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so I've been self harming lately, my depression is getting really bad. I had so many cuts on my arm that I got this weird tingling feeling in my arm and I could barley move it. I was worried I hit a nerve or something so I had a panic attack and tried to call the kids help line.

when the help line answered I got so nervous and froze, I just couldn't speak to them because I was way to shy and nervous. I had to hang up and I had another panic attack. I waited 2o minutes until I had calmed down and tried to call them again. this time when they answered I started stuttering and I kept saying um a lot, I don't think they could understand me.

I was like "Um I-I err-I um, I did-I um,um-I" and then I hanged up again and started crying because I had just embarrassed myself.


I then decided that I had to tell someone because my arm was hurting and It felt weird, I thought it could be really serious.so I knew I had to tell someone.

my dad was at work and mum was asleep, my sister was the only one awake.

so I told her through her door that I cut myself and self harmed and now my arm feels weird and she opened her door and started crying straight away and asked why I would do that and how long I've been doing it for and I told her I need a hospital because I couldn't move my arm.

she then started sobbing and ran to my mum's room to wake her up while I locked myself up in the bathroom and had a panic attack again . I heard my mum scream the words "she did what!" from her bedroom and then I heard this sobbing sound and mum freaked out and kept screaming my name. she kept screaming where are u and she went crazy because they couldn't find me.

I then told her to relax and that I was in the bathroom and she started banging on the door and asking me what I was doing in there, I guess she was scared that I was cutting again. when I came out my mum started sobbing and kept asking me why I would do this to myself and how silly it was. she was freaking out and overreacting. she even puked all over the place . she was freaking out.

she thought that I self harm because im suicidal but I not, I just have depression and self harm is how I cope.

anyway she called my dad home form work and he was mad and put some cream on me. he thought I was doing it for attention and got really mad.


they didn't take me to the hospital because they were scared that I would be taken away from them and put into a mental hospital or something.

my mum is now paranoid , she took all the knives out of the house and is making me sleep on the lounge in the main room . Im now not allowed in any room by myself and now they keep watching me and wont give me any privacy. they also keep talking about it and crying all the time. they keep acting like there mad at me. also im not allowed my laptop or anything. it's like there punishing me :(.

im seeing a specialist in three days to get prescribed some medication I think.


life just really sucks right now :(:(:(:(
 

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I know it doesn't feel this way right now, but you can't go on doing that. It is better for you in the long run that they know now. They're understandably freaked out, your parents aren't trained in dealing with things like this, it may help if you show them some websites about self harm and try to help them understand it.

How is your arm now? If it's still bad you really need to go to the hospital. I don't know how the legal system works in australia but I can't imagine they'd take you away from your parents, that usually only happens if your parents abuse you.

What specialist are you seeing?
 

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It sounds like your parents aren't handling the situation well, although i can understand any parent would probably be mortified that their daughter self harms. You should def see a therapist of some sort, maybe get the therapist to have a talk with your parents (without you in the room) to see how they can help you rather than punish you.
My sister used to self harm, that was many years ago, she's much better now, but you can still see the faint scars on her forearms. That **** really ain't cool.
 

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ScrewedUp
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If your arm is still tingling and not doing well you need to insist to them they need to take you to the hospital. You won't be taken away from them for self harming. I know from experience. Medications for the depression and some form of counseling should hopefully help you. The initial reactions from your family are understandable but they aren't handling it well now. Go in knowing recovery won't be fast or easy but stay strong and you can do it! Don't be discouraged by relapse, it happens to everyone. Best of luck to you.
 

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'
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I was like "Um I-I err-I um, I did-I um,um-I" and then I hanged up again and started crying because I had just embarrassed myself.
You didn't embarrass ''yourself''. You're just an anonymous caller for them, don't worry. They receive that kind of calls all the time.

I told her I need a hospital because I couldn't move my arm.

anyway she called my dad home form work and he was mad and put some cream on me. he thought I was doing it for attention and got really mad.

they didn't take me to the hospital because they were scared that I would be taken away from them and put into a mental hospital or something.
Wow, that was incredibly selfish of them. As Amak said, if your arm still hurts, they should take you to the hospital.

they keep acting like there mad at me. also im not allowed my laptop or anything. it's like there punishing me :(.
They are acting like they're mad at you because they're actually mad at themselves, and they don't know how to deal with it. So they release their anger at you.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I think it's a good thing that they know about your self-harming, they will probably take your depression and SA more seriously from now on.

