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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,

So, I had a lot of time to think things through recently and I came to an unexpected realization - I actually (and indeed) love my SA, and most of my other disorders!

I realized that I don't want to get emotionally attached to people because all they did is hurt me. Instead of chasing my own tail, I told myself I won't go out this week nor next week, because that's what I truly want. It never goes out well, I never blend in even if I have a good start, it's only a matter of time when I'll blew everything away and unapologetic society will outcast me.

You probably felt this way before, so did I. It usually doesn't last more than a week, right? Well, this time, for me, it lasted over 2 months and I have to say it was the best era of my life!

Going to the shop, watching football games, trips to the woods - everything alone with my companion dog.
One thing that I liked the most is that NOBODY judged me for such a long period of time. Suddenly, 'ugly' position of my mouth, nose and eyes didn't make a difference, because I really didn't care for other people's opinion. Because I was suddenly all alone in the world. It seemed like those stares from random strangers disappeared, and I felt pure happiness once again in my life.

Now you're asking yourself: Okay, that's nice I guess, but why the heck would I love SA!?
Answer is extremely complicated, if not unexplainable.
Statistically, people with SA are more intelligent. Therefore, there must be good reasons for us to develop this kind of behavior. But, let's say this reason is irrelevant because a lot of us have weaker emotional intelligence or because it's induced by trauma from childhood or something third. I accept if you think of this as... hmm... dumb?
My TOP reason is - my own creative mind.
I'm an artist (musician/freelance writer) and that's how I make a living. If I didn't had SA and OCD, I would have never gone this far. If you're asking yourself how far have I actually got, you really don't need an answer. What is life if we don't do what we like? Success is just a bonus.


I want to hear your side of story, your opinion and your thoughts.
I don't encourage you to follow my footsteps, but I do encourage you to think about everything and give me your response.


'Till another time,
Bye!
 

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Doctor/therapist, now!

Sometimes the best advice doesn't need to be candy-coated in a block of inspiring words. Despite your conclusions here I advise that it would be best that you get some professional help.
 

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Hello,

So, I had a lot of time to think things through recently and I came to an unexpected realization - I actually (and indeed) love my SA, and most of my other disorders!

I realized that I don't want to get emotionally attached to people because all they did is hurt me. Instead of chasing my own tail, I told myself I won't go out this week nor next week, because that's what I truly want. It never goes out well, I never blend in even if I have a good start, it's only a matter of time when I'll blew everything away and unapologetic society will outcast me.

You probably felt this way before, so did I. It usually doesn't last more than a week, right? Well, this time, for me, it lasted over 2 months and I have to say it was the best era of my life!

Going to the shop, watching football games, trips to the woods - everything alone with my companion dog.
One thing that I liked the most is that NOBODY judged me for such a long period of time. Suddenly, 'ugly' position of my mouth, nose and eyes didn't make a difference, because I really didn't care for other people's opinion. Because I was suddenly all alone in the world. It seemed like those stares from random strangers disappeared, and I felt pure happiness once again in my life.

Now you're asking yourself: Okay, that's nice I guess, but why the heck would I love SA!?
Answer is extremely complicated, if not unexplainable.
Statistically, people with SA are more intelligent. Therefore, there must be good reasons for us to develop this kind of behavior. But, let's say this reason is irrelevant because a lot of us have weaker emotional intelligence or because it's induced by trauma from childhood or something third. I accept if you think of this as... hmm... dumb?
My TOP reason is - my own creative mind.
I'm an artist (musician/freelance writer) and that's how I make a living. If I didn't had SA and OCD, I would have never gone this far. If you're asking yourself how far have I actually got, you really don't need an answer. What is life if we don't do what we like? Success is just a bonus.

I want to hear your side of story, your opinion and your thoughts.
I don't encourage you to follow my footsteps, but I do encourage you to think about everything and give me your response.

'Till another time,
Bye!
This....I can totally relate to this. It's like the good Dr. Lecter said "fear is the price of our instrument" I second that on the creativity. I prize my creative thinking above all else. I have actually grown to love my solitude and my mind :) excellent food for thought OP.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
This....I can totally relate to this. It's like the good Dr. Lecter said "fear is the price of our instrument" I second that on the creativity. I prize my creative thinking above all else. I have actually grown to love my solitude and my mind :) excellent food for thought OP.
Right! I sometimes feel like if I spend too much time with people, my creativity level drops, I stop being in that 'mindset'.

I really needed a good rest but I have to admit I miss some of my friends, since I haven't seen most of them for over a month.
Above everything, we are humans and we can't functionate others.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Doctor/therapist, now!

Sometimes the best advice doesn't need to be candy-coated in a block of inspiring words. Despite your conclusions here I advise that it would be best that you get some professional help.
I respect your opinion. It's true that this post seems like I've been totally isolated and still am, but that's not the reality.
I minimalised contact with the outside world but I'm returning to the surface now.

