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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, so I tried to make a joke there but just to be clear, I'm not a lesbian haha; I'm a straight man. Anyway...

My school organization just had our regional conference this weekend. Fun stuff, great people from the West Coast, good food and awesome drinks. So my chapter decided to have a little afterparty at house near campus. I ended up arriving early after making a detour home to change out of my formal clothes, this meant being just me and the host (very awkward).

So fast-forward to 6 or 7 drinks, a fuzzy brain and muffled sense of hearing, and I find myself chatting up a young woman from out of state, very pretty and sweet. She invites me to finish the last of the champagne bottle while we talk about our last names and heritage (she's Scottish and I'm Honduran). Pretty soon, I just give her some bashful looks and compliment her (she takes it well), then I move in and cuddle with her on the couch. I then ask her if I could kiss her, she seems a little bewildered but we start with a little peck on the lips. This goes on to me kissing her cheek and getting another on the lips. One of her friends shows up in front of us and gives a weird look.

By this point she gets up and says she'll be right back. I'm sitting there listening to my after-party playlist and singing a bit enthusiastically. Next thing I know, she's ready to leave and she already told me to add her on FB, so I say bye. I get up at 10 AM and find the host cleaning up the sticky mess of spilled beer and empty vodka bottles, so I go ahead and leave for home.

Now she already accepted my request and I decided not to message her for hours (it takes a while to settle back home after a flight). But what really bothers me is what that intimate moment that night meant for both us. Clearly I was drunk as a skunk and so was she to a lesser degree, but I barely know her. I have no idea if I'm attracted to her or it was just the jungle juice talking and I'm scared that I screwed up with her to the point that she doesn't want to talk at all. I did ask her how her trip was, she read my message but hasn't responded yet.

What I want to do is tell her that what I did was a mistake but I feel that would be too rude and awkward. I'm denying that this was my official first kiss since it was under the influence of alcohol and raging hormones. What should I do? Thank you all.
 

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La Vie En Rose
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I read the title and immediately checked your gender, and was disappointed you weren't a girl :( Unfortunately I don't really have any good advice to give you since I've never been in this situation before! Though, I tend to not take what people do drunk, all that serious. I'm guessing she is wondering the same thing - what did the intimate moment mean to you, since you were both drunk. If you are still interested in her? Maybe all she wants is to get to know you and is deciding for herself if she's attracted to you too. Though I think sometimes people just prefer to ignore that such things ever happened as it may be too awkward to bring it up whereas, some people might be more straightforward and say like, they had a great time, but didn't act like themselves due to the drinking and are wondering if it's affected where they stand? Which also can be awkward if it meant nothing to the other person and they rather just forget.

 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well like I said, this was technically my first kiss so I am pretty freaked out internally. As I write this, she is online on FB and I'm letting her decide if she wants to respond. There's also the fact of her living nearly 1500 miles away and I know it cannot work out. If she really wants to get to know me, she does seem to be in the same shoes as I am, considering her lack of response.
 

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The harsh truth might be that from her perpective, she felt like making out in that moment. What guy wouldn't matter. She was in a specific emotional state at that moment which she's no longer in. Meaning, she's not interested in doing the same thing again unless she gets in the same emotional state. Use this success as motivation to go further with girls - if you want to create something that lasts longer than the night you should try to get to know the girl - ask her questions show interest in her. Have fun with her.
 

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If you want to try and get to know her better then go ahead, but the distance would be a big impediment to the creation of a real relationship. If she decides she doesn't want to talk to you anymore then who care? You'll be hundreds of miles away and probably wont ever see each other again.

The thing I don't get is why you dfon't want to count this kiss in your tally! Man, I'm a few years older than you and still kissless, and I'd count just about anything as being my first kiss just so I can get that stigma over with.

I don't care if a girl trips over a rock, falls into me, and our faces happen to touch. BAM! first kiss. I'm rolling with it.
 

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I read the title and immediately checked your gender, and was disappointed you weren't a girl :( Unfortunately I don't really have any good advice to give you since I've never been in this situation before! Though, I tend to not take what people do drunk, all that serious. I'm guessing she is wondering the same thing - what did the intimate moment mean to you, since you were both drunk. If you are still interested in her? Maybe all she wants is to get to know you and is deciding for herself if she's attracted to you too. Though I think sometimes people just prefer to ignore that such things ever happened as it may be too awkward to bring it up whereas, some people might be more straightforward and say like, they had a great time, but didn't act like themselves due to the drinking and are wondering if it's affected where they stand? Which also can be awkward if it meant nothing to the other person and they rather just forget.

What does that have to do with anything?
 

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La Vie En Rose
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What does that have to do with anything?
He asked what he should do, and I said I wasn't totally sure. But I also wanted to state that the girl is most likely feeling just as uneasy as him. He seems worried that it might have affected their standing, and I'm saying it might be a big deal to her or it might not. Some people would want to talk it out so they know where they stand and some don't. I'm not sure why you feel it's so irrelevant?

As for the picture which seems to have been removed, he made a joke on his title. So I joked back with a song about kissing...since his title was a joke on "I kissed a girl and I liked it." So...I'm quite confused why the picture was in any way offensive or irrelevant - especially if you understood the reference. It only makes sense that if the poster was joking himself - he's open to a joke back - one that is relevant and not overly offensive? So I think removing the picture is an overreaction by whoever flagged it just because they didn't get the reference.
 

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It's a drunken college make out, I'm afraid. Which is great on one hand. And there will be plenty more (quantity-wise and more than kissing) in your future if you're at a lot of parties like this. But as for this chick, yeh there's no point pursuing. You guys were both smashed, had a little fun, and that was that.
 

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It's a drunken college make out, I'm afraid. Which is great on one hand. And there will be plenty more (quantity-wise and more than kissing) in your future if you're at a lot of parties like this. But as for this chick, yeh there's no point pursuing. You guys were both smashed, had a little fun, and that was that.
I think that's about it. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. Sometimes, you even do things that you would not normally do sober. This could have crossed that threshold.
 

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I feel I'm the only person who does not get affected by alcohol. Sorry, kind of off topic.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Sad life for me, I'm just gonna let this go and let her decide if she wants to talk. If not, oh well :/
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I ended up sending a small apology, I might consider unfriending her if nothing comes up. Geez, I should really check myself next time. If beer is the only thing holding me back from talking to women in a romantic way (I have no problem talking to them sober), then I really need to schedule a therapy session. I feel bad for ignoring my psychiatrist's advice :p
 

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It's a drunken college make out, I'm afraid. Which is great on one hand. And there will be plenty more (quantity-wise and more than kissing) in your future if you're at a lot of parties like this. But as for this chick, yeh there's no point pursuing. You guys were both smashed, had a little fun, and that was that.
This.
 
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