And don't cut anymore.
 

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Maybe?
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They are acting like they're mad at you because they're actually mad at themselves, and they don't know how to deal with it. So they release their anger at you.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I think it's a good thing that they know about your self-harming, they will probably take your depression and SA more seriously from now on.

And don't cut anymore.
^

I definitely think this is accurate. To a family, the idea of one of them being in harm's way but having no way to really help them is terrifying, especially to a parent who feels it's their job to ensure that their child is happy and healthy. Not trying to guilt you, just trying to shed light on the fact that your family is hurting along with you.

It's a dark situation, but I hope that this serves as a catalyst to eventually positively involve your family in helping you through depression. Sometimes things break down a little bit first.
 

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when i was 12 i went to the hospital over cutting (also because I was suicidal, friend called the cops), they won't take you away. You should go because it might be blood poisoning from cutting with something that is dirty or rusty. My parents punished me too, watched me a lot, but they made fun of me for doing it.

Mom only cried around the doctors to seem like she cared, but made fun of me after, along with the rest of my family. :no It's hard. They took everything away from me, made me switch schools, and never allowed me to my best friend's (sister to me) house again, they wouldn't let me go to church ever again. It's not good, all you'll have is these scars for life and I feel so embarrassed from a mistake I made when I was younger. :( They all said it was for attention too, but it wasn't. I know how you must feel, with you being just 14. I can't tell you things will change, but you've got to change your coping skills.

My grandpa told me not to be embarrassed of it though, "some people have scars on the inside, some people have them on the outside and some have them on both."

this brings me back :(
go to the hospital, because if you do have blood poisoning you COULD die and that's not what you want.
 

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so I've been self harming lately, my depression is getting really bad. I had so many cuts on my arm that I got this weird tingling feeling in my arm and I could barley move it. I was worried I hit a nerve or something so I had a panic attack and tried to call the kids help line.

when the help line answered I got so nervous and froze, I just couldn't speak to them because I was way to shy and nervous. I had to hang up and I had another panic attack. I waited 2o minutes until I had calmed down and tried to call them again. this time when they answered I started stuttering and I kept saying um a lot, I don't think they could understand me.

I was like "Um I-I err-I um, I did-I um,um-I" and then I hanged up again and started crying because I had just embarrassed myself.

I then decided that I had to tell someone because my arm was hurting and It felt weird, I thought it could be really serious.so I knew I had to tell someone.

my dad was at work and mum was asleep, my sister was the only one awake.

so I told her through her door that I cut myself and self harmed and now my arm feels weird and she opened her door and started crying straight away and asked why I would do that and how long I've been doing it for and I told her I need a hospital because I couldn't move my arm.

she then started sobbing and ran to my mum's room to wake her up while I locked myself up in the bathroom and had a panic attack again . I heard my mum scream the words "she did what!" from her bedroom and then I heard this sobbing sound and mum freaked out and kept screaming my name. she kept screaming where are u and she went crazy because they couldn't find me.

I then told her to relax and that I was in the bathroom and she started banging on the door and asking me what I was doing in there, I guess she was scared that I was cutting again. when I came out my mum started sobbing and kept asking me why I would do this to myself and how silly it was. she was freaking out and overreacting. she even puked all over the place . she was freaking out.

she thought that I self harm because im suicidal but I not, I just have depression and self harm is how I cope.

anyway she called my dad home form work and he was mad and put some cream on me. he thought I was doing it for attention and got really mad.

they didn't take me to the hospital because they were scared that I would be taken away from them and put into a mental hospital or something.

my mum is now paranoid , she took all the knives out of the house and is making me sleep on the lounge in the main room . Im now not allowed in any room by myself and now they keep watching me and wont give me any privacy. they also keep talking about it and crying all the time. they keep acting like there mad at me. also im not allowed my laptop or anything. it's like there punishing me :(.

im seeing a specialist in three days to get prescribed some medication I think.

life just really sucks right now :(:(:(:(
Quick tip:
When you feel the need to cut yourself , take and squeeze some ice instead. Many borderline patients stop cutting themselves this way. ;)
 

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Lone Demon
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Never ever cut yourself without sterilizing your cutting tool with rubbing alcohol, and always use rubbing alcohol on your wound(s) after.
 
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