily the most intelligent and best therapist I've ever seen - and I've seen a lot of them. In hospitals and rehab facilities, etc etc. I wish I would have found this guy years ago - but I'm also very relieved I've found him now. We are going to work on my anxiety problems - a combination of seeing him, CBT and gradual exposure therapy with a psych clinic at my old Uni.

You mention AA Rider - they used to make us go to those meetings when I was in government rehabs. You either had to attend or leave the hospital. We went to the NA ones too. I understand the reasoning behind their program and they have a certain degree of success - but it's certainly not for everyone. (including me) I needed something far more personalized.
 

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I may consider something like that. I, too, believe in Jesus but I'm not all that religious and into all the hooha, to use your word. It might help me build a social life too, if I could get myself to walk into a church one Sun. morning and actually talk to people.
If you're a believer you may find their meetings tolerable. Some people have a problem with that aspect of their program - I didn't really, even though I don't believe in anything. I'm used to making a lot of allowances for programs and people in general when it comes to getting help. There were other things that bothered me about the meetings - but depending on the one you go to and your level of commitment and patience - it might be good.
 

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I don't think you have a problem , so you have a few drinks each night to wind down , don't see the problem .

I have 4 to 6 beers a day , 1/2 bottle of red with dinner and a couple of scotch or baileys or ports at night . I'm not an alcoholic and get up every day and function normally and never drink before 11 but usually have the first around 3 ish .
So that's why I don't think you have a problem it's only a problem when it affect your ability to function and you have to have a drink , can't go without .
 

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I have 4 to 6 beers a day , 1/2 bottle of red with dinner and a couple of scotch or baileys or ports at night . I'm not an alcoholic and get up every day and function normally and never drink before 11 but usually have the first around 3 ish .
So that's why I don't think you have a problem it's only a problem when it affect your ability to function .
Maybe it hasn't affected your ability to function yet but have to say that's a looot of alcohol every day!
With a username like Grog as well?:)
No judgement. Just my honest reaction.
 

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Maybe it hasn't affected your ability to function yet but have to say that's a looot of alcohol every day!
With a username like Grog as well?:)
No judgement. Just my honest reaction.
No offence taken do like a honest reaction .
That's is how I got my name from years and years ago and seeing I don't drink as much now it's not that appropriate any more .
I don't think what I drink now a lot I don't get pissed and seeing that's spread out over 9 , 10 + hours with food it's really not that much
I'm sure after about 20 years of this it would have affected function by now but nothing has changed still blow under in the mornings . And I don't need to have a drink if I run out it doesn't bother me and I don't line up at the bottle shop waiting for it to open . The other thing is I'm sure most of it is sweated out as living in the nw of aus it's a starter amount compared to most who live around here . I don't see the problem with enjoying a drink each night .
Again thanks for the honesty opinion .
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
The only reason I was questioning my consumption of drinks is that it's becoming a way to dull the effect of my reality, push it into the background, escape my hopeless feelings before I go to sleep. I find myself feeling like I need it more and more.
 

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yeah its a great buzz if your under pressure at work , bored, lonely or just want to escape for a while, I was under alot of pressure at work a couple years ago and I found myself the same way needing booze to relax at the end of the day, I limit myself to drinking 1-2 nights a week now , I'll admit I do crave it sometimes, theres a few alcoholics in my family so I know i'm pre-disposed, nothing else gives me the same buzz i'm afraid...
 
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