[susie22]

I just wanted to share this and maybe it will help someone.

I have been battling SA for a very long time and it has been very difficult for me. I was at the point where even thinking about being in a social situation would make me go into a panic attack. I have been reading and writing a lot on this SA forum for support and advice.

Well, day before yesterday my husband and I got invited to one of his co-worker's house for a poker party. There were going to be A LOT of people there. I spent all day yesterday trying to come up with some sort of excuse to get out of it. My anxiety was through the roof! It was about time to go and I decided I am just going to have to face this head on and if something bad goes wrong I will just leave...

I got there and as soon as I walked in the door. My husband's co-worker's wife instantly introduced herself to me and then took me on a tour of her house and introduced me to each and every person there. I thought that was a very nice thing to do, to go out of her way just to get me to know every one there. ( I was obviously the new person) It was time to play poker and I started feeling my anxiety go up because I have no idea how to play and I was scared if I asked that every one would think I was a moron for being 22 and never playing poker.... So I just forced myself to admit to her I have never played... So she told her husband and instantly I had 5 people showing me the ropes and strategies to play without making me feel stupid! I really hate being the center of attention. But as it turned out I dominated in poker which gave people something to talk and joke with me about. Then I realized.... This is not bad at all. Nobody laughed at me and nobody treated me like I was a complete moron. This was the first time in 5 years I did not try and find an escape route and hide from a social situation. I found out I had a lot in common with most of the navy wives there.! Now I actually have a full week of plans with them! I am actually making friends for the first time in a long time. ( I moved to FL about a month ago so I know no one)

Being on this forum, reading peoples experiences and talking with people on here has helped me more than any therapist could... I hope I can stick with this mindset... So I can overcome this anxiety

 

[flickaflicka]

I am so happy for you, Sussie! Hold on to that feeling and let it grow. : D

 

[radames]

Good job! :yay

 

[organicwildroot]

That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. They sound like genuine down to earth people. I hope they turn out to be long term friendships for you.

 

[leonardess]

that is SO great - to me, this proves what I've been reading and being told by my therapist - these situations are NOT the huge, Horrible, MONSTROUS things we can build them up to be. Most people, really, are just decent folk. Good for you!

 

[mrfixit]

thanks for the input. i believe that in order for one to overcome something one MUST face it first. if one never faces their fears, one will be lost searching for solutions and never finding it. sort of like how one learns how to talk or walk. one must listen and try to talk to people in order to learn how to talk. one must stand up in order to learn how to walk. one must open the mouth in order to learn how to talk. if one just sits and not try, one will never learn how to walk. if one never opens the mouth and tries to talk, one will never learn how to talk. same thing with over coming fears. if i'm scare of spiders i must grab a spider to over come the fear, if i'm scared of dogs i must get me a dog to over come those fears, if i'm scared of socializing i must socialize and so on. when someone confronts their fears head on the 'self' learns how to cope with it automatically. is something that the 'self' has learned to do to cope with and learn (evolve) to do to over come fears. sure, one will learn how to cope with it as long as there is no negative affects from such confrontations. negative affects brings negative results, positive affects brings positive results. your situation is one example of my believes.

 

[Catlover4100]

That's awesome! Your post made me happy; I'm glad you're making new friends