I'm not anti-social, just a bit reserved like all of us. :)
 

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Ummm. If you are embracing what it feels like to be introverted and happy about being introverted, great. If you are embracing an isolation that excludes any type of emotional or emotional intimacy, not great.

I am an introverted artist too, and I need people. I definitely need people in my life to function normally.
 

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"I realized that I don't want to get emotionally attached to people because all they did is hurt me. Instead of chasing my own tail, I told myself I won't go out this week nor next week, because that's what I truly want. It never goes out well, I never blend in even if I have a good start, it's only a matter of time when I'll blew everything away and unapologetic society will outcast me."

It's easy to have a few bad experiences and then fear they will all go badly.

I figure if you tried once, it was because you were lonely and craving human companionship. I don't think that has gone away or changed.
 

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Hello,

So, I had a lot of time to think things through recently and I came to an unexpected realization - I actually (and indeed) love my SA, and most of my other disorders!

I realized that I don't want to get emotionally attached to people because all they did is hurt me. Instead of chasing my own tail, I told myself I won't go out this week nor next week, because that's what I truly want. It never goes out well, I never blend in even if I have a good start, it's only a matter of time when I'll blew everything away and unapologetic society will outcast me.

You probably felt this way before, so did I. It usually doesn't last more than a week, right? Well, this time, for me, it lasted over 2 months and I have to say it was the best era of my life!

Going to the shop, watching football games, trips to the woods - everything alone with my companion dog.
One thing that I liked the most is that NOBODY judged me for such a long period of time. Suddenly, 'ugly' position of my mouth, nose and eyes didn't make a difference, because I really didn't care for other people's opinion. Because I was suddenly all alone in the world. It seemed like those stares from random strangers disappeared, and I felt pure happiness once again in my life.

Now you're asking yourself: Okay, that's nice I guess, but why the heck would I love SA!?
Answer is extremely complicated, if not unexplainable.
Statistically, people with SA are more intelligent. Therefore, there must be good reasons for us to develop this kind of behavior. But, let's say this reason is irrelevant because a lot of us have weaker emotional intelligence or because it's induced by trauma from childhood or something third. I accept if you think of this as... hmm... dumb?
My TOP reason is - my own creative mind.
I'm an artist (musician/freelance writer) and that's how I make a living. If I didn't had SA and OCD, I would have never gone this far. If you're asking yourself how far have I actually got, you really don't need an answer. What is life if we don't do what we like? Success is just a bonus.

I want to hear your side of story, your opinion and your thoughts.
I don't encourage you to follow my footsteps, but I do encourage you to think about everything and give me your response.

'Till another time,
Bye!
I think I can relate to this. The happiest years in my life have been the latest years when I have withdrawn from society. My self-esteem (although still low) has improved a bit and I feel more at peace and less stressed in my daily life. I don't think I love my social anxiety but I don't think it only has affected me negatively. I think it has made me more compassionate and willing to understand people with other disorders. Having been alone I have also had more time reading and learning things I wouldn't otherwise have learned so in one way I'm thankful for my social anxiety.
 

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I kinda agree with handsup. I dont think anyone actually loves their SA, I think that in your case you just got a mix of being attatched to comfort + accepting yourself.

I think the hurdle is to somehow finding a perfect mix of self acceptance + self improvement. You wanna accept yourself, thereby not struggeling so much with nervous/negative feelings and thoughts, but you also wanna improve and challenge yourself so you can grow out of your isolation/depression.
 

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i think you guys are taking what he's saying too literally

i don't think he loves SA

SA lead him into isolation, and through that, he found happiness and comfortability by externalizing the outside world enough to not have to consider it a real factor in his life, which can be (for some people) much more satisfying than the quick rushes that you get from being around other people

it brought him into a period of self exploration, and for him, it's extremely beneficial because he's an artist, and clearly, channeling yourself through an artistic medium is all about self expression

without his SA, he might not have set himself apart from others enough to get a sense of who he really is, and embrace solitude

anyway op, i'm on the same page as you

i'm somewhat grateful for my issues, because i know what it is that makes me happy, what makes me stressed, sad, whatever... and i'm able to live in freedom without having to worry about other people, what they want from me, how they see me, and i have to pretty much censor myself around most other people, which is another stressor i don't need

people and their influences can really obscure your life, and muddy our respective, introspective journeys, and i'd rather keep it simple and unobstructed

and it helps, without a doubt, with any and all of my artistic pursuits to try and get a feel for where i really am, and who i'm becoming, as i continue to change throughout my life
 

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Yeah, I mean... I don't love my SA... even slightly... But learning to live with it is a better solution than learning to fix it. I think I'll always need people in my life, plus I still want people in my life, but I also know that I really value my time alone and I like working alone and it helps me to recharge in order to face people again.

Then again, everyone's different. It is possible to be truly happy living in total solitude? My instincts tell me no, but why.
 

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But learning to live with it is a better solution than learning to fix it.
++++ !

Fortunately for me, SA works well with my personality.

I am very apathetic, lazy, introverted and antisocial. I don't want to ever have a job or support myself. I don't want to put any effort into anything - things should be handed to me on a plate, even if I don't deserve them. So I need and want others to take care of me, whether it's family or a future husband or whatever.

I hate people (unless they're cute & smart guys), I hate animals, I hate nature, I hate traveling, I hate doing anything that I don't want to do, but have to.
Good thing I got rid of these things. Now I do only what I want.

If I were to instantly/magically get rid of my SA, my life would be exactly the same. I like how I am. The only difference might be... getting laid more often, probably. Lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I think I can relate to this. The happiest years in my life have been the latest years when I have withdrawn from society. My self-esteem (although still low) has improved a bit and I feel more at peace and less stressed in my daily life. I don't think I love my social anxiety but I don't think it only has affected me negatively. I think it has made me more compassionate and willing to understand people with other disorders. Having been alone I have also had more time reading and learning things I wouldn't otherwise have learned so in one way I'm thankful for my social anxiety.
I can understand you and, like I said, if I wasn't an artistic person this would be a different story. And if I didn't had my dog with me... My self esteem rose with time, I guess that happens to most 'normal' people.

I love it when you say it made you compassionate! Here is a little more about my psychological profile. I have unstable earnings, ranging from 800$-1500$ per month (this is above average in my country). I'm not an outgoing person, but I volunteer a few hours every week and donate more than half of my paycheck on some occasions!
Don't think of me as some bragging douche now, I'm just letting you know more about me :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Stop lying to yourself. There is no even 1 good thing about SA, no one can really love this bulls***.
Of course I thought that must have been a lie. It sounds absurd!

But, you're terribly wrong about one thing...
SA gives you an unique perspective of the world. True, for most of us it's negative perspective, so it did for me. Something changed, snapped.

Once I realized I wouldn't be the same person without SA, it actually made me proud. I would probably be just another ignorant brick in the wall without it!

People with SA (generally) have greater moral values.
We are more considerate, more caring.
You asked for one reason to love SA, you just need to accept it now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I kinda agree with handsup. I dont think anyone actually loves their SA, I think that in your case you just got a mix of being attatched to comfort + accepting yourself.

I think the hurdle is to somehow finding a perfect mix of self acceptance + self improvement. You wanna accept yourself, thereby not struggeling so much with nervous/negative feelings and thoughts, but you also wanna improve and challenge yourself so you can grow out of your isolation/depression.
Interesting and smart answer! That's exactly what we all should crave for!

Maybe I should had pointed out the fact that I live to work, not vice versa. I don't encourage anyone to shut their doors and order food in cans from ebay. That's unhealthy for SA.

BUT, if you embrace your flaws, you will feel better.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
i think you guys are taking what he's saying too literally

i don't think he loves SA

SA lead him into isolation, and through that, he found happiness and comfortability by externalizing the outside world enough to not have to consider it a real factor in his life, which can be (for some people) much more satisfying than the quick rushes that you get from being around other people

it brought him into a period of self exploration, and for him, it's extremely beneficial because he's an artist, and clearly, channeling yourself through an artistic medium is all about self expression

without his SA, he might not have set himself apart from others enough to get a sense of who he really is, and embrace solitude

anyway op, i'm on the same page as you

i'm somewhat grateful for my issues, because i know what it is that makes me happy, what makes me stressed, sad, whatever... and i'm able to live in freedom without having to worry about other people, what they want from me, how they see me, and i have to pretty much censor myself around most other people, which is another stressor i don't need

people and their influences can really obscure your life, and muddy our respective, introspective journeys, and i'd rather keep it simple and unobstructed

and it helps, without a doubt, with any and all of my artistic pursuits to try and get a feel for where i really am, and who i'm becoming, as i continue to change throughout my life
I didn't give much hope to this thread, so I kept it short. Sorry about that, this is where you'll find all my answers. Thank you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
++++ !

Fortunately for me, SA works well with my personality.

I am very apathetic, lazy, introverted and antisocial. I don't want to ever have a job or support myself. I don't want to put any effort into anything - things should be handed to me on a plate, even if I don't deserve them. So I need and want others to take care of me, whether it's family or a future husband or whatever.

I hate people (unless they're cute & smart guys), I hate animals, I hate nature, I hate traveling, I hate doing anything that I don't want to do, but have to.
Good thing I got rid of these things. Now I do only what I want.

If I were to instantly/magically get rid of my SA, my life would be exactly the same. I like how I am. The only difference might be... getting laid more often, probably. Lol.
It can be okay to be antisocial and lazy. I understand you because I also didn't want to get any full time job. It is boring to keep things monotone but "things should be handed to me on a plate, even if I don't deserve them" is the wrong attitude.
"Do what you want" is my favorite quote. Irony, since I have a million of rules.
 

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SA gave me an excuse not to try and make lasting friendships,ask girls out etc...I was always scared of rejection and took the easy way out (blame it on SA )
 